Showing posts with label liberty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label liberty. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Constructive Thoughts: What Matters Most

This morning my Facebook page blew up. I am sure your page did as well.

The vitriol I have seen since the concession and victory speeches last night has been staggering.

Actually, no. Saddening is a much better description.

I could weep and wail and gnash teeth about things that happened in various races in various places. I would suspect that any 50% of the people in the country could do the same thing. Some of what happened actually makes me a bit less proud to be an American. Honestly.

But what makes me really regret being an American is the vitriol. Being lumped in with that crowd is embarrassing. Truly. As I have pondered my situation and the situation of my fellow countrymen and women, I was prompted to re-read something. When I did, I felt both hope and humility enter my heart and mind.

I want to share with you the following words, said stronger and more eloquently than I could say them.
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Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. . . .

Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows. . . . Our realization of what is most important in life goes hand in hand with gratitude for our blessings. . . .

“For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift.” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:33)

 . . .

Despite the changes which come into our lives and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days—as much as we can—with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and in deed.

In closing, I pray that all of us will reflect gratitude for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. His glorious gospel provides answers to life’s greatest questions: Where did we come from? Why are we here? Where does my spirit go when I die?

He taught us how to pray. He taught us how to serve. He taught us how to live. His life is a legacy of love. The sick He healed; the downtrodden He lifted; the sinner He saved.

The time came when He stood alone. Some Apostles doubted; one betrayed Him. The Roman soldiers pierced His side. The angry mob took His life. There yet rings from Golgotha’s hill His compassionate words, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34.) . . . Let us follow Him. Let us emulate His example. Let us obey His word. By so doing, we give to Him the divine gift of gratitude.

Brothers and sisters, my sincere prayer is that we may adapt to the changes in our lives, that we may realize what is most important, that we may express our gratitude always and thus find joy in the journey. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

~Thomas S. Monson, Finding Joy In The Journey, Ensign, Nov. 2008. (Emphasis added.)
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That would be my prayer as well, for all of my friends and readers... not just today, but every day, let us pause and consider what matters most in each of our lives and let us express gratitude to He who has given us what we have.

I wish to express my humble gratitude to my Father in Heaven for the many blessings that I have and continue to receive from His hands. I also wish to say "thank you" to my friends, family, and readers for all you have brought and continue to bring to my life.

God bless you all, and God bless the United States of America.

Sunday, July 03, 2011

Independence Day

A Happy Independence Day to all and sundry citizens of the United States of America!

Notice I do not say "Fourth of July." Everyone has a fourth of July. Even Great Britain.

And if you do not understand why I single out Great Britain, you are (unfortunately and sadly) in good company, with approximately 25% of the citizens of the US of A. At least according to a recent poll.

May you be safe in your revels. Try not to blow off any body parts (I speak from personal experience as a childhood friend nearly blew his hand off with fireworks. I myself burned myself quite badly with a sparkler I thought was spent; I learned differently when a piece fell on my sandal-clad foot and badly burned two toes.)

May you remember not just our freedoms, rights, and gifts we enjoy as citizens, but also those who fought (and those who died) for the defense of the US of A and those freedoms, rights, and gifts. Take some time in the next 24 hours to read about those freedoms, rights, and gifts; there are plenty of places.... Try here for example.

May you remember who put their lives on the line some 235 years ago, committing treason to do so, and signed a document hitherto unknown in the history of our world. These brave men...these heroes...their names are as follows:
Delaware
•George Read •Caesar Rodney •Thomas McKean

Pennsylvania
•George Clymer •Benjamin Franklin •Robert Morris •John Morton •Benjamin Rush •George Ross •James Smith •James Wilson •George Taylor

Massachusetts
•John Adams •Samuel Adams •John Hancock •Robert Treat Paine •Elbridge Gerry

New Hampshire
• Josiah Bartlett •William Whipple •Matthew Thornton

Rhode Island
•Stephen Hopkins •William Ellery

New York
•Lewis Morris •Philip Livingston •Francis Lewis •William Floyd

Georgia
•Button Gwinnett •Lyman Hall •George Walton

Virginia
•Richard Henry Lee •Francis Lightfoot Lee •Carter Braxton •Benjamin Harrison •Thomas Jefferson •George Wythe •Thomas Nelson, Jr.

North Carolina
•William Hooper •John Penn •Joseph Hewes

South Carolina
•Edward Rutledge •Arthur Middleton •Thomas Lynch, Jr. •Thomas Heyward, Jr.

New Jersey
•Abraham Clark •John Hart •Francis Hopkinson •Richard Stockton •John Witherspoon

Connecticut
•Samuel Huntington •Roger Sherman •William Williams •Oliver Wolcott

Maryland
•Charles Carroll •Samuel Chase •Thomas Stone •William Paca

In fact, take some time and learn about these heroes. This site is a good place to start.

But you should not stop there. Remember the document itself. That piece of parchment that declared thirteen colonies' independence from a distant king. Join me, my LW, and the Horde as we read the words together first thing tomorrow morning. These are words, along with the Constitution, that should never be forgotten.

Never.

With a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, I pledge to these principles, my Life, my Fortune, and my sacred Honor.

Happy Independence Day.... A Happy Birthday to the Greatest Country on Earth. We may have some problems, but we are a darn sight better than the alternatives.

And as you prepare to label me a "jingoist," let me just say: go right ahead. That is your right to believe and speak as you wish.

That is all part of what we are celebrating.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Road Signs: Detour

Over at The Spirit of the Law, there is a new post by yours truly. As you may remember, I am one of the moderators of the site, albeit a long-dormant moderator. I promised the guys over there I would not be too free with cross-posting. However, I feel strongly about this one, so I must beg their indulgence. I would also ask that you take a trip over there if you are so inclined to read the comments that I am sure this post will ignite.

The post itself is called Freedom is Refreshing. And it goes a little something like this:

Freedom.

It is like 7-Up for the soul.

Yeah... its lemon-lime (cannot say lymon, because that is Sprite, after all) effervesence that makes your nose tickle when you take that first drink? That is the feeling of freedom.

I am talking about all kinds of freedom.

The freedom to stand up on a soapbox in a park and proudly proclaim your beliefs without worrying about being arrested (so long as you are not inciting violence).

