NaNoWriMo Update: Home Stretch

This is it. The light at the end of the tunnel is blinding. The finish line looms large. The fat lady is doing her "mi-mi-mi"-style warm-ups.

The end of the month is here.

And with it, the end of NaNoWriMo 2011.

Thank Heavens.

This year was tough. Illness, financial concerns, stress at work, and Horde-related stuff all conspired against me. I think my LW gave in a couple weeks ago. Myself? I've been using every spare minute at home, work, and church jotting down thoughts and then transferring to digital media when I had the chance.

I am almost there. I mean it: as of this moment, I am 615 words away from 50K.

This one surely will not win any awards. I do not think it will ever see the light of day again. It is crap, filled with utter crap. It has every spare mental jot and written tittle that I could muster this past 28 days.

It may be bad, but it is done. Almost. "Will be done" is more accurate, I suppose. In the process, I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned that I have forgotten an awful lot about creative writing in the past eleven months. I have learned that Law School killed more of my imagination and creativity than I supposed, not to mention the actual practice of law and client-relations. I have also learned a lot about my own motivations, my own psyche, and my resilience. I have learned a lot about the weakness of the flesh, too, and how physical ailments can have such a drastic influence on the abilities and functions of one's mental -- and yes -- spiritual self.

In less than 36 hours, it will all be over. I will have won out.

And then I can rest easy for eleven months.

Crisis of Faith

A crisis of faith?

Perhaps that is the wrong description. Call it more of a crisis of belief? I am sure that I could come up with something more clever and apropos this morning, but I am simply not in the mood. I simply do not feel creative.

I have decided I am done with the practice of law.

Unfortunately, the existence of my LW and the Horde kind of make the practical desertion from the practice...um, unpracticable.

But my heart is no longer in it. At all.

It is not just the practice of consumer bankruptcy, although I think that has a lot to do with it. I have tried for years to salve my discontent with the answer that I am helping people, doing good for people's lives, and so forth. But I cannot use that excuse any longer.

There are just too many people that come in and want to abuse and play the system.

There are too many people who come in, after having dug themselves into an insurmountable hole, and then blame you for their trials and troubles.

There are too many people unwilling to take responsibility for their own actions.

There are too many people willing to lie to you, their attorney, simply because they think that it will turn out better for them in the end.

And there are just too few people willing to give a simple "thank you."

Not to mention the lousy pay.

Need I go on?

A friend proposed that what I am feeling is nothing more than a simple mid-life crisis. I do not believe that to be the case. I do not wish to buy a sports car, or a boat, or have an extramarital affair. I do not wish to go back to school, or open my own business, or take up sky diving, or any of the myriad of usual things men do when undergoing a mid-life crisis.

I simply want to take my LW and the Horde, load up the Ford, stock up the trailer, and drive off into the mountains. You know, find a little meadow somewhere and just BE.

I simply want to be left alone.

I want to not worry through the night about THAT client: the one who comes forward mid-case to give you a case-destroying piece of information that they "forgot"; the one that blames you for all of the post-filing pay-day loans she took out; the one who somehow sees it as your responsibility that they have not paid their mortgage(s) in seven months but could afford the trip to Disneyland; the one for whom the office buys a Thanksgiving dinner who later tells the Court she has no idea who you are.

The other day, I had a client thank me for helping themn get back on their feet, relieving their stress, getting them in a frame of mind where they could work and be productive again, and basically crediting me for all the recent good in their lives. It made me feel really good.

The warm fuzzies lasted about an hour.

Until another client called to accuse me of falsifying numbers in his case, numbers calculated by a formula that Congress, the Justice Department, the Courts, and the Chapter 13 Trustees have all developed and forced upon me. I did that; It's MY fault that she had overtime for the past two years and, despite that fact, the overtime is not guaranteed and somehow should not be calculated into her anticipated gross income.

For every one appreciative client, for every client whose life you actually touch for the better, for every client that understands that you are helping them out of a hole of (typically) their own creation, for every "good" client I am inundated with at least 99 more that are lying, unfeeling, uncaring, abusive cretins.

Oddly, it is not the confrontation with opposing attorneys; there is very little of that in our tiny little section of the Bar. It is the confrontation with our own clients that has driven me to detest the very practice of the Law, driven me to taste bile at the thought of my office, and to cause near-physical pain at the idea of getting up in the morning and facing the day.

