Jotting Tittles: Governor Jar-Jar and Paranormal TV

I realized it had been nearly a month since I had checked in here, so I thought I would emerge from my post-Noel hibernations. Actually, it was a combination of logging on to the internet and watching TV this morning that spurred me on to a couple of brief observations.

First up, I saw a Yahoo! News teaser on the "worst people of the year." In that teaser story was this picture of Former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. My first thought was "Who IS that?" My second thought was: "Look at that freaking wattle!" And then my third thought made me do a quick internet search. Tell me these two were not separated at birth.... Maybe it is just me but the Governator looks distinctly Gungan to me. If you still cannot see it, look at Arnie's neck and mouth. He's Gungan with hair. And sunglasses.

Second up: I came downstairs and found the Horde watching something called "Destination Truth" on the SyFy Channel. [Aside: I trust I am not the only one out there that STILL cannot stand the 'new' spelling of their channel name. I keep wanting to call it the 'Sissy Channel.' Of course, the stupid spelling somewhat indicates the quality of their made-for-TV movies. I love 'B' movies and monster movies as much as the next man, but that dreck is purely unwatchable.] Apparently this "Destination Truth" is another in a long line of what I call "Paranormal Television." As much as I would love to believe that creatures like the Sasquatch are out there somewhere, I find it impossible to call this brand of television "Reality Television." [Aside: I suppose that for accuracy's sake I should say that the technical term for these creatures is 'cryptids.' And now you know.]I sat and absorbed this television peripherally, from the Sasquatch They hunt to the hunt for the Ahool to the hunt for a massive 8' x 3' eel-like creature in the Philippines. As I watched I asked myself a question: "Do these people really believe in what they're doing? Really?" It is the same question that I ask when I see an advertisement for a ghost-hunter series. "Really? They're spending money on this?" But then I had a realization. Just once, I would love to see one of these cryptids (or spirits) actually exist and come out of the dark (because these people are always filming with night-vision cameras) and just bite the face off of one of these "investigators." Chomp. That's all. Ratings boost. SyFy wins credibility. Instead, I am reminded of Dean Yaeger's comments from Ghostbusters:

Dr. Venkman, we believe that the purpose of science is to serve mankind. You, however, seem to regard science as some kind of "dodge" or "hustle." Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy and your conclusions are highly questionable. You're a poor scientist, Dr. Venkman, and you have no place in this department or in this University.

Third up: The New Years' celebration quickly approaches. As it does every year, the "year-end" countdowns and "best-ofs/worst ofs" have begun to fill the airwaves. I am compelled to ask: Am I the only one that is utterly and completely IRRITATED this crap? I loathe these programs. I detest them with a passion. I dislike them even more than I do the "human interest filler" stories on the local news. I cannot believe they have any use or value other than to kill time and keep writers and producers from actually doing their work and writing real stories. Ugh. Thank heavens for the DVD collection. I think I will wear out the DVD player between now and Sunday.

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble. Feel free to leave me your own thoughts. I will try and check back in before the last year-end countdown airs. If I do not connect with you again, may I extend to you my hopes that your Christmas was wonderful, that your New Year will be prosperous, and thank you for your readership and friendship. Shalom and God Bless.

It's NaNoWriMo Time Again!

Well, it is that time again, the time when my pencil sharpener earns its worth and I run through fountain pen ink like water. I have a stack of paper at my office desk and pocket notebooks proliferate my suit, jeans, and pajamas.

What time is it boys and girls? It's NaNoWriMo time again!

What is NaNoWriMo, you ask?

National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30. ... The ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

This will be my seventh year; I have won each of the last three years. And I have been dreading this day since December 1, 2010.

No, seriously. I dread November like the coming plague. But this year it is even worse than usual. I have no ideas for plot, character, or even genre. I am hoping some kind of inspiration strikes in the next 10 hours, because if not.... Well, let us just say that it will be an EXTREMELY long month.