The freedom to carry your Beretta where- and whenever (nearly) you want to do so.
(Aside: For the record, that is "Beretta" not "Baretta": it is difficult to carry a private investigator wherever you go, let alone his cockatoo 'Fred.').

The freedom to vote for whomever you wish without fear of reprisal or intimidation.

The freedom to read, or write, the books you want without oppression or censorship.

The freedom to be able to worship how, where, and when you desire.

Except in the so-called Bloggernacle, apparently.

Unfortunately, it is an all-too-common practice among supposedly observant Latter-day Saint blog-hosts/-moderators to moderate, censor, and yes, even stifle debate. That is to say, debate against the ideas they believe and support. They willingly moderate and hold posts, preparing and scripting their responses. And then, when they feel they are losing or have lost the argument, shut down the comments altogether. Who knows why they do it: fear? hatred? shame? I do not claim to know. All I know is that, when faced with a little opposition, they inevitably suddenly up and walk away home, taking their baseball with them, bragging to everybody how they won the game.... Of course, it was their ball, and when they leave, how can you argue with them that they won the game?

That is one reason I am proud to be a member of this blog. The Spirit of The Law, regardless of how vitriolic some of us moderators become, it is in defense of our beliefs, beliefs that are under common and vile attacks elsewhere in the supposedly observant and routinely hypocritical LDS Bloggernacle. A place where the Brethren of the Church have urged members to bear our testimonies of the Living Christ and of the truthfulness of His Gospel, and the Restoration of the Gospel in the Latter-days. A place where, all too often, those testimonies are belittled and challenged by those who think that those Brethren--Brethren they supposedly sustain, by the way--are out-dated in their thinking, that they "just don't understand," or even worse, bigots and/or deranged.

Yes, this is the state of a large portion of the "Bloggernacle." It is a hostile place out there. Heck, sometimes it is a hostile place here, too. None of us is perfect, after all.

But for those of you who disagree with the moderators of this site, remember this: at least here, you -- a dissenter -- you get a hearing. I am not sure that I can remember an instance of any of the moderators shutting down argument or locking up a thread. Here, we understand Agency; we may not agree with your choice, or your perspective, or your comments, but you are free to make your argument.

For this, I say 'thank you' to my fellow moderators. I can feel my nose tickling.

And that is Freedom.

Friday, November 05, 2010

Gaming Stuff for the Troops

Today I came across a terrific opportunity to help support the Troops.

Jason, a.k.a. The Action Point, is a combat veteran and an RPG Gamer. He is currently in the Inactive Ready Reserves, but is working as a contractor helping train the troops stationed at the Bagram Air Force Base in Afganistan on various vehicles--operation, repair, safety, efficiency, etc.

He is attempting to put together an organization to help similarly-minded troops have access to RPG gaming while overseas. In his words, he is "doing what I wish there had been someone to do when I was still in uniform, but never had the time or resources to do" himself.

The movement is picking up steam, largely from word-of-mouth. Even the "mighty" Wizards of the Coast have agreed to help, donating game materials from their Fourth Edition "Essentials" line of Dungeons & Dragons.

However, a lot of the "basics" still need to be supplied: miniatures, dice, game mats, etc.

If you go here: Bagram AFB Gaming Community you can read more about the movement to provide gaming supplies to our troops, including direct links to purchase said supplies.

To all my readers: please consider supporting the Bagram AFB Gaming Community. It does not matter whether you are a Gamer or not, it is a way for you to help support those troops who are, regardless of your political views, out there giving of their time, energy, and even their lives all the while living under Old Glory and fighting for Liberty. Above all, they are heroes themselves who deserve a little bit of escapism in their lives. I know several, and have lost friends and relatives in the cause.

Please: check out the above link for more information, or head over to THIS wishlist at Amazon.com to make a purchase and donation to the cause.

Yeah. I may be a geek. But I love the troops and think this is a terrific cause. Of course, nearly ANY opportunity to support our troops is a terrific cause.

Monday, March 01, 2010

I am an American.

Unfortunately, calling yourself an American has become a dirty word. You are urged to become, and praised for your wisdom and tolerance, if you call yourself a "citizen of the world" or something similarly politically correct. If you profess to be an American, you are usually called "jingoist," "rascist," "intolerant," "war-monger," "imperalist," and any of a host of other labels.

I dislike labels. Nearly all kinds. When I walk out of a 7-11 or a Circle K with a bottle of water, the label is off before I hit the car. I peel the mailing labels off my magazine subscriptions on the way back from the mailbox.

I will admit to using labels, though. Sometimes in frustration. Sometimes it is necessary to quickly portray to another person a specific stance or outlook that you may share. Sometimes it is out of frustration, I will admit it: sometimes I am a bit of a hypocrite on the issue. But I will also admit -- and it must be acknowledged -- that not everyone shares the same view or definition of these labels. Neither is it likely that any specific label fully covers or describes any one individual.

Case in point: I consider myself to be politically conservative. Let me be clear: I am not a Republican. However, a friend of mine took me to task this weekend because I commented to him how much I appreciated a neighbor of ours being unwilling to sell a parcel adjoining the neighbor’s home to a developer who was planning on putting in an apartment building. I commented that “a little open space is nice in the area” and “do we really need more apartments in the neighborhood?” I was the immediate recipient of scorn and disbelief: “I thought you called yourself a Conservative! Any true Conservative would be in favor of allowing the landowner to do with his property whatever he wishes; and any true Capitalist, like myself, would want to see him do something productive with the land. He should have sold it for apartment buildings, because he could have gotten a lot of money for it. Either that or he should rent it out for a neighborhood gardening co-op, or maybe use it as a pumpkin patch and Christmas Tree lot in the fall and winter. He could make a load of cash from that little piece of property.”

That is when I realized: I may be a Conservative, and I call myself a Capitalist and a lover of the free-market system. I agree with my friend: the property owner should be allowed to do whatever he wishes with that property and make as much money from the land as the market will bear. But there’s a bit of the cowboy in me. That part of me loves looking out from the side of an afternoon campfire over a beautiful, undeveloped meadow filled with wild flowers, while a mountain with no man-made improvements or construction towers towers over it all as a backdrop. No sounds of aircraft or vehicular traffic. Song birds, deer, even the occasional cougar: they all pass through unmolested. Nothing but clear mountain air between me and heaven. On second thought, let me change that: This is Heaven.