It is a practice that drains your emotions, that drains your Spirituality, that drains your spirit, and that drains your love for practically anything else in your life.

It is a practice that wads up your creativity and tosses it in the toilet, that causes your Muse to turn her back on you in disgust, that causes food to taste like sawdust, music to sound like noise, and simple, peaceful quiet to become deafening.

It is a practice that causes you to vent your frustrations--at other drivers on the road, at your family, at your friends, and at your employees. It is a practice that literally made me weep as I drove to the office this morning.

Believe me, if there was anything else I could do that would provide sufficient financial support for my LW and the Horde, I would be there in a heartbeat. I probably would only stop to fill one box with possessions; the rest of my office space can just go hang. But I have to be an adult about this: someone once said that you are not supposed to enjoy what you do everyday--that is why it is called "work." Well, I do not enjoy what I do everyday; I cannot fool myself any longer.

I am done.

But I am still here.

Face of Evil

Today I came face to face with evil.

Evil, actually, with the capital "E."

Background: When the clients come in to sign their cases, I have usually met with them several times to answer questions, etc. After they're done signing I will meet with them so that they can ask any final questions, discuss any finer points of their case for the last time before filing, as well as to explain once again the bankruptcy process and the time-line.

This particular couple was signing their case and reviewing their paperwork. My receptionist came into my office with a warning that he was going to have questions about how to account for his charitable contributions. She is not a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and so does not really understand all the lingo, vocabulary, and ins-and-outs, so she did not question his statement that he was a "card-carrying member" of the Church, and allegedly showed her his card.

Now, I am not sure what kind of card he showed her, exactly, but when he told her that he pays tithing not to the LDS Church, but a Church of his own founding, I had to start questioning the situation. After doing a little digging on the internet, I found out that this man had been excommunicated fifteen years ago; I could not find a reason or explanation for the excommunication other than that he no longer felt the Church was teaching the Gospel, and had not for over one hundred years. He is also a self-proclaimed prophet and discounts any authority held by any prophet following Joseph Smith.

It was a troubling and disturbing experience--literally an anti-Church screed. I have read anti-LDS materials before, but this was completely different than anything else I had read. The vitriol poured from my computer screen.

He spends a lot of time bemoaning his situation and calls himself a lone voice in the wilderness. What he is from all indications ia an anti-Christ.

Not "THE" but "AN" anti-Christ.

Just so we are clear, I will define my terms. Anti-Christ: An opponent to Christ, the Gospel, and His Church.

He reminded me of Korihor, except that he proclaimed a belief in Christ. Of course, it was not the Christ I know and love. I would argue that this doesn't preclude him from being an anti-Christ. Yes, it's an odd argument, but one can believe in Christ and still work against him. One can believe in "a" Christ and still work against his true Gospel and against His Church.

I wasn't online long enough to discover any of his in-depth issues with the Church, but I was there long enough to start to feel the darkness gather in my office.

Then I brought the couple into my little office for our chat.

All of the Light in my office vanished. Against my will, my nature, my judgment, and my normal custom, I became extremely nervous that he would see my Scriptures on my credenza or my Temple picture on the shelf. I have never -- NEVER -- been ashamed or embarrassed of these objects and I was not today. Rather, I did not want a confrontation; I simply wanted him out of my office immediately.

He started our chat with the information that he had been excommunicated, as if he were proud of it. He probably was and is, come to think of it. The conversation went downhill from there. The room filled with a spiritual darkness the longer he talked, a darkness like I have never felt before. It may sound corny or melodramatic...unless you have actually felt it, experienced it.

I have no idea what I told him or what we discussed. I do remember that I had difficulty thinking and formulating thoughts and words. And it was not simply distraction; it was a physical difficulty.

I do not want to spend much more time on this story; perhaps I have already said too much. I left the office right after they did and found myself having to take extreme measures to cast away the darkness. It was quite a while before I felt better.

Satan is real.

He is not a cartoon character, he is not a "concept."

He is real.

I think that I have felt the tiniest bit of what the Prophet Joseph describes in the account of the First Vision.

Again, Satan is real. His servants are everywhere and they are cunning.

But the good news? We have the Truth and the Light on our side; so long as we are on the Lord's side, we can have hope and look to Him for guidance and protection.