Wish me luck. I will most likely be quite absent for a while, but then I suppose you are all quite used to that. I will try and keep you up to date on my progress, but I cannot guarantee anything at this point. After all, every ounce of writing, typing, or creative output has to be focused on THE NOVEL.

[SIGH]

Want to join me? Head on over to www.nanowrimo.org and register.

NPR's Top 100 Fantasy & Sci-Fi Books

I found this in a round-about way through the blogosphere as I think I would bleed out through the eyes if I were forced to listen to NPR for more than 35 seconds. You can find a printable version of the list here. Apparently 60,000+ voted on this list; it's an interesting list.
NPR's Top 100 Fantasy/SF books
1. The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien - Read over and over.
2. The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams - Read over and over.s times; love it.
3. Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card - Read over and over.
4. The Dune Chronicles, by Frank Herbert - I read Dune and simply could not go any further with the series.
5. A Song Of Ice And Fire Series, by George R. R. Martin - Reading now.
6. 1984, by George Orwell - Read over and over.
7. Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury - Read over and over.
8. The Foundation Trilogy, by Isaac Asimov - Read the series twice.
9. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley - I have always intended to read this, but have never gotten around to it.
10. American Gods, by Neil Gaiman - Read, but did not enjoy overmuch.
11. The Princess Bride, by William Goldman - Read over and over.
12. The Wheel Of Time Series, by Robert Jordan - Read up to book 9 twice, but cannot seem to get any further.
13. Animal Farm, by George Orwell - Read it.
14. Neuromancer, by William Gibson - Read it.
15. Watchmen, by Alan Moore - Read it.
16. I, Robot, by Isaac Asimov - Read it.
17. Stranger In A Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein - Read several times.
18. The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss - Read the first one twice; found it quite enjoyable.
19. Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut - No interest in reading it.
20. Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley - Read over and over.
21. Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, by Philip K. Dick - Read it.
22. The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood - No interest in reading it.
23. The Dark Tower Series, by Stephen King - Could not make it through book #3.
24. 2001: A Space Odyssey, by Arthur C. Clarke - Read it.
25. The Stand, by Stephen King - Read over and over.
26. Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson - Never read it.
27. The Martian Chronicles, by Ray Bradbury - Read it several times.
28. Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut - No interest in reading it.
29. The Sandman Series, by Neil Gaiman - Never read it.
30. A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess - Forced to watch the movie in college; no interest in reading it.
31. Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein - Read over and over.
32. Watership Down, by Richard Adams - Read it.
33. Dragonflight, by Anne McCaffrey - Read it.
34. The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein - Read it several times.
35. A Canticle For Leibowitz, by Walter M. Miller - Never read it.
36. The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells - Read it several times.
37. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, by Jules Verne - Read it several times.
38. Flowers For Algernon, by Daniel Keys - Read it several times.
39. The War Of The Worlds, by H.G. Wells - Read it several times.
40. The Chronicles Of Amber, by Roger Zelazny - Never read it, but want to read it.
41. The Belgariad, by David Eddings - Read it; not his best work, in my opinion.
42. The Mists Of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley - Never read it.
43. The Mistborn Series, by Brandon Sanderson - Read it twice (so far).