I shop at Wal-Mart, Home Depot, and 7-11. I like making money and I like spending money. I like buying a new hat and new boots. But that cowboy winces every time he drives down the street and sees another piece of land -- land that was part of a family farm fifty years ago -- being developed into duplexes or apartments. Green space torn up and thrown away in the name of cookie-cutter crap-quality so-called town homes. (Glorified apartments or dorm rooms, if you ask me. They are ugly and of questionable value.)

That’s why I am re-committing myself to re-labeling myself. Or maybe you can call it “un-labeling.” I am not a Republican or Democrat. I am not a Conservative or a Liberal. I am not a Capitalist, Socialist, Marxist, or any other such label.

In my opinion, I am what we all, ideally, should be.

I am an American.

We are all Americans.

We should all start acting like it, too.

Sometimes, like today, I think that there is too much focus on politics and political views.

Last week I got into a discussion of health care with a good friend of mine, who has decidedly liberal-slanted views. He actually told me, “You are a conservative I can actually talk to, because you are reasonable and have well-thought out ideas rather than just spouting off talking points.” He then proceeded to excoriate Tea Partiers, Glenn Beck, the Drudge Report, and anyone else who dares question any piece of Obama’s policies using the same language used by Olbermann, MSNBC, the Daily Kos, Nancy Pelosi, et al.

Talking points. We are all guilty of using them from time to time. Fundamentally, it is difficult to get away from them. But maybe they should be used as a springboard to our own thoughts and positions on a given subject, rather than used verbatim. Or maybe, just maybe, we should refrain from using them at all, stop all the arguing, and just go ahead and fix what is wrong with our beloved country.

Most of the people -- the real people -- in the country agree that there are serious problems. And most of the real people agree on what needs to be done to fix the problems. It is the zombies in the country that do not understand. These are the people who change their positions with their underwear, that cater to the elite, who believe (as does Senator Hatch, for example) that their constituents are not smart enough to understand what it is they do, and that’s why they need their Senators. These are the ones that are out of touch with the real people.

They are the walking undead.

Which is, I suppose, better than being a Progresstitute.

But I am an American.

We are all Americans.

Let’s start acting like it, and let’s get our country back. The one that we’re all proud of; the one that we all remember being so great. Let’s get it done and take her back.

Oh yeah.... the cowboy in me says, “Giddy up.”

(Cross-posted at Spirit of the Law.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Goodbye to mormonblogs

Recently (as in, this morning) a group of conservative-minded individuals who run The Spirit of the Law was removed and banned by the administrator of mormonblogs, a blogroll with supposedly LDS-oriented leanings.

The reason given was because of constant "screeds" against the sitting, duly-elected President of the United States.

Wow.

Essentially the same thing that those on the left did for the past eight straight years against the sitting, duly-elected President of the United States.

Back then, it was claimed to be patriotism. Now, apparently, it is un-Christlike.

The other reason is that the "Spirit of the Law"vians supposedly claim those who disagree with them are "unworthy" members. (Of course, the fact that if this claim is ever made, it is after the name-calling has already started from the other side.)

I am, frankly, amazed at the narrow-mindedness from a blogroll that applauds open-mindedness.

I suppose I should not be too surprised, however. In the past, I have considered asking for my blog to be taken from the mormonblogs blogroll because I have not really been wanting to be associated with some of the more common blogs on that site.

Now I am considering it again. To ban that blog for fairly reasoned, although sometimes overly-passionate, question-and-answer commentary is amazing. Especially considering the screeds I have read concerning George W. Bush prior to the election, the ramapant militant feminism, the (apparently) commonly-held ideals by many of the bloggers on the blogroll that you should not agree with the Prophet or the Brethren on anything (regardless of whether you have prayed about it or not) because that is simply blind obedience....

Shall I go on?

The common, popular blogs all use fairly reasoned, although sometimes overly-passionate question-and-answer commentary. I have frequently seen some of these blogs, or their readers, question the worthiness, or spirituality of anyone who "tows the party line."

It appears that, to be listed on Mormonblogs, it is OK to question the Gospel, the Prophet, and the US President so long as you disagree, disagree, and agree respectively. It is OK to question and drip venom, so long as it is against the approved targets. Politics is OK to discuss, so long as you have the approved politics.

That kind of "open-mindedness" is A-OK in their book. Any others need not apply.

(I should not paint with such a broad brush, I guess. There are a few harmless blogs that actually attempt to spread the Gospel, or a missionary message, and for those I am grateful. It is simply too bad they are swallowed up in the dank morass made by the others. There is a reason I have not visited for months and intend not to visit the blogroll any longer.)

Of course, if the "banning" of the website gets rid of some of the small number of lunatics (who are, I suspect, the ones who have complained to Ms. Angela at the blogroll) then maybe it is a good thing. I suspect several of them were simply using multiple aliases to seem to be a larger and more vocal group. I recommend all of my readers who are so-inclined to check out The Spirit of the Law and make up their own minds.

I had considered requesting removal of my blog in the past. But nope. I am no longer considering it.

It has been done. Apparently freedom of speech only slants one way on mormonblogs.

Good luck with your own favorite screeds, Angela. Hopefully they will keep you warm at night.

No hard feelings.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Quote of the Day -- August 20, 2009

“I am sick and tired of people who say that if you debate and you disagree with this administration somehow you’re not patriotic. We should stand up and say we are Americans and we have a right to debate and disagree with any administration.”
Sen. Hilary Rodham Clinton (D. NY)
I am sorry, but for 7+ years I decried the Republican's attempts to smackdown any and all who criticized President Bush, the war, etc. I may not have agreed with all of what was said, but I recognized and defended their right to say it.

The same holds true with the current criticism of the current administration.

At least it should.

But we all know it does not hold true. And if you say differently, while I recognize your right to say it, you are either lying, deluded, or misinformed.

Yeah. It's a harsh thing to say.