The Light will triumph and prevail, of this I have faith. Good will conquer Evil; Good is stronger than Evil, always.

Christ is my Redeemer and my Savior. He is real; He lives. His people shall ultimately overcome the world and have eternal life and exaltation.

There will be no more Darkness. Only Light. His Light. All He asks is that we come unto Him and follow His word.

It is just that easy.

This is my testimony to you, in His name.

Heroes

I met a real hero today.

That's a word that has lost its meaning. It is so over-used these days; everyone from sports stars to pop stars are called "heroes."

Hero: n. [L. heros; Gr. a demigod.]

1. A man of distinguished valor, intrepidity or enterprise in danger; as a hero in arms.

2. A great, illustrious or extraordinary person; as a hero in learning.
~1828 Webster

I am sorry, sports fans, but Michael Jordan and Brett Favre? Not heroes. I do not care what roles they play, what songs they sing, or how many times they have checked themselves into rehab, I cannot think of many -- if any -- pop culture "icons" (for lack of a better word) that deserve the moniker of "hero." Certainly none that I would want the Horde to emulate. (Aside: I mean, no matter how heroic their characters, do you want a son to grow up to be like Christian Bale or Robert Downey, Jr.? Really? Are Miley Cyrus and Lindsay Lohan the daughters you want to have?)

This man, however, was in his mid-fifties, I would say. He was career Army: twenty years of hard work. We are not talking a desk pilot, here. This man served twenty long years, through some of the worst days in our modern history--1961-1981: a lot of crap went down in those two decades.

This man, in his words, had a lot wrong with him. "I've spent most of the last several months in bed; I'm in bad shape," he told me. His wife sat there with tears in his eyes as he talked how much time he spent at the VA Hospital, and how much he owed to her--his second wife. "She's saved my life," he admitted. He went on to explain that he was fully combat disabled.

This means he was not disabled by falling off a ladder in a supply warehouse somewhere stateside. As he told me, "I'm disabled because of combat."

Needless to say, I thanked him profusely for his service. He accepted it gratefully; I told him that I hoped he heard it often. He confessed that he didn't hear it much, but a lot more than he used to hear it.

I almost wept, hearing that. His humility was evident. The kind of humility that his experiences would give a person. A truly scriptural humility. The kind I would expect Captain Moroni to have had. But still, I almost wept -- with sadness, as much as gratitude and amazement.

You have got to be kidding me. Here we have someone who has almost given the last full measure, someone who has protected our Liberty and way of life, and he receives little gratitude? I would like to believe that it is because he does not walk around in his uniform. I rationalized that people just do not know he is a veteran, let alone a combat-injured veteran. I also, sadly, realized that it was more likely the result of political correctness: it just is not fashionable to respect the warrior.

Then, he said something that pushed him up another notch or two in my book: "I don't want a free ride. I'm paying all my creditors back."

He would not even entertain the thought of a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy. He was here to see if a Chapter 13 would work for him, and if he could pay his creditors back at 100%.

Do you know how often I hear that?

Usually it is "How can we screw over these jerks that have taken so much of my money?" or words to that effect. Now, sometimes this attitude is almost warranted, because there are a lot of predators out there, preying on the stupid and uninformed in our society. But it is not always the case; probably not even the majority of the time.

But he was adamant. "I'm paying back everything I owe. I just need a little breathing room; I need the bleeding to stop just a little so that I can get on my feet and start paying them all back, everything to everyone I owe."

Wow. I cannot express what a feeling I had. He had nearly given his all to his country and here he was, not asking for a handout, not asking for "his due," not even really asking for much help. All he wanted was some breathing room so that he could pay everyone back at 100%.

I do not often see heroes. Combat veterans do not normally scream out their records for all to hear and praise, so I do not often get to thank them for their service and sacrifices.

Add on to that someone who does not want to pursue what others would think they were owed, who do not want to take advantage of the system? Strange and uncommon in itself.

Together? A rarity. I feel as if a dragon has just crossed the road in front of me, majestic, stately, and truly unexpected.

Not only do I thank you, sir, I salute you.

These are the heroes I, as a father, want for the Horde's role models.

Not Michael Jordan. Not Miley Cyrus.