44. Ringworld, by Larry Niven - Read it several times.
45. The Left Hand Of Darkness, by Ursula K. LeGuin - Never read it.
46. The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien - Never read it. (If I want to read something that reads like the Scriptures, I will read the Scriptures.)
47. The Once And Future King, by T.H. White - Read it.
48. Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman - Never read it.
49. Childhood's End, by Arthur C. Clarke - Never read it.
50. Contact, by Carl Sagan - Read it.
51. The Hyperion Cantos, by Dan Simmons - Read it.
52. Stardust, by Neil Gaiman - Never read it.
53. Cryptonomicon, by Neal Stephenson - Never read it.
54. World War Z, by Max Brooks - Never read it.
55. The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle - Read it.
56. The Forever War, by Joe Haldeman - Never read it.
57. Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett - Never read it.
58. The Chronicles Of Thomas Covenant, The Unbeliever, by Stephen R. Donaldson - No interest in reading it.
59. The Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold - Never read it.
60. Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett - Never read it.
61. The Mote In God's Eye, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle - Read it.
62. The Sword Of Truth, by Terry Goodkind - Read several of the first books.
63. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy - No interest in reading it.
64. Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, by Susanna Clarke - Never read it.
65. I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson - Never read it.
66. The Riftwar Saga, by Raymond E. Feist - Read the first one.
67. The Shannara Trilogy, by Terry Brooks - Read it.
68. The Conan The Barbarian Series, by R.E. Howard - Read several of the books.
69. The Farseer Trilogy, by Robin Hobb - Read once. Ugh. Never again.
70. The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger - Never read it.
71. The Way Of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson - Never read it, but plan to do so.
72. A Journey To The Center Of The Earth, by Jules Verne - Read it.
73. The Legend Of Drizzt Series, by R.A. Salvatore - Read the first dozen; that is enough for me.
74. Old Man's War, by John Scalzi - Read it.
75. The Diamond Age, by Neil Stephenson - Never read it.
76. Rendezvous With Rama, by Arthur C. Clarke - Read it several times.
77. The Kushiel's Legacy Series, by Jacqueline Carey - Never read it.
78. The Dispossessed, by Ursula K. LeGuin - Never read it.
79. Something Wicked This Way Comes, by Ray Bradbury - Read it several times.
80. Wicked, by Gregory Maguire - No interest in reading it.
81. The Malazan Book Of The Fallen Series, by Steven Erikson - Read Book #1; no interest in going further.
82. The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde - Never read it.
83. The Culture Series, by Iain M. Banks - Never read it.
84. The Crystal Cave, by Mary Stewart - Read it several times.
85. Anathem, by Neal Stephenson - Never read it.
86. The Codex Alera Series, by Jim Butcher - Read Books #1 and #2.
87. The Book Of The New Sun, by Gene Wolfe - Never read it.
88. The Thrawn Trilogy, by Timothy Zahn - Read over and over.
89. The Outlander Series, by Diana Gabaldan - Never read it.
90. The Elric Saga, by Michael Moorcock - Read a couple of them.
91. The Illustrated Man, by Ray Bradbury - Read it.
92. Sunshine, by Robin McKinley - Never read it.
93. A Fire Upon The Deep, by Vernor Vinge - Never read it.
94. The Caves Of Steel, by Isaac Asimov - Read it.
95. The Mars Trilogy, by Kim Stanley Robinson - Read Books #1 and #2.
96. Lucifer's Hammer, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle - Read it several times. Took this book with me on my honeymoon, in fact.
97. Doomsday Book, by Connie Willis - Never ead it.
98. Perdido Street Station, by China Mieville - Read it once. Barely. Never again.
99. The Xanth Series, by Piers Anthony - Read the first sixteen.
100. The Space Trilogy, by C.S. Lewis - Read it.