But look around. Show me where all those people were screaming about how patriotic were their anti-war commentaries, how "truly" American were their anti-American screeds. Where are they? Most of them are now decrying any who disagree with the President as anti-American, stupid, liars, "corporate shills," or worse.

If you stood up for 7 years screaming vitriol about Bush being a Nazi -- or Hitler himself -- and claimed a First Amendment right to do so, I am not telling you to shut your mouth. I am simply saying that you had darn well better acknowledge the same right for others now.

Otherwise, you're simply a hypocrite.

And you look really stupid, too.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Quote of the Day -- August 19, 2009

They hate us with every fiber of their existence. We love freedom. We love independence -- to feel, to question, to resist oppression. To them, it's an alien way of existing they will never accept."
Adama, commander of the Battlestar "Galactica"
A deep and salient thought from the one and true Commander Adama regarding the reasons why the Cylons wish the subjugation and/or destruction of the human race. (Aside: From the original series, of course. Lorne Greene could whup Edward Olmos' behind with one arm tied behind his back any day of the week and twice on Saturdays.)

Bonus Quotes of the Day:
"Ma'am, trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing it." -- Rep. Barney Frank (D. Mass.), 2009.

"Drowning out opposing views is simply un-American.” -- Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D. Cal.), 2009.

"The Republicans, they have no interest in this Bill. They’re using the 1994 playbook. Let’s kill the bill and kill the president ... or, kill the president’s term. Although there are sort of angry people out there I get very nervous about this stuff. I don’t like it at all." -- Howard Dean (Nobody), 2009.

And this, I think, proves a fitting conclusion to today's post: A quote from our own Imperious Leader President:

"I don't want the folks who created the mess to do a lot of talking. I want them to get out of the way so we can clean up the mess." -- Pres. Barack Hussein Obama, 2009.

By your command... over my dead body.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
As far as I can tell, this Amendment is not party-specific.

So get your red-eyed, jack-booted robots SEIU/ACORN thugs out of my way and out of my countrymen's way and let us exercise our freedom.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Quote of the Day -- August 13, 2009

The accumulation of all powers, legislative, executive, and judiciary, in the same hands, whether of one, a few, or many, and whether hereditary, self-appointed, or elective, may justly be pronounced the very definition of tyranny.
The Federalist, Number 47
It was true enough for the Republicans.

It is true enough for the Democrats.

No wonder they are all so scared of the Founders' words.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Rest in Peace, America

We lost two entertainment icons last week. Farrah and Michael. May they rest in peace.

America may be history as well. But more on that in a moment.

The loss of any human life is, at its most basic, a tragedy. There is some tragedy in how these two lived their lives, but I am not going to belabor that or lessen the impact their deaths have had on their families. Whatever you think of them, they were human beings, plain and simple.

What I will do, however, is excoriate the mainstream media for forcing it down our throats, non-stop. EVERYTHING on cable programming yesterday afternoon was about the death of Michael Jackson. Everything. I think I even saw him on a Beverly Hillbillies re-run, although I may be mistaken on that point.

I had to literally search for something -- anything -- that discussed the outcome of the vote on the biggest tax attack perpetrated upon the American People. I mean, of course, the so-called cap and trade "HR.2454: Title: To create clean energy jobs, achieve energy independence, reduce global warming pollution and transition to a clean energy economy.

Politically-correct Global Warming crap.

Even the local news spent more time trying to link Michael Jackson's life, somehow, however tenuously, to our little town than they did reporting on how our representatives voted on the cap and tax scheme.

You see, the mainstream media and the Washington insiders did not want the American people to focus on this bill. They knew that there was grave danger to the bill if the people really stood up and took notice.

So what did they do?

What do you do when you take a young toddler to get his or her picture taken? What do you do in church when the same child starts to fuss because you've taken something away from him or her?

You distract them.

You use the squeaky duck toy. You jingle your bright, shiny keys in front of them. Anything to get them to forget the camera or the fragile book you want to get away from their grasp.

At first, I believed that South Carolina Governor Sanford's saga was the shiny thing. After all, why make such a big deal over a person -- even though a Governor -- disappearing to hike in the mountains? I think I would do the same thing if I were in public office: just disappear and be by myself. I did not blame him in the least. But remember how the media kept harping and harping on how horrible it was that he would just "disappear"?

The jingling had started.

Then it was revealed he'd actually been in Argentina, not the Appalachian Trail. Even then, I must say, I was still on his side.

The jingling got louder.

Then it was revealed that the married Governor had left his wife at home and traveled to meet up with his Argentinian girlfriend. Whoops. I jumped off his bandwagon at that point. But the media kept harping and harping, louder and louder.

I think at some point I may have seen a big squeaking bunny toy on the lecturn next to Governor Sanford. Honest.

He looked a bit like Harvey, actually.

I don't blame the criticism of the Governor on this issue. After all, your wife should be the most important part of your life. If you're willing to cheat on that, if your wife means as little to you as that, what are your constituents? "Governor" is just a job, after all is said and done. If I was a South Carolinian, I would feel abused and cheated upon. I would want him run out of the Capitol on a rail.

I still believe that he was the intended "shiny thing." It was all a bit too convenient, timing-wise.

But can you tell me any man in America more grateful at the passing of Michael Jackson? Really? OK, granted, it's a pretty tactless thing to say or think.... But Michael's death (and to a much lesser extent Farrah's death) knocked Sanford right off the front page.

Jingle. Jingle. Look at the shiny keys, Little Darlings.

Unfortunately it appears as the deaths of these two human beings has become the latest "shiny thing" held up and jingled in front of the public to distract them from the more important things in life.

Come to think of it, we lost an "infotainment" icon this morning as well. Mr. Billy Mays. You may not know his name (I did not) -- after all, he's just an infomercial frontman -- but you'll remember him as the pitchman for Oxi-Clean and OrangeGlo, the guy with the big beard and loud, annoying voice. Rest in peace, Billy.

But take notice: an awful lot of attention is being paid to his passing. He was the pitchman for cleaning products in infomercials, for crying out loud. No disrespect intended for the newly-departed, but does he really warrant the barrage of coverage his death is getting? What accounts for this press coverage?

In my opinion, it's simple: the American Sheeple need first to be distracted from the passage of the cap-and-trade fiasco. They do not want you to know about the 300-page amendment that was added to the bill at the last minute.