But HEROES

Why we do it

OK. I'll admit that there are a lot of things wrong with the practice of law. There are also a lot of things wrong with representing consumers in Bankruptcy practice.

(smirk)Bet you're all surprised to hear me say that.(/smirk)

No, really. It is the absolute truth!

But I got a note from my buddy in Salt Lake this morning that made me shake my head. In a good way. All I could say as I shared it with some of the other employees of the firm was, "THIS is why we do it, day in and day out."

I will not go into the full story, but suffice it to say he had a client who was about to lose her house, sending herself and her three children out onto the streets two weeks before Christmas. The only thing that would save her was to receive a discharge from her Chapter 13 case.

She had gone through the wringer in 2007 and 2008; divorced, sole support of the family, left with HIS debts to pay off, children with serious chronic illnesses -- illnesses that affected her ability to work regular full-time hours, facing shut-off of gas and other utilities. She had received periodic help from family members in Mexico, who sent her what little they could scrape together to help her survive. She, admittedly and arguably, violated a court order by sending her tax refund this year back to her family members in Mexico who were now, themselves, in serious financial trouble.

The one high note? She scraped together everything she could so that she could receive her United States Citizenship. That, more than anything, convinced my buddy to really, really go to the mat for her. (That's what HE says. Actually, I believe that the thought of a homeless woman and her children at Christmas was what really affected his decision. The Citizenship efforts just pushed it over the edge.)

But this poor woman caught a little break: she was eligible to receive housing assistance, but the catch? She was only eligible if her Chapter 13 bankruptcy was completed.

The only way to complete the case was to keep making payments for a few more months (with money she no longer had) and to pay in her 2007 tax refunds (with money she no longer had). The only way out was to either convert her case to a Chapter 7 case (which would cost time and money she did not have) or to attempt what is called a "hardship discharge."

Simply put, this can be granted when certain conditions are met -- notably that the Debtor can no longer continue in the case because of circumstances beyond her control BUT that she is in all other respects eligible for a discharge. It is an extreme solution and, therefore, not attempted or granted very often.

But my buddy attempted it. He admits that he was not too optimistic, but he attempted it. There was little in the way of opposition to the motion; the Judge and Trustee, however, shared one concern: The use of the 2007 tax refunds in blatant violation of a prior court order.

My buddy says that he stood right up there, took several deep breaths while looking the judge in the eyes, and admitted to the Court that yes, while there was a violated order, there were good (read: humane) reasons for the violation and that in all other respects, she qualified for a hardship discharge. And then he sat down.

The Trustee's attorney then stood and essentially agreed with him, that taken as a whole, this woman deserved to get the help she had requested.

The judge looked at them both and asked, "You mean, you want me to re-write the bankruptcy code to make it 'fair'?" My buddy just smiled at the judge and the Trustee's attorney back-pedaled. The judge smiled back and said, "Well, I've done it before; Motion granted."

My buddy tells me it felt like he had been kicked in the chest; he could hardly breathe. He says that prior to the hearing his client had asked what the magic words were; he told her "Motion granted. If we hear that, we're good." He says he heard her gasp when the judge ruled. By the time they reached the hallway, his client was sobbing in joy, grabbed him in a bear hug, and thanked him for the Christmas present. She called his office afterwards to thank him again.

The joy that woman felt? I have seen it a few times in my own clients. I know exactly what my buddy was feeling.

It is the feeling you get when an elderly woman thanks you for saving her house from foreclosure saying, "This was the first house my husband and I lived in. It's where he died, and where I want to go to sleep for the last time. You saved it for me."

It is the feeling you get when a client drops to his knees in your office and repeats "God bless you. Jesus bless you." Over and over.

It is the feeling you get when a client calls you after a hearing and says she is grateful for your help "against a corrupt society." Who assures you that you are helping people whose lives hang in the balance, and that while the services you provide are often taken for granted, she does not take you for granted.

It does not happen very often, not in Bankruptcy, not in Litigation, not even in Criminal law. Not as often as it should, in my opinion, but them I admit to a certain bias.

It does not happen very often, but it does happen, and you begin to understand a little of King Benjamin's admonition from the Book of Mormon: "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." Mosiah 2:17.

Due to the nature of the Practice, it does not happen often, but when it does?

It makes a lot of the other crap seem almost worth it.

For the thousandth time.....