It looks like I am at about 65%, give or take. There are some titles on there that probably should not be there, and there are some titles/authors that I think they missed. All told, however, it is an intriguing list; maybe one of these days I will take a weekend, sit down, and make my own list.

Yeah, in all my spare time.

Gaming Stuff for the Troops

Today I came across a terrific opportunity to help support the Troops.

Jason, a.k.a. The Action Point, is a combat veteran and an RPG Gamer. He is currently in the Inactive Ready Reserves, but is working as a contractor helping train the troops stationed at the Bagram Air Force Base in Afganistan on various vehicles--operation, repair, safety, efficiency, etc.

He is attempting to put together an organization to help similarly-minded troops have access to RPG gaming while overseas. In his words, he is "doing what I wish there had been someone to do when I was still in uniform, but never had the time or resources to do" himself.

The movement is picking up steam, largely from word-of-mouth. Even the "mighty" Wizards of the Coast have agreed to help, donating game materials from their Fourth Edition "Essentials" line of Dungeons & Dragons.

However, a lot of the "basics" still need to be supplied: miniatures, dice, game mats, etc.

If you go here: Bagram AFB Gaming Community you can read more about the movement to provide gaming supplies to our troops, including direct links to purchase said supplies.

To all my readers: please consider supporting the Bagram AFB Gaming Community. It does not matter whether you are a Gamer or not, it is a way for you to help support those troops who are, regardless of your political views, out there giving of their time, energy, and even their lives all the while living under Old Glory and fighting for Liberty. Above all, they are heroes themselves who deserve a little bit of escapism in their lives. I know several, and have lost friends and relatives in the cause.

Please: check out the above link for more information, or head over to THIS wishlist at Amazon.com to make a purchase and donation to the cause.

Yeah. I may be a geek. But I love the troops and think this is a terrific cause. Of course, nearly ANY opportunity to support our troops is a terrific cause.

NaNoWriMo 2010

Yes.

It is that time of year again.

Just when I was starting to get in the blog-writing mode again, here comes NaNoWriMo. Like a Universal conspiracy, here comes NaNoWriMo to torpedo my blog again.

I am really starting to dread November and hate it when it is here.

And it is here.

"Why do it?" I hear you ask.

Because. Because of the feeling you get when you finish. I have heard it described as a massive bowel movement following a month of painful constipation. (Actually, I have only heard it described that way from my own two lips.)

You are welcome for that imagery. And at no extra charge, either.

As painful as it is, there is still a feeling of pride and accomplishment when 12:01 December 1 rolls around and you look and see a document with 50,000+ words that did not exist 30 days ago.

I think it may be as close as I come in this lifetime to actually going through labor and giving birth.

At least, I hope it is as close as I come.

Which Die Am I?

Wow. I am not sure what to make of this.


You are a d20: You are a ruthless warrior. Thinking is for idiots and nerds. Doing things is what gets things done. You are the type who stabs now, and then asks questions later. Much later. And it usually involves a priest. For you, the best defense is a good offense, and the best offense usually involves burning the whole place to the ground -- at least twice. You are a whirlwind of destruction, composed of rash decisions and reckless actions. Put briefly, you are a danger to yourself and others. Good thing nobody ever listens to you.

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

We Did It!

At 10:30 p.m. Monday it was official!

Myself, my LW, and three of the Horde all reached our NaNoWriMo goals. Between us there were over 136,000 words of fiction written in our little home over the past 30 days. That's over 4,500 words per day.

That is a lot of writing, typing, and creative energy.

There was some real garbage put out (at least on my part) but there was some really brilliant writing put out too (that would be my LW and the Hordelings).

There were dwarves, elves, and dragons. There were some detectives, some spaceships, and a little time travel thrown in. There was teenage angst and middle-aged regret. There was even some introspection done. There was definitely pain: mental, emotional, and physical. If I am not mistaken, there was also a visit from Yoda and a few other Star Wars characters.

Congratulations to my family! I am so proud of all of you!

...and somewhat relieved that November is over for another 11 months.

Literary U-Turn

Well, it happened.

I hate my characters and my novel.

I hate them enough that I am dropping it like a hot potato.

That's right. I am now 16,000 words in. I have been stalled for several days because I just cannot stand the people in my head, and I woke up this morning with a new book flooding into my brain.

The characters in my first attempt are SO bad that I was better able to channel dialogue for one of my wife's characters than dialogue and actions for three characters who have been nurtured in my head for months. Oh, yeah... all I know about my wife's character is his name and approximate age.

So. I am going from a dark, gritty fantasy novel to what I picture as an urban fantasy, alternate-modern novel with a lighter comedic edge. And I have 10 days.

For those with a public-school education, that comes out to be 5,000 words per day.

Can I do it? I think so.