They do not want you to know that, under this bill, if you sell your house, an environmental group is required to come out and "rate" your house, and you will not be allowed to sell your house until you "modernize" your appliances and have a certified "green" home. Liberty? You rest in peace, will you?

Jingle. Jingle. Jingle.

I am willing to bet that the conspiracy-theorists out there are having a field day. Michael and Billy both die under strange and still-unexplained circumstances? Anyone see the Men in Black around their homes?

Jingle. Jingle. Jingle, JINGLE.

I will be willing to bet there is more -- much more -- coming down the pike that will require further distractions.

What will those distractiosn be? It is anybody's guess at this point.

Rest in peace, Farrah, Michael, and Billy. Rest in peace. At least they do not have to worry about all this any longer. Just rest in peace.

And apparently, I may as well say this while I have my First Amendment right to do so: Rest in peace, America.

At least, the Free America I once knew and loved.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Quote of the Day -- June 2, 2009

"The nation which had once held the creed that greatness is achieved by production, is now told that it is achieved by squalor." -- Ayn Rand

I am currently reading Atlas Shrugged for the first time. Glenn Beck first recommended it to his listeners, oh, about a year ago. It has taken me this long to work it through my reading list.

I would highly recommend it to anyone.

It will scare your socks off.

At times it is closer to reading the news than reading a novel, especially a novel written fifty years ago.

It will show you exactly where we, as a country and as a world, are headed.

I plan on blogging on this a bit later, once I have finished the book. [Aside: do not worry, it should not take too long; I pounded through over 400 pages Sunday night alone. Right now I stand about 220 pages from the end.] Let me simply state the assertion right now and I will revisit it later: Ayn Rand was either prescient or a genius regarding the human, governmental, and societal minds.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Bliss and Embarrassment

Embarrassment because it's been two months since my last post.

Unfortunately, my blogpression is even deeper than I feared and still has me tight in its grasp. I hardly ever even read my favorite blogs any longer. Would that make them my once-favorite blogs? Perhaps technically.

I just don't seem to have much joy anymore. Certainly no bliss.

Don't get me wrong: my LW and the Horde are a joy. Even the noise they make -- as hard as it is on my usually-aching head at the end of the day -- is music. They are my life and, honestly, the only thing that keeps me going some days.

All right, you caught me: most days.

I sat in my car this morning in the parking lot for several long minutes. All I could do was sit there, thinking, dreading the day. It took every ounce of physical strength and mental/emotional will power to leave the car and walk the fifteen steps into the building. Every minute today was torture. Not "Nancy Pelosi woe is me I voted for water-boarding before I voted against it even though it gets results and really is not considered torture compared to what the enemy does to our soldiers" kind of torture. More "being forced to listen to Nancy Pelosi read Maya Angelou poetry" kind of torture or "simply being forced to be in the same room as Nancy Pelosi" kind of torture.

And it is getting worse every day.

So back to my embarrassment: I hope that the readers I have will not have given up hope on me. I am trying; really, I am, despite all appearances.

I say I have little joy. That is not to say I do not have hope: I cannot blame my blogpression on the country's turbo-powered faster-than-light descent into Hell slavery economic destruction Socialism, even though it appears that the vast majority of those in Washington, D.C. -- on both sides of the aisle, mind you -- seem to be using Atlas Shrugged as a game plan for ruining running the country.

[Aside: if you don't understand what I mean, pick yourself up a copy and read it. It's not just fiction anymore. The book's sales have also, in the first four months of 2009, tripled the total sales in all of 2008. Sheep People are waking up out there. Get it. Read it. And ask: "Who is John Galt?"]

No, I am not without hope. Just last month, a Prophet of God, His representative on Earth, Thomas S. Monson, urged the world to be of good cheer and have joy, and to have faith, and to never, never despair.

OK, so, I've already admitted here that I am falling short on good cheer, joy, and despair. Oops.

But I do have faith. And hope. And a loving caring family.

I am striving -- truly I am -- for good cheer, joy, and to remove despair.

I am also striving for my bliss.

"Bliss" has been much on my mind for the past year or so; my buddy JR in Salt Lake has a 50-year-old cousin that I've met a couple times. This is a really down-to-earth man who gave up the practice of law 4 years ago when the bankruptcy laws were changing. He started working with mortgages and saw the writing on the wall LONG before most of the rest of us did. He then dabbled with other areas of the law for a couple of years.

Then, a year ago, he abruptly up and quit to focus on his photography. He's loved photography, as a hobby, since he was in his twenties. JR has sent me examples of his work -- absolutely terrific work. I particularly like his floral work. He did some Olympic photos from the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake that are stunning. One is a composite piece that I haven't seen anywhere else: it shows all the different photo-wrapped buildings, at night, all aglow, with fireworks in the background -- a seamless, amazing piece, even though there is no one spot in the Salt Lake Valley from where he could have taken one photo and show all the buildings.

But I digress.

This is what he does now. My buddy JR says that he's never been happier.

I truly envy him. I have gone to a couple of his shows, not just to give him moral support, not just to revel in the art, but also out of selfishness.

Yep. I think it is an act of selfishness, so that I can feed off that joy of his, to glimpse someone who is truly happy.

I truly cannot imagine anyone in this specialized field of bankruptcy work who is truly happy. No one I know gets any real joy out of it; oh, there are those who seem to enjoy it, but they're always so angry about something and are more confrontational than anything else. I cannot classify that as joy. Even those who are very good at it are certainly not happy or joyful.

Is this what adulthood means? I hope not.

Even when we help someone who truly needs our help, when we truly do Good, those feelings do not last long in the bruising, crushing, daily emotional miasma in which we bankruptcy attorneys live.

I know my friends in Salt Lake, JR and J, are not happy.

I know I'm not.

That's why I'm looking for my "bliss" whenever I have a chance.

I hope one day to find it and throw all this to the wind.

Or, barring that, to hire a junior attorney to do all the work while I manage the firm.