So I was at a Creditor's Meeting today.

Aside: for the uninitiated, when you file a bankruptcy you must attend a hearing to which all your creditors are invited to attend and ask random questions or generally vent their spleen at you. Oh yes, the Trustee overseeing your case is also there to grill you and your attorney about minutiae and miscellaneous errors. Except very few creditors come.

I use the same spiel with every client at these hearings. I have my own little set script that tells them all the things I want them to know and the things that they are not to do, et cetera. One of the things I tell them is that while they are in their Chapter 13 bankruptcy, they are not to buy anything (particularly big ticket items), they are not to sell anything, and they are not to take out any new loans. Any of these type of transactions require court permission, which can be very difficult to obtain in some circumstances.

Pretty clear to understand, right?

So, after delivering this information, one of my clients says: "I have a big Dodge pickup and I really don't like the mileage it gets and I would really like to trade it in and get a new car that gets better gas mileage because in this economy I really can't afford to drive the big truck and everyone is selling off their big trucks and getting rid of their SUVs and pickups because they can't afford the gas."

OK. This wasn't exactly what he said, but a more grammatically-correct translation of what he said. But the feeling is there.

I literally believe my mouth dropped open. Physically. I'm really pretty sure it did. At least, it took me several seconds to form a response to him.

What came out was this:

Ummmm. No. You CANNOT do that. You would be breaking the law three times if you did that. Three times. That would be Federal Law. FEDERAL. First, you would break the law by trading in the truck--you would essentially be selling that car and as I just said you cannot do that without court permission. Second, you would break the law by agreeing to purchase a new car and as I just said you cannot do that without court permission. Third, you would break the law by taking out a new loan to purchase the new car and as I just said you cannot do that without court permission. You cannot do this. Period. If you want to get rid of the truck, now is the time to tell me and we'll give it back through the bankruptcy and then you can buy a beater for $250. But no, you cannot trade in the truck, you cannot buy a new car, and you cannot take out a loan on a new car.

His response: "Well, I don't want to get rid of it because I need transportation. I just can't afford to put gas in it. So it just sits. That's why I was asking. And everyone I know is getting rid of their trucks. So that's why. But I don't want to give it up."

I need transportation but cannot put gas in it but I don't want to give it up.

I wanted to yell at him to just give up the car and go buy an engine on wheels with the $250 he was going to save putting gas in his truck this month.

I really wanted to say that.

I SO wanted to.

But in the interest of good client relations, all I said was: "Hmm.... Well, just remember what I told you." All while shaking my head.

I'm still shaking it, but not in disagreement...

...but disbelief.

Stupid can be clients, too!

So.

Some years ago, back in the early days of my bankruptcy practice, (late-90s?) I have a client show up first thing one morning with some documents in hand. I didn't think anything about it, because we had a hearing later that morning. Note that his attendance at this hearing was mandatory; if he missed it, his case would be dismissed.

About an hour later, I wandered out past reception and noticed that he was sitting in the waiting room, reading a magazine. About twenty minutes after that, he appears at my office door (apparently the receptionist left her desk for a moment) asking if I remembered who he was and if I was going to the hearing this morning, or if he was on his own.

As much as I was tempted to tell him he was on his own, I restrained--and told him I'd be leaving for court in just a few minutes. He then proceeded to ask me question after question about the documents he was asked to bring to the hearing. Question after question. He tried to go over the documents with me, for which I didn't have time, and I told him to just take them to the hearing and to go ahead and leave for court. He finally took my advice and left for court.

Oh yeah...turns out he'd told the receptionist that he was waiting for me and had simply sat in the waiting room for over an hour. But, as Ron Popeil says, that's not all!

When I finally got my files together and made it to the hearing, I was fifteen minutes behind him. He was nowhere to be found. Nowhere. Now, I should explain in advance that this hearing room is on the second floor of the court building. The hearing room is also clearly marked. The elevators dominate the building lobby.

So I waited. And waited. And waited. Still no client.

The hearing had started and they were ready to call his case when he came running down the hall, huffing and puffing. I grabbed his documents from him, turned them in, he answered a couple quick questions, and we left. When I got back out into the hall, he explained that he had locked himself in the stairwell.

For over twenty minutes.

Fifteen of those minutes were spent hammering on the door and yelling for help. Some kind gentleman finally heard him and let him through.