Will I? I hope so.

NaNoWriMo 2009

I'm scared of Hallowe'en this year.

Not because my office building may be haunted by two or more spirits.

Not because my neighborhood is populated by zombies, ghouls, and at least one vampire.

It's because on the day after Hallowe'en, or All Saints' Day, IT begins.

NaNoWriMo 2009.

National Novel Writing Month.

I did it last year.

It's taken me nearly a full year to recover my will and desire to really, REALLY write again.

And now this. Self-imposed slavish speculative scribbling.

I still have nightmares from last year.

But as I sit here, I'm again sharpening my pencils and filling my pens with fresh ink.

As I travel from home to the office, from the office to court, and back again, my mind races over plots, characters, dialogue, and, oh yeah.... "plot."

50,000 words staring me in the face and I do not yet have a story.

I have nine days.

And no story.

It is going to be painful. I know that.

And yet...bring it on.

Which Character, Part II

You Scored as Gimli

Gimli = 83%

Gandalf = 67%
Boromir = 60%
Merry = 60%
Sam = 60%
Eomer = 57%
Frodo = 53%
Legolas = 50%
Aragorn = 47%
Saruman = 43%
Pippin = 43%
Gollum = 40%
Elrond = 30%
Sauron = 30%

Unfortunately this quiz gives you neither a picture of the character nor a description of qualities/personality traits. (I had to go searching for my own picture.) I would sure like to know which qualities I share with Gimli (or what qualities the test's algorythimic creator believes that I share with Gimli).

Oddly enough, Gimli is my favorite character. I will always believe that Peter Jackson performed an injustice by making Gimli the comic relief in the last two films, but there you have it. No-one asked me for my input.

I, for one, am proud to be connected in some small, insignificant, ridiculous way with such a stalwart hero.

"Baruk Khazââd! Khazââd ai-mêênu!"
('Axes of the Dwarves! The Dwarves are upon you!')

Which Character?

Yoda: A venerated sage with vast power and knowledge, you gently guide forces around you while serving as a champion of the light.

Judge me by my size, do you? And well you should not - for my ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us, and binds us. Luminescent beings are we, not this crude matter! You must feel the Force around you, everywhere.

Yoda is a is a character in the Star Wars universe. More Yoda information is available at the Star Wars Databank.

Quote of the Day -- June 10, 2009

Seems, madam! Nay, it is; I know not ‘seems.’
’Tis not alone my inky cloak, good mother,
Nor customary suits of solemn black,
Nor windy suspiration of forc’d breath,
No, nor the fruitful river in the eye,
Nor the dejected haviour of the visage,
Together with all forms, modes, shows of grief,
That can denote me truly; these indeed seem,
For they are actions that a man might play:
But I have that within which passeth show;
These but the trappings and the suits of woe.
William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, Act I, Scene ii.

And to think that at one point in my life I thought this was detestable drivel. As I think I have stated here before, I will be forever grateful to a High School teacher, and later two Professors, that instilled in me a love for Shakespeare.

Now, I cannot understand how anyone cannot read this and not say, "wow."

I am trying to instill in my own children a love of Shakespeare early in their lives. It seems to be working, too. I am grateful and hopeful; I see so many others, even within my own extended family (nieces, nephews, cousins) who simply turn up their nose at Shakespeare but drool over the latest from JK Rowling, Danielle Steele, or [shudder] Nora Roberts Stephenie Meyer. And that's when they can even be bothered to pick up a book at all.

Thank you, public education. Well done. Yet another reason to Home School.

Needless to say, when I read or hear something like this passage, I am embarrassed to even pick up a pen to put to paper. Oh that my best could someday equal The Bard's worst.

Finally, I wonder: am I the only one that reads this (and reads it aloud) for fun? I hope not.

OK. I am a nerd.

Which Fantasy Author Am I?

Took this test: HERE.

Urg. Not pleased with the results. Too late to go into it tonight, though. More thoughts later....