And still hunt for my bliss.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Quote of the Day -- Mar.2, 2009

“Don't try to confuse the issue with half truths and gorilla dust.”
--Bill McNeal, News Radio


There's a lot of half truths and gorilla dust in the media lately. It's kinda causing a resurgence of blogpression, to be honest. Between that and the fact that we have filed more cases this month than any month (per number of days) in the past three years, I have not had time to post much. I regret that and apologize to all of my readers.

Well, that combined with the utter fear to say anything about the O-Messiah for fear of a visit from either the Secret Service or his proposed personal army of brown-shirt enforcers public security forces.

For now, I am still here and everything is all right.

I will be back soon, I promise.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Quote of the Day -- Feb.19, 2009

A government big enough to give you everything you want is also a government big enough to take everything you’ve got.
~Gerald Ford, Address to a joint session of Congress (12 August 1974)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Back to the USSR!

Show me round your snow peaked
mountains way down south
Take me to your daddy's farm
Let me hear your balalaika's ringing out
Come and keep your comrade warm.
I'm back in the U.S.S.R. U.S.S.A. boy
You don't know how lucky you are boys

Welcome to the United Socialist States of America, Comrades!

Where's my tinfoil hat?

Well, the spending bill passed the Senate. Now the House and Senate have to compromise our future our Constitution our country on a bill to present to the President.

I wonder how much more that will cost us? And what will it cost our children?

One of my colleagues e-mailed me and opined: "The Democrats are going to be in a world of hurt in two years."

My response: "Are they? Are there enough people that care about this to make a difference in two years? And what will the country even look like in two years? Will we even have free elections any longer?"

Yes, probably hyperbole. But is it really? What will history really say about this period of time? Or will it say anything at all, because the "victors" will not want the rabble to know the truth, that -- once -- we were free? How many of our freedoms and our liberties will we still have?

And tell me this: How can so many stupid people be leading our government?

Or an even better question: How can we keep electing these same stupid people to positions of leadership in our government?

And because we do, do we deserve what we get?

That's a scary thought. Think about all of the stories in the Scriptures, where a people "get what they deserve." It usually does not end well, does it? Especially in the Book of Mormon, everyt time the people are as prideful and stiffnecked as we Americans seem to have become. Do we really need to be humbled this way? Honestly?

Are we intelligent adults, we voters? Or are we sheep?

Actually . . . maybe you should not answer that. I am scared to know the answer. The Gadiantons are no longer at the door. They're already inside and sitting at the dinner table, folks.

Because I do not know how to say "Baaaaaa" in Russian, I'll simply say, "до свидания."

Friday, February 06, 2009

Heroes

I met a real hero today.

That's a word that has lost its meaning. It is so over-used these days; everyone from sports stars to pop stars are called "heroes."
Hero: n. [L. heros; Gr. a demigod.]

1. A man of distinguished valor, intrepidity or enterprise in danger; as a hero in arms.

2. A great, illustrious or extraordinary person; as a hero in learning.
~1828 Webster
I am sorry, sports fans, but Michael Jordan and Brett Favre? Not heroes. I do not care what roles they play, what songs they sing, or how many times they have checked themselves into rehab, I cannot think of many -- if any -- pop culture "icons" (for lack of a better word) that deserve the moniker of "hero." Certainly none that I would want the Horde to emulate. (Aside: I mean, no matter how heroic their characters, do you want a son to grow up to be like Christian Bale or Robert Downey, Jr.? Really? Are Miley Cyrus and Lindsay Lohan the daughters you want to have?)

This man, however, was in his mid-fifties, I would say. He was career Army: twenty years of hard work. We are not talking a desk pilot, here. This man served twenty long years, through some of the worst days in our modern history--1961-1981: a lot of crap went down in those two decades.

This man, in his words, had a lot wrong with him. "I've spent most of the last several months in bed; I'm in bad shape," he told me. His wife sat there with tears in his eyes as he talked how much time he spent at the VA Hospital, and how much he owed to her--his second wife. "She's saved my life," he admitted. He went on to explain that he was fully combat disabled.

This means he was not disabled by falling off a ladder in a supply warehouse somewhere stateside. As he told me, "I'm disabled because of combat."

Needless to say, I thanked him profusely for his service. He accepted it gratefully; I told him that I hoped he heard it often. He confessed that he didn't hear it much, but a lot more than he used to hear it.

I almost wept, hearing that. His humility was evident. The kind of humility that his experiences would give a person. A truly scriptural humility. The kind I would expect Captain Moroni to have had. But still, I almost wept -- with sadness, as much as gratitude and amazement.

You have got to be kidding me. Here we have someone who has almost given the last full measure, someone who has protected our Liberty and way of life, and he receives little gratitude? I would like to believe that it is because he does not walk around in his uniform. I rationalized that people just do not know he is a veteran, let alone a combat-injured veteran. I also, sadly, realized that it was more likely the result of political correctness: it just is not fashionable to respect the warrior.

Then, he said something that pushed him up another notch or two in my book: "I don't want a free ride. I'm paying all my creditors back."

He would not even entertain the thought of a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy. He was here to see if a Chapter 13 would work for him, and if he could pay his creditors back at 100%.

Do you know how often I hear that?

Usually it is "How can we screw over these jerks that have taken so much of my money?" or words to that effect. Now, sometimes this attitude is almost warranted, because there are a lot of predators out there, preying on the stupid and uninformed in our society. But it is not always the case; probably not even the majority of the time.

But he was adamant. "I'm paying back everything I owe. I just need a little breathing room; I need the bleeding to stop just a little so that I can get on my feet and start paying them all back, everything to everyone I owe."

Wow. I cannot express what a feeling I had. He had nearly given his all to his country and here he was, not asking for a handout, not asking for "his due," not even really asking for much help. All he wanted was some breathing room so that he could pay everyone back at 100%.

I do not often see heroes. Combat veterans do not normally scream out their records for all to hear and praise, so I do not often get to thank them for their service and sacrifices.

Add on to that someone who does not want to pursue what others would think they were owed, who do not want to take advantage of the system? Strange and uncommon in itself.

Together? A rarity. I feel as if a dragon has just crossed the road in front of me, majestic, stately, and truly unexpected.

Not only do I thank you, sir, I salute you.

These are the heroes I, as a father, want for the Horde's role models.

Not Michael Jordan. Not Miley Cyrus.