He locked himself in the stairwell for twenty minutes and almost missed a crucial hearing.

Now, I can understand that most of the doors in the stairway are locked from the office side for security reasons. They are, after all, security doors in a "secure" public building. But I'm also pretty sure that fire code regulations would require the first floor door--leading into the lobby--remain unlocked and accessible from either side.

He locked himself in the stairwell for twenty minutes, screaming and knocking, and almost missed a crucial hearing when the door several floors was unlocked and open.

He locked himself in the stairwell for twenty minutes with an open door three floors below him. That's like claiming to have locked yourself in a convertible with the top down.

(We won't get into the fact that the receptionist LET him sit for an hour without telling me he was there allegedly waiting for me. That's another rant for another day.)

I'm guessing that someday, if I remain practicing long enough, I WILL meet a client who HAS locked themselves in a convertible with the top down.

Then I will have seen everything.

If the Shoe Fits....

What is it with our modern culture and ill-fitting clothing?

I'm not just talking about the ill-advised use of spandex on the larger people among us... I'm talking about the poor attire choices of so many people you see around you, be they svelte and fit or "less-than-such."

I crossed state lines and headed to the big city last week and had the chance to ride some late-night mass transit. My word.... Ten years ago, you would have had to go to Los Angeles or Las Vegas to see so much flesh. And, as we've already discussed, it's not always pleasant flesh.

(OK. I'm going to catch a lot of grief for that phrase... "pleasant flesh". I'm guessing the LW is going to need more than flowers for Valentine's to make up for that remark.)

I also see it in my clients all the time. We've had the "dancer" who appeared in bankruptcy court in a spaghetti strap crop-top; granted, it was covered (mostly) by a blazer.... But the blazer did nothing for the denim "Daisy Dukes" she was wearing. I've had an anorexic teenage guy with an oversize tank top, with more tattoos than flesh. Of course, you have the ubiquitous thong sightings (which raises the question: how do they make those little strings SO strong to fit some of these men and women? (Yes. I did say "men." That, my friends, is a sight sufficient to bring last Thanksgiving's dinner back up the pipes.)

I've seen it in other attorneys' clients, too. Like the woman wearing a tube top (also under a blazer, for what good it did) whose...umm... breasts Northern Assets had a more-than-passing acquaintance with her waist. Or the girls with hip-hugging pajama bottoms. Guys in sweat pants.

I guess I should be glad it's NOT just me.

But today there was a sighting of perhaps the worst of all.

Yes.

There was a sighting of what a friend of mine terms "Hairy Belt Cleavage."

....

....

For the uninitiated, "belt cleavage" is often seen when a plumber is hard at work.

Add in copious amounts of (horrifyingly enough, apparently GROOMED) back hair on the lower back and beyond, and .... Well, you get the picture.

Oh! For a government job where you don't get these people in your office ... and if you have to work with them, it's only in passing for a brief moment.

We're talking three to five years at least of this client. Would it be crass or unprofessional to grab him by the shoulders and shake him while screaming, "Pull your shirt down, man! Wear a longer shirt! Throw the hip-huggers away! For all that is good and Holy in this world, PLEASE COVER UP!"

Would that be soooooo wrong? It's something to ponder, certainly. A possible solution.

So...why am I telling you all of this?

Misery loves company. Plain and simple.

...and maybe by sharing, I can get a little bit of the picture out of MY head.

It can't ALL be stress and anxiety....

I fully understand and appreciate that clients get nervous and uptight where court hearins are concerned. Anxiety over their case can certainly translate into a state approaching genetic stupidity.
I can buy that.

But c'mon.
Some people are just plain stupid.

Evidence: I sat in court today and watched an attorney argue for confirmation of his clients' Chapter 13 case. (For the uninitiated: The confirmation hearing is a hearing that takes place to give all sides a place to "air grievances" and to allow the Judge to rule on these issues. It is the time/place where the Judge puts the final stamp of approval on the Chapter 13 case so that it can go forward.)

So, as I said, I'm sitting watching this attorney argue with the Chapter 13 Trustee's attorney and a creditor's attorney over different issues. Other attorneys in the courtroom are all checking their watches, as we all have better places to be.
Finally, these issues are all resolved and the Judge asks one further question. The attorney asks for a moment to consult with his client.