Your result for Which fantasy writer are you?...

China Miéville (b. 1972)

7 High-Brow, 3 Violent, -3 Experimental and -31 Cynical!

Congratulations! You are High-Brow, Violent, Traditional and Romantic! These concepts are defined below.

China Miéville writes in the British fantasy tradition of authors like Mervyn Peake and Michael Moorcock, a tradition which is a little darker than the Tolkien kind, but Miéville is also a great renewer, as he has taken care to challenge, for example, race-related (or, to be exact, species-related) stereotypes in fantasy. His great breakthrough came with the award-winning novel Perdido Street Station (2000), which is set in the sprawling city of New Crobuzon in the secondary world Bas-Lag. Apart from its urban setting, Perdido Street Station also differ from Tolkien-style fantasy by taking place in an era reminiscent of the Victorian age rather than the typical quasi-medieval setting of so-called high fantasy. This means that Miéville has the opportunity to explore his socialist beliefs in a fantasy environment, even if both Perdido Street Station and its two sequels also feature monsters, adventures and such.

Setting his book in a rather dictatorical society and occasionally spinning his sories around resistance against an oppressive government means that Miéville's books sometimes contain rather horrible violence, made all the scarier because it's often conducted legally by a ruling government. This also makes the boks rather romantic; although the struggle is difficult, the struggle continues and whether you are a socialist like Miéville or not, it's easy to sympathize with the message that the world can be changed for the better. It should also be pointed out that although Miéville is often inventive and has a love for spicing up his prose with archaic words, his books are, narratively speaking, traditional adventure stories. Actually, Miéville has made a point of taking genres such as the pirate story and the Western story and retelling them in a fantasy environment.

Still, Miéville has brought fantasy to new literary heights and can be said to represent hope for the genre's future.

You are also a lot like Michael Moorcock.

If you want something more gentle, try Susan Cooper.

If you'd like a challenge, try your exact opposite, Orson Scott Card.

Your score

This is how to interpret your score: Your attitudes have been measured on four different scales, called 1) High-Brow vs. Low-Brow, 2) Violent vs. Peaceful, 3) Experimental vs. Traditional and 4) Cynical vs. Romantic. Imagine that when you were born, you were in a state of innocence, a tabula rasa who would have scored zero on each scale. Since then, a number of circumstances (including genetical, cultural and environmental factors) have pushed you towards either end of these scales. If you're at 45 or -45 you would be almost entirely cynical, low-brow or whatever. The closer to zero you are, the less extreme your attitude. However, you should always be more of either (eg more romantic than cynical). Please note that even though High-Brow, Violent, Experimental and Cynical have positive numbers (1 through 45) and their opposites negative numbers (-1 through -45), this doesn't mean that either quality is better. All attitudes have their positive and negative sides, as explained below.

High-Brow vs. Low-Brow

You received 7 points, making you more High-Brow than Low-Brow. Being high-browed in this context refers to being more fascinated with the sort of art that critics and scholars tend to favour, rather than the best-selling kind. At their best, high-brows are cultured, able to appreciate the finer nuances of literature and not content with simplifications. At their worst they are, well, snobs.

Violent vs. Peaceful

You received 3 points, making you more Violent than Peaceful. Please note that violent in this context does not mean that you, personally, are prone to violence. This scale is a measurement of a) if you are tolerant to violence in fiction and b) whether you see violence as a means that can be used to achieve a good end. If you are, and you do, then you are violent as defined here. At their best, violent people are the heroes who don't hesitate to stop the villain threatening innocents by means of a good kick. At their worst, they are the villains themselves.

Experimental vs. Traditional

You received -3 points, making you more Traditional than Experimental. Your position on this scale indicates if you're more likely to seek out the new and unexpected or if you are more comfortable with the familiar, especially in regards to culture. Note that traditional as defined here does not equal conservative, in the political sense. At their best, traditional people don't change winning concepts, favouring storytelling over empty poses. At their worst, they are somewhat narrow-minded.