But HEROES

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Principles of Conservatism

I can take no credit whatsoever for this post. This, my friends, is a FOAF post. ("Friend-of-a-Friend")

I received it from my old mission companion in Salt Lake City. Apparently, the author is a friend of his and, according to the friend's blog post, is "mad as hell and not going to take it anymore."

A phrase that describes a heck of a lot of us, does it not?

Well, this friend is doing something about it. Several somethings. The first salvo in taking back the country is below, in the form of "a declaration of principles." This declaration is repeated below.

13 Guiding Principles for American Conservatism
[with a few specifics & examples]

1] Respect for Deity in all Public Matters
A) The United States was founded by men of faith
B) Most Americans believe in a Supreme Being or Universal Power
C) All morals, ethics, and laws ultimately derive from religious beliefs
D) Only those directly participating in a public activity may choose whether to include or exclude religious observances as part of that activity

2] Strict Obedience to the Constitutional Principles of the Founders
A) The federal government is a creation of the citizens, through the States
B) The Constitution limits federal power and activity
C) Minimal government regulation, maximal personal liberty

3] True National Sovereignty, without which, Nothing Else Matters
A) A complete military with full power and authority to defend against all threats
B) A complete intelligence service placed and equipped to identify and monitor all threats
C) Full support for legal immigration, full prosecution for illegal immigration
D) International cooperation only in situations that profit the United States

4] State Sovereignty within the Federal Union
A) State control over local issues
B) Disbanding federal departments and agencies that intrude on local control
C) Transfer of non-working federal property to the States
D) States proactively defending against federal infringement on their authority

5] Personal Sovereignty
A) Personal privacy respected, regardless of station or celebrity
B) Private control of private property
C) Uniform national regulations on owning and carrying arms
D) Personal accountability in all activities

6] Economic Prosperity Comes through Free-market Capitalism
A) The people retain the rewards of their own labor and creativity
B) Private enterprises succeed or fail on their own merits or mistakes
C) No government sponsored, owned, controlled or invested private enterprises
D) Energy independence in the short term; new energy technologies for the long term

7] Fiscally Responsible Government
A) Lower taxes with no earmarks; decide what we need, fund what we can afford
B) A balanced federal budget (exclusive of national defense), pay down the federal debt
C) A flat-rate income or national sales tax on individuals; no corporate income or inheritance taxes; capital-gains taxed at the same rate as other income

8] The Family is the Basic Unit of Society
A) Marriage defined by law as the union of one man and one womanB) No abortion, except in cases of rape, incest or clear physical danger to the mother
C) Full parental control of and responsibility for children
D) Strict controls over so-called “adult-oriented“ industries

9] The Rule of Law
A) Legislators make law; Executives enforce law; Judges try cases brought before them
B) No judgment based on any consideration except the written law and the facts of the case
C) Zero tolerance for judicial activism
D) Photo ID required of all voters; full disclosure by all candidates

10] Real Public Service
A) Congressional terms limited by Constitutional amendment
B) No political contributions by any group receiving federal money

11] Responsible Environmentalism
A) Act as wise stewards over God’s creation
B) The American dream built with American resources
C) Return the land to its natural state when no longer in use by people

12] Constant Examination of Performance; Building on Past Successes, Correcting Past Errors

13] Teach Pro-Active Patriotism to the Next Generation; Personal Freedom tempered by
Personal Accountability



©2008 Baron Phoenix Media, all rights reserved. May not be published or reprinted commercially without the author’s permission. For more info, visit www.baronphoenix.com

— ### —

It's me again. Consider the first shot fired, Phoenix.

It may be as important as the one fired 233 years ago on the green at Lexington.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Constructive Thoughts: Signs of hate

I came across this piece on the online Los Angeles Times today. When I first opened the link I was greeted by this photo.

I always find it so interesting, so telling, that those who scream the loudest about bigotry, oppression, and hate are usually the ones so filled with prejudice, hatred for freedom of all kinds (except theirs), and who froth so freely at the mouth.

I also found it deliciously ironic that this particular sign appears right behind the spittle-spraying protestor. At least, it would be deliciously ironic if it was not so... so....

Well, let us just say that I doubt this man has love and fellowship on his mind. Not at this moment.

For those who have not yet seen the statement issued Friday from the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:
It is disturbing that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is being singled out for speaking up as part of its democratic right in a free election.

Members of the Church in California and millions of others from every faith, ethnicity and political affiliation who voted for Proposition 8 exercised the most sacrosanct and individual rights in the United States — that of free expression and voting.

While those who disagree with our position on Proposition 8 have the right to make their feelings known, it is wrong to target the Church and its sacred places of worship for being part of the democratic process.

Once again, we call on those involved in the debate over same-sex marriage to act in a spirit of mutual respect and civility towards each other. No one on either side of the question should be vilified, harassed or subject to erroneous information.

"A spirit of mutual respect and civility."

Wow. What a concept.

An ever-increasingly novel concept in today's political and social discussions.

And maybe I'm guilty in this post of villifying. If anyone finds my post thus, I apologize. Perhaps I am.

But I join my voice to those of the LDS Church, as well as the Catholic Church, in urging mutual respect and civility.

Monday, November 03, 2008

I've done my duty. Now do yours.

Well, my votes are cast. All I can do now is have faith and pray.

I'm not gonna 'hope'--that's for the other guy. I am going to have faith that the real Americans out there, the ones that understand exactly what is at stake, I am going to have faith that there are enough that are educated in the process and love the Constitution. I am going to have faith that those people can convince and educate their friends, family, and neighbors.

Because the Constitution IS divinely inspired, and Satan--the adversary--is doing all he can to destroy it. Freedom and families: those are our side's two biggest weapons and the adversary's two biggest enemies.

Remember the argument the adversary made at that great council: I will bring every soul back to God. I will tell them how to live and force them to obey. They will not be required to make any choices, because I will make them all for them. And then, give ME the glory.

Look. Some of you may have different political outlooks than I do. I respect that; that's what makes our system so wonderful--we can have completely different outlooks but still be able to talk to each other rationally and in a friendly way. (OK, at least most of us. I'll leave Michael Moore and Michael Savage out of the equation.)

Just get out and vote.

