And no, I don't mean 1-ply, 2-ply, quilted, and "industrial sandpaper." Arguably that would require the inclusion into the discussion of—and expansion of the sample group to—a fifth type of person, the "I will take whatever is available at the moment of crisis" type.
First, the "over and down" type. This is the camp that my parents fall into. I was always taught that the paper should come over the top and hang down. I have never been sure why; perhaps it allows for optimum roll-speed and tearability? To this day, I remain unsure. I have to admit, there is something aesthetically pleasing about this roll-hanging method.
Second, the "behind and down" type. This could also be called the "under" type. There's something secretive and hidden about this method. My parents would always insist upon changing the direction of the roll if they found the "under" method used. I will note that I tend to find this method most commonly used by janitorial staffs of large public restrooms. These are the restrooms with the industrial multi-roll dispensers. I am sure you know the type: the ones where you have to use both hands to turn the roll, and where perforation separation occurs at the slightest gust of wind.
Then there's the fourth type. More likely than not, this image is what you see when you enter the facility after the fourth type has been there. This invariably leads to a frantic mid- or post-process search for the new roll. Usually it can be found on the back of the toilet tank or on the edge of the sink/countertop. Some enterprising individuals have been known to even balance the new roll (both vertically and—impressively—horizontally) atop the old, empty tube. On occasion there is nothing to be found, no replacement at all.
First up, I saw a Yahoo! News teaser on the "worst people of the year." In that teaser story was this picture of Former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. My first thought was "Who IS that?" My second thought was: "Look at that freaking wattle!" And then my third thought made me do a quick internet search. Tell me these two were not separated at birth.... Maybe it is just me but the Governator looks distinctly Gungan to me. If you still cannot see it, look at Arnie's neck and mouth. He's Gungan with hair. And sunglasses.Dr. Venkman, we believe that the purpose of science is to serve mankind. You, however, seem to regard science as some kind of "dodge" or "hustle." Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy and your conclusions are highly questionable. You're a poor scientist, Dr. Venkman, and you have no place in this department or in this University.
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(Aside: for you women who have never ventured into a men's room, the urinal is a strange little toilet bowl that is turned and mounted on the wall for those members of the public who typically stand while.... well, you get the picture.)
What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form, in moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?The Bard distills the essence of what makes up a man: the inherent goodness. And he does so with skill, art, and brevity. In the approximately 3,000 pages of the series, she cannot make Harry -- or, truly, any character -- fit this profile, let alone describe anything with this manner of magnificent prose.
Your result for Which fantasy writer are you?...
7 High-Brow, 3 Violent, -3 Experimental and -31 Cynical!
Congratulations! You are High-Brow, Violent, Traditional and Romantic! These concepts are defined below.
China Miéville writes in the British fantasy tradition of authors like Mervyn Peake and Michael Moorcock, a tradition which is a little darker than the Tolkien kind, but Miéville is also a great renewer, as he has taken care to challenge, for example, race-related (or, to be exact, species-related) stereotypes in fantasy. His great breakthrough came with the award-winning novel Perdido Street Station (2000), which is set in the sprawling city of New Crobuzon in the secondary world Bas-Lag. Apart from its urban setting, Perdido Street Station also differ from Tolkien-style fantasy by taking place in an era reminiscent of the Victorian age rather than the typical quasi-medieval setting of so-called high fantasy. This means that Miéville has the opportunity to explore his socialist beliefs in a fantasy environment, even if both Perdido Street Station and its two sequels also feature monsters, adventures and such.
Setting his book in a rather dictatorical society and occasionally spinning his sories around resistance against an oppressive government means that Miéville's books sometimes contain rather horrible violence, made all the scarier because it's often conducted legally by a ruling government. This also makes the boks rather romantic; although the struggle is difficult, the struggle continues and whether you are a socialist like Miéville or not, it's easy to sympathize with the message that the world can be changed for the better. It should also be pointed out that although Miéville is often inventive and has a love for spicing up his prose with archaic words, his books are, narratively speaking, traditional adventure stories. Actually, Miéville has made a point of taking genres such as the pirate story and the Western story and retelling them in a fantasy environment.
Still, Miéville has brought fantasy to new literary heights and can be said to represent hope for the genre's future.
You are also a lot like Michael Moorcock.
If you want something more gentle, try Susan Cooper.
If you'd like a challenge, try your exact opposite, Orson Scott Card.
Your score
This is how to interpret your score: Your attitudes have been measured on four different scales, called 1) High-Brow vs. Low-Brow, 2) Violent vs. Peaceful, 3) Experimental vs. Traditional and 4) Cynical vs. Romantic. Imagine that when you were born, you were in a state of innocence, a tabula rasa who would have scored zero on each scale. Since then, a number of circumstances (including genetical, cultural and environmental factors) have pushed you towards either end of these scales. If you're at 45 or -45 you would be almost entirely cynical, low-brow or whatever. The closer to zero you are, the less extreme your attitude. However, you should always be more of either (eg more romantic than cynical). Please note that even though High-Brow, Violent, Experimental and Cynical have positive numbers (1 through 45) and their opposites negative numbers (-1 through -45), this doesn't mean that either quality is better. All attitudes have their positive and negative sides, as explained below.
High-Brow vs. Low-Brow
You received 7 points, making you more High-Brow than Low-Brow. Being high-browed in this context refers to being more fascinated with the sort of art that critics and scholars tend to favour, rather than the best-selling kind. At their best, high-brows are cultured, able to appreciate the finer nuances of literature and not content with simplifications. At their worst they are, well, snobs.
Violent vs. Peaceful
You received 3 points, making you more Violent than Peaceful. Please note that violent in this context does not mean that you, personally, are prone to violence. This scale is a measurement of a) if you are tolerant to violence in fiction and b) whether you see violence as a means that can be used to achieve a good end. If you are, and you do, then you are violent as defined here. At their best, violent people are the heroes who don't hesitate to stop the villain threatening innocents by means of a good kick. At their worst, they are the villains themselves.
Experimental vs. Traditional
You received -3 points, making you more Traditional than Experimental. Your position on this scale indicates if you're more likely to seek out the new and unexpected or if you are more comfortable with the familiar, especially in regards to culture. Note that traditional as defined here does not equal conservative, in the political sense. At their best, traditional people don't change winning concepts, favouring storytelling over empty poses. At their worst, they are somewhat narrow-minded.
Cynical vs. Romantic
You received -31 points, making you more Romantic than Cynical. Your position on this scale indicates if you are more likely to be wary, suspicious and skeptical to people around you and the world at large, or if you are more likely to believe in grand schemes, happy endings and the basic goodness of humankind. It is by far the most vaguely defined scale, which is why you'll find the sentence "you are also a lot like x" above. If you feel that your position on this scale is wrong, then you are probably more like author x. At their best, romantic people are optimistic, willing to work for a good cause and inspiring to their peers. At their worst, they are easily fooled and too easily lead.
Author picture by the talented artist "Molosovsky". Visit http://www.flickr.com/people/25360041@N06/ for more!
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