Cynical vs. Romantic

You received -31 points, making you more Romantic than Cynical. Your position on this scale indicates if you are more likely to be wary, suspicious and skeptical to people around you and the world at large, or if you are more likely to believe in grand schemes, happy endings and the basic goodness of humankind. It is by far the most vaguely defined scale, which is why you'll find the sentence "you are also a lot like x" above. If you feel that your position on this scale is wrong, then you are probably more like author x. At their best, romantic people are optimistic, willing to work for a good cause and inspiring to their peers. At their worst, they are easily fooled and too easily lead.

Author picture by the talented artist "Molosovsky". Visit http://www.flickr.com/people/25360041@N06/ for more!

Take Which fantasy writer are you? at HelloQuizzy

NaNoWriMo 2008 - Update 2

Well, never let it be said that life cannot or will not intervene. I knew that November was going to be bad: busy bad, hectic bad, crazed bad. Here I am not even one-half way through and life has intervened whenever possible.

And my NaNoWriMo work is suffering for it.

As of bedtime last night (12:45 a.m. to be exact) I now find myself 7,716 words off-pace.

That's right. Just over four-and-one-half days behind (4.63--again, to be exact).

Life conspires to intervene. I thought I had planned well enough this year, even considering everything else going on in my life.

This is called, so I am told, "Adulthood."

Somehow, though, sitting at a desk wrangling legal issues through my brain all day makes me sufficiently tired and brain-deadened that when I arrive home I want nothing to do with the evil laptop sitting before me.

That's right. Evil.

EEEEEEE-vil. As in the froo-its of the Devil. (Thank you, Mike Myers.)

The blinking cursor mocks me.

The television goes on; I surf through ten channels of broadcast television. Nothing on. I surf through them again. And again. And again.

That's when my LW, who is also WriMo-ing, screams in frustration and tells me to turn off the television and write. She wants to inspire me, you know.

Of course, she's also 4,417 words ahead of me.

I try to read. Nothing satisfies; neither the sci-fi nor the fantasy novels on my nightstand interest me. The same with the biography. Ditto the history book. I even try the Scriptures...and find myself wondering how I could use some of the things I am reading and translate them into my novel.

That's not the best way to read the Scriptures, by the way. It is also not the best way or most conducive way to get anything out of them, learn from them, or feel the Spirit, necessarily.

That's when I start drinking: Soda, cola, water, lemonade, milk. Things of that nature. A few potato chips or peanuts to keep awake. Ultimately, I drag myself off to bed having written nothing.

Then there's the self-imposed guilt the next day. I think, "Where in my day could I steal an hour to pound out 1,000 words or so?" I feel guilty doing any work, thinking about how I could put that time to use on my NaNoWriMo word count.

Heck. I feel guilty even while writing this blog.

But life happens. Unfortunately, and despite our best laid plans. (Again, see "adulthood".)

(Now.... If I postponed two client meetings today until tomorrow, that's two hours I could have, all to myself....) Ahem. [cough cough]

UPDATE:
By the way, am I the only one that remembers the movie from which I borrowed the above picture? If anyone else can come up with the name of the movie, I would sincerely love to know about it, especially if you have actually seen the movie in question.

I think I am the only one of my friends that ever saw it, let alone enjoyed it. Talk about a movie geek. Sheesh.

Anyway, let me know if you know.

--Now back to working on my novel pleading.

UPDATE #2:

This is, by the way, 560 words that could have gone toward my NaNoWriMo. NOW who feels guilty, Hmmm?

Yep. Exactly.That's what I thought.

No one but me.

Wordles

What are Wordles? From the website:

Wordle is a toy for generating “word clouds” from text that you provide. The clouds give greater prominence to words that appear more frequently in the source text. You can tweak your clouds with different fonts, layouts, and color schemes.