And thus it begins.

He talks.

And talks.

And talks some more.

The Judge takes this opportunity to blow his nose.

And still they're talking.

Finally, after what must have been over five minutes, the attorney steps back to the microphone and after apologizing to the Court for the time spent, says that in the interest of judicial economy, he has to alert the Court that his clients just can't make the case work and are going to allow the case to dismiss. The Judge complies and dismisses the case.

Here's what happened: Apparently the debtors owed nearly $20,000 in mortgage arrears. Their Chapter 13 Plan indicated they were going to let the house go to the bank. This Plan was filed in November 2007. Apparently, the husband and wife don't ever discuss their individual intentions regarding the house. Now, sitting at the table in court, the wife says, "Yes, we're going to let the house go," while the husbands says, "WHAT?! I'm not giving up my house." The attorney eventually says, "Fine...you don't want to give up the house, and these arrears make your plan infeasibile, so you're OK with dismissing the case?" and the debtors agree.

Cut to the hallway outside the courtroom.

The debtors proceed to take the attorney apart because "they only had thirty seconds" in which to make this important decision.

Never mind they've had two full months.

Never mind that they were the ones that fell behind on their mortgage in the first place.

Never mind that they were the ones that couldn't decide on a unified intention.

It's all the attorney's fault.

Let the castigation begin!

The finger-pointing went on for at least ten minutes until the wife stormed from the courthouse in tears.
And all the attorney could do was sit there and wonder WHY he ever went to law school.

That, incidentally, is the same question I ask myself at least four times a week.

Who's responsible?

Today I had what I wish was a unique experience, but is all too common in the practice of law.

My "favorite" member of the federal judiciary decided to deny two of my motions. Now, that's not too surprising, considering I advised both of these clients two months ago that it was a lost cause to bring the motions. They both persisted, however, in wanting their chance to have the judge tell them they were up in the night.

So against my advice, they directed me to file these motions--nearly identical motions that were, coincidentally, heard by the same judge on the same calendar.

Just my luck.

For the past two months, I repeatedly warned them of the very real possibility of failure. They claimed to understand and accept the fact. As we walked into the courtroom this morning, I warned them both AGAIN.

What happened? The judge denied the motions (!!Surprise!!) and I faced two weeping, sobbing, angry clients in the hallway wanting to know what happened, why they lost, what to do next, and "I thought you promised we'd be O.K."

These are the things for which law school WILL NOT prepare you.

Can I at least say, "I told you so"?

Gentleman's Bar

Not likely. Not anymore, at least.

I received notice today that a client had retained another attorney to vacate an order of dismissal in their bankruptcy case. Their case had been dismissed because they alleged to me that they were current in their Chapter 13 payments, but they could never--or would never--turnover any proof of payments. I, therefore, could not provide proof to the Trustee. We had a hearing date set, but nothing came of it because of lack of proof.

My clients never said a word until their case had been dismissed nearly a month.

Then they pitched a tantrum...and then admitted it was their fault. They said they'd get back to us.

So the Motion to Vacate filed today? The other attorney lays all the blame directly on my shoulders.

It wouldn't bother me, except for the following:

1. It didn't happen this way. (When it's my fault, I'll admit it to the judge.)
2. I wouldn't have done it this way, and neither would 90% of the rest of the local bankruptcy bar. (We would have called the prior attorney, or at least taken the clients' story with a grain of salt--we hear "my former attorney did this or that" all the time. ALL THE TIME...and it means nothing at all.)
3. Now I have my own motion being heard on the same calendar. (Yeah...couldn't bother to help THOSE clients...but I'm willing to help THESE clients. This ought to be fun!)

Morons are clients too!

Sometimes I think that the practice of law would be truly enjoyable if it wasn't for clients.

I have reached my daily limit: I am fed up with the utter lack of perception, common sense, and personal responsibility I see so often in my practice. How many people can honestly be confused about the idea that you cannot stay in a home when you're behind on mortgage payments? or the idea that their creditors are actually entitled, believe it or not, to receive some renumeration? Or even the idea that MY time and services are actually worth something? Sometimes, it is utterly unbelievable and it is always frustrating.

Maybe I should go sell pencils on the corner. Some days it would be much more fulfilling.

At least I'd be getting some sun....