But make sure it's an educated vote. Don't rely on the media. Rely on your own education and what your heart--what your spirit--tells you is important. Is it forced charity? Is it widespread welfare? Is it national security? Is it the troops? Is it the environment? Decide what is truly the most important for you and yours, and what will have the most devestating impact--for good or ill--on your freedoms, your liberty, your family, and your lives.

Yeah...it may get really cold, or really warm...but wouldn't you like to be FREE?

There are some on both sides of the aisle that seek to take away our liberties and freedom. There are those who have entered into agreements with darker forces and twisted conspiracies to gain their own power and influence over others. Watch for them, be aware of them, and do all within your power to fight against them.

You think I am kidding? or crazy? Consider this:
Ezra Taft Benson, Dwight Eisenhower's Secretary of Agriculture, the first man the US Press predicted to be outed from the administration given his staunch anti-communist and severe anti-socialist policies stated the agenda of what he called the "socialist-communist conspiracy:"

“I have talked face to face with the godless communist leaders. It may surprise you to learn that I was host to Mr. Kruschev for a half day when he visited the United States, not that I’m proud of it. I opposed his coming then, and I still feel it was a mistake to welcome this atheistic murderer as a state visitor. But, according to President Eisenhower, Kruschev had expressed a desire to learn something of American Agriculture — and after seeing Russian agriculture I can understand why. As we talked face to face, he indicated that my grandchildren would live under communism. After assuring him that I expected to do all in my power to assure that his and all other grandchildren will live under freedom he arrogantly declaired in substance:

“ ‘You Americans are so gullible. No, you won’t accept communism outright, but we’ll keep feeding you small doses of socialism until you’ll finally wake up and find you already have communism. We won’t have to fight you. We’ll so weaken your economy until you’ll fall like overripe fruit into our hands.’

“And they’re ahead of schedule in their devilish scheme.” (Ezra Taft Benson “Our Immediate Responsibility.” Devotional Address at Brigham Young University. circa 1968.”)
Remember...this is what we do it for:
In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children. {Alma 46:12-13.}
I join my voice to that of Captain Moroni of old: I pray mightily unto God for the blessings of liberty to rest upon my brethren.

Get out and vote.

And take your neighbors with you.

And, oh yeah....

God Bless America.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Jotting Tittles: Microwaves and Zombies

I want to explain the title of this post to you, "Microwaves and Zombies."

I really want to tell you exactly what it means to me and my life.

But I can't.

You see, I have a page of notes in my little notebook, a page titled "Blog Thoughts" with a date from last month. Under that is a bullet point labeled "Microwaves and Zombies" with no further explanation.

And the rest of the page is illegible. I must have been writing (a) in the car while driving in rush hour traffic; (b) on the bus on a bad road; (c) in the dark while half-asleep; or (d) (c) and either (a) or (b).

Take your pick.

First, on the subject of liberty. Remember in the coming week that Liberty--true Liberty--is the ability to choose for one's self, researching, studying, and learning about yoru choices. True Liberty does not come from blindly following the media.

Second, how blissful it is to lie in a tent surrounded by my LW and the Horde, on a crisp summer morning far up in the mountains in a quiet, secluded valley, the only humans for miles. How wonderful to lie there and read aloud the words from the Declaration of Independence. How marvelous to see the looks on the Horde's individual faces as they hear and understand the words written 232 years ago. It's dawn and the words leave my tongue with clouds of vapor in the cool air. THAT is Heaven.

Third, just a quick thought from one of the Presidential debates last month. A statistic was cited that deductibles (in looking back I think it may have been premiums and I wrote it down incorrectly) have increased by 30% and families are going bankrupt from health care.
(A) Very few of my clients are going bankrupt because of their heatlh care costs; most of them are going bankrupt from bad housing loans or high tax debt.
(B) I am struggling myself to pay my own health care costs. But you know what? I do not want it from the Government. It's not the Government's place. Period.

Fourth, O.K., one more thought from the Presidential debates. All of my readers know that I really do not like John McCain. He may be the lesser of two evils. That is yet to be seen, I suppose. However, one cannot deny that he has not performed very well since the Convention. Heck, he has not performed well since Mitt dropped out of the race, for that matter. One wonders whether McCain is so scared of being tagged with the "attack dog" label that he has held back. The one line that stood out from the debates for me? "I'm not going to set the White House visitor schedule before I'm President. I don't even have a Seal yet." I think that if he had spent the last nine months talking like this, he would be so far ahead in the race as to be nearly uncatchable.
As it is, I am afraid he looks like an old man weakly swinging his cane at a young whipper-snapper. (Aside: I can just hear him saying, "Sarah! Help me subdue...this beast." {while panting and flailing weakly) a la Montgomery Burns.)

Fifth, my LW and I just endured a Mormon ritual that normally comes about every five years or so: the reorganization of the Bishopric. Actually, that's just the event; the ritual is, in my household, not-so affectionately referred to as "Mormon Lotto." That's the phenomenon that has its genesis the very moment that the reorganization is to occur. From that moment on, the phone lines, back fences, and now e-mails are on fire with speculation about "who's worthiest?" "who's old enough?" "who's too old?" and so on. And then, when the announcement is made, all the gossipers look at one another and nod sagely, with a "I knew it all along" look in their eyes. Not my favorite ritual, by any means. It is a painful time. Pain. Mental, emotional, spiritual.

Sixth, It's nearly November again, and do you know what that means? Yep. Cranberry-flavored Sierra Mist is available again! I had my first bottle sighting yesterday! Hooray! Cranberry-flavored Sierra Mist. Mmmmmm.......

Seventh, It's nearly November again, and as I have recently said, that means NaNoWriMo! That means 1,667 words a day. Ugh. From now until the end of the first week of November, I am going to be questioning myself, wondering whether I can really do this--whether I really WANT to do this. I have been through this before and I can sense my reluctance starting again. Somehow I have to move past the self-editing-while-writing mode and move into a writing-for-the-sheer-pleasure-of-it-just-put-the-words-down-on-paper mode. I need to be ever-vigilant for a negative attitude (as opposed to ever-viligant, which does not make any sense whatsoever).

Now.... Where's my bag of fun-size Snickers bars?!?