Apparently, this is the footprint my Blogging has left on the world through October 2008, courtesy of wordle.net:


h/t: LDS Media Talk

NaNoWriMo 2008

Well, it's that time of year again.

I'm starting to sharpen pencils like a madman. I'm ordering my bottles of fountain pen ink. I'm stacking up ream after ream of collegiate ruled paper.

It's NaNoWriMo time again!

What is NaNoWriMo, you ask?

National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.

Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

I've tried it twice, and both times been thwarted by either illness or real life. I'm bound and determined to do it this year.

Of course, I say that every year, and then peter out sometime around Thanksgiving, telling myself that I'll devote every waking minute over Thanksgiving break to writing and getting caught up on my word totals.

How well does that work out, do you think?

Yeah, you'd be right....

But this year, I'm gonna do it.

Want to join me? Head on over to www.nanowrimo.org and register.

Validated yet again....

Once again I have had my suspicions confirmed.

How White and Nerdy Are You?

I just take issue with their result of ONLY 62%, however.

Go ahead. Take the test yourself.... You know you want to....

A New Lamp

I need a new lamp for my office desk. My brass-and-green-shade bankers' lamp from Law School has finally given up the ghost, I'm afraid.

This is what I want to get for a replacement:
They have aliens in different poses for the interior, and also feature a human abductee instead of the cow.

But what do you think? How could you NOT trust an attorney with this on his desk?

Not only that, but it's Politically Correct: These are, after all, illegal aliens taking cows that Americans just don't want. How can they be bad?

Arrrrrr!!!!!

Ahoy, me hearties!

It be me pleasure to wish ye all fair skies and smooth seas on this fine an' rousin' International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

I be Mad James Flint.
Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.

Every pirate be a wee bit addled. I, though, be more than just a wee bit. Like the rock flint, I be hard and sharp; but, also like flint, I be easilty chipped, and sparky.

Me first mate, the mangy bilgerat, who be marooned in the Lake of Salt, told me of this day last year. His entire jollyboat law office not only spoke as buccaneers all day, but they also dressed up. Aye, lawyers dressed as pirates--how can ye tell who be who?

So this year I got me own Letters of Marque: me own office be doin' the same. We'll be havin' good grog an' fine grub. We be the crew of the Wanderin' Barnacle, the finest ship that e'er sailed the briny deep! E'en th' good Cap'n be joinin' in th' fun! Who knew th' ol' sea dog had it in 'im?

Maybe next year we'll go on the account an' buckle our swashes. It may all rest on how shipshape we be after the sun sets o'er the sea. We may all be kissin' the gunner's daughter once we reach five bells.

Now see t'yer day smartly, an' mind what ol' Jack Flint tells ye: Mad I my be, but I ain't no rum shark bait.

Splice the mainbrace and swab the poopdeck, I be ready to count me swag!

Arrr!!!!!!!

H/T: leehansen.com for the Jolly Roger image.

Font Geek

I am a font-collecting geek. I will freely admit it.

I have disk upon disk of fonts. Stacks of them. I've maxed out a couple of old hard drives simply with fonts.

I even tried once to install WordPerfect with all the fonts available on the install drive. (Just don't tell anyone....)

Yeah...not a good idea unless you want your computer to run really really slow. I haven't tried it in a while, so I do not know if it was just the speed of my old machine.

Anyway, I got all geeked out when I saw this test.

Here are my results:

You Are Courier New

You have a deep appreciation for tradition and history. You don't eschew modernity, but you do have a deep reverence for the past. You are very literate. It's likely you enjoy writing and reading. Some people may feel you're a bit cold, but you just have high standards for who you hang out with.

What Font Are You?

I'm a little surprised at how accurately it pegged me. However, I wish to state for the record how I feel about Courier New: I only use it to prepare my Sunday School lesson notes, because it's easily legible from a distance. It's not my least favorite font, but it's not on my list of favorites either. In fact, I'm leaning toward "dislike" of the font in general.

The rest of it though is amazingly spot-on.