Tuesday, February 05, 2008

If the Shoe Fits....

What is it with our modern culture and ill-fitting clothing?

I'm not just talking about the ill-advised use of spandex on the larger people among us... I'm talking about the poor attire choices of so many people you see around you, be they svelte and fit or "less-than-such."

I crossed state lines and headed to the big city last week and had the chance to ride some late-night mass transit. My word.... Ten years ago, you would have had to go to Los Angeles or Las Vegas to see so much flesh. And, as we've already discussed, it's not always pleasant flesh.

(OK. I'm going to catch a lot of grief for that phrase... "pleasant flesh". I'm guessing the LW is going to need more than flowers for Valentine's to make up for that remark.)

I also see it in my clients all the time. We've had the "dancer" who appeared in bankruptcy court in a spaghetti strap crop-top; granted, it was covered (mostly) by a blazer.... But the blazer did nothing for the denim "Daisy Dukes" she was wearing. I've had an anorexic teenage guy with an oversize tank top, with more tattoos than flesh. Of course, you have the ubiquitous thong sightings (which raises the question: how do they make those little strings SO strong to fit some of these men and women? (Yes. I did say "men." That, my friends, is a sight sufficient to bring last Thanksgiving's dinner back up the pipes.)

I've seen it in other attorneys' clients, too. Like the woman wearing a tube top (also under a blazer, for what good it did) whose...umm... breasts Northern Assets had a more-than-passing acquaintance with her waist. Or the girls with hip-hugging pajama bottoms. Guys in sweat pants.

I guess I should be glad it's NOT just me.

But today there was a sighting of perhaps the worst of all.


There was a sighting of what a friend of mine terms "Hairy Belt Cleavage."



For the uninitiated, "belt cleavage" is often seen when a plumber is hard at work.

Add in copious amounts of (horrifyingly enough, apparently GROOMED) back hair on the lower back and beyond, and .... Well, you get the picture.

Oh! For a government job where you don't get these people in your office ... and if you have to work with them, it's only in passing for a brief moment.

We're talking three to five years at least of this client. Would it be crass or unprofessional to grab him by the shoulders and shake him while screaming, "Pull your shirt down, man! Wear a longer shirt! Throw the hip-huggers away! For all that is good and Holy in this world, PLEASE COVER UP!"

Would that be soooooo wrong? It's something to ponder, certainly. A possible solution.

So...why am I telling you all of this?

Misery loves company. Plain and simple.

...and maybe by sharing, I can get a little bit of the picture out of MY head.

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