Class Act?

Amendment I:
Congress shall make no law...abridging the freedom of speech....

Buckle up. I am bound to offend someone today; keep in mind that any perceived offense is not intentional. Before I begin my rant I just want it understood that I revel in my ability--my freedom--to express myself how, where, and when I want. I fully support and uphold your freedom to do the same. That freedom--that right--is one of the things that makes America the greatest country on the Earth.

{Aside: That and Twinkies. Seriously: little sponge cakes with frosting inside? Who else but an American could have made such a thing? Thank you, James Dewar.
But I digress....}

That being said, I still have the right to mock you or take exception to the things you say or how you express this freedom. I can still support your ability to say the things you say, but I do not necessarily have to like them. My not liking them is not "censorship" or an abridging of that freedom. {Point of order: No-one but a governmental entity can actually infringe on someone's Constitutional rights. That is something a lot of people tend to forget.}

I open my browser this morning and what do I see?

Yahoo! tells me here that Josh Howard, a player for the Dallas Mavericks of the NBA, has opened his mouth and shown just how much class he has.

Again: I respect his right to speak his mind.

I just think that he may have lost his mind. Or his class. Or his tact. You decide.

In a video posted on YouTube, Howard is shown on a football field at a charity flag football game. As the national anthem plays in the background, Howard approaches a cameran and says, "'The Star Spangled Banner' is going on right now. I don't even celebrate that (expletive). I'm black."

Excuse me?

Maybe I am naive. Maybe I have been living in a cave. But somehow, for some reason, I was under the apparently incorrect assumption that black Americans lived in the same America that I do.

At least, that's what I interpret his comments to mean: I'm black, not American. Am I wrong? Please. Tell me if I am.

What is this comment? From whence does it come and what is its basis? On one level, does this idiot realize that it is, in part, this "(expletive)" that has allowed him to make the ridiculous amounts of money he has made from playing a game for a living? In the words of a local sports talk show host from my college days: It's a game. A darn fun one, but only a game. Does he really think that he'd make anywhere near as much money playing somewhere basketball elsewhere in the world.

Send him to China. Let's see what his bankroll looks like then.

Is this just a dumb jock athlete basketball player mouthing off? Is this part of a small subculture in America that feels this way? Is it maybe due to his feeling of entitlement as a dumb jock athlete basketball player that he is somehow more than just a mere entertainer? That people care about his opinion of this country? (Again, I respect his freedom to have that opinion, remember.)

Okay. My fuse is lit: I had convinced myself that some of the furor over Rev. Jeremiah Wright's comments about America--as well as Michelle Obama's comments about America--had been overblown and overplayed by the Republicans. Now? I'm not so sure anymore.

We have a Reverend calling for the damnation of America.

We have the wife of a Senator / Presidential candidate proclaiming that she is finally proud of America.

And we have an over-rated pseudo-celebrity glandular case comparing (take your pick) the national anthem, America, and/or American traditions to "(expletive)."

Wow.

Good thing the First Amendment is in place. Think about what would happen without it. Think about where these people would be without the good old American values they hold so dear contemptible.

The good Reverend would be doubly lost without the guarantee of freedom of religion and freedom of expression.

Michelle Obama? Take a look around the world and see what happens to "outspoken" (I acknowledge this is not the best choice of words) women: Pakastani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto? Tibetan nun Phuntsog Nyidron? How about Prime Ministers Indira Gandhi and Agathe Uwilingiyimana?

Again, I could be naive, but I am pretty sure that all of these women had more than a little pride in their individual countries.

And we've already discussed just how much our little game-player could earn elsewhere in the world. Let's take it one step further: imagine playing for an Iranian National team... or the Chinese National team... or the (fill in the blank) National team. What do you think would happen if he refused to acknowledge the National Anthem of his host country? if he insulted the Anthem or his host country itself? How long would he continue to play his game?

How long before he was "disappeared"?

How much play would anything said by these three get in a country dominated by, say, the Taliban?

Anyone? Anyone?

That's what I thought.

Back to my original point--Mr. Howard, you may not like what the country stands for, you may not want to celebrate what you term: "(expletive)", and you have every right to speak your mind. Your so-called "(expletive)" gives you that right.

You may just want to recognize that the rest of us have our OWN right to speak OUR minds as well.

And like it or not, all of us red-blooded Americans who may not like our country likened to "(expletive)" by someone getting paid outrageously for a playground game? We red-blooded Americans that buy NBA tickets, merchandise, and programming?

We red-blooded Americans pay your salary, kiddo.

Deities and Irony Pt. 2 (**Warning: Black humor**)

As we first discussed last month, it appears that it is not only possible for Deities to understand and appreciate irony, but they have a sense of humor about it as well. (And let's not get into a discussion about my use of the plural Deities--it's for effect.)

Well . . . it's happened again. We have more proof.

news.com.au has the following report:

A LANDMINE blew up in the home of a religious cleric in southern Afghanistan, killing the mullah, two of his sons and two other men who had been preparing an attack, police said today.

The cleric's wife was critically wounded in the blast in their compound in the southern province of Helmand late yesterday, and a daughter was hurt, provincial police chief General Mohammad Hussein Andiwal said.

The bodies of the mullah and his two sons, both under 15 years old, remained at the site of the blast, he said.

Other people in the compound said two other men were killed but their bodies had been removed before police arrived, he said.

The group was likely associated with the Taliban, he said. The extremist militants are particular active in Helmand province, where they are said to be tied up with opium and heroin traffickers.

An insurgency by the Taliban, who were in government between 1996 and 2001, was its deadliest last year with more than 6,000 people killed, most of them rebels but including hundreds of civilians.

Just a side thought here: are these insurgents terrorists really that bad at math. The report cites "hundreds" of civilian deaths. Let's round that up to 1,000. That leaves 5,000 rebel terrorist deaths. That's 83%. That means 375,000 virgins waiting. Do none of these so-called men stop and say "Whoa, dude . . . . If we build this bomb, five of us in this room are going to die for every civilian we take out?" Has no-one crunched the numbers?, Are you mad, people? ARE YOU INSANE?!? Just from a logic point of view: (a) you're more likely to take out your buddies than an infidel and (b) where's the proof of the virgins?!? I mean, that's 375,000 virgins per year. That's one heckuva lot of virgins!

And let's not even discuss the fact that the "virgin promise" is non-gender specific. (Thank you to Jeff Dunham and Achmed the Dead Terrorist for bringing that point to light.)

Now, the report doesn't say this . . . but I understand from my research that the cleric had blue eyes.

One "blew" this way and one "blew" that way. (drum flourish).

I also understand that--despite what you would expect--the cleric and his sons were actually not thinking about their respective 75 virgins. That's right . . . the last thing to go through their collective minds?

Their feet! (drum flourish).

Thank you folks. Try the veal. I'll be here all week.

And don't forget to tip your waiter.

Deities and Irony (**Warning: Black humor**)

From news.com.au (although I found it on The Jawa Report, a little story that proves Deities understand humor, irony, and above all-- slapstick comedy.

It would all be so funny if it were not for the innocent deaths.

The story? Dateline--Afghanistan, January 24, 2008.

The would-be attacker tripped as he was leaving a building apparently to target an opening ceremony for a mosque that was expected to be attended by Afghan and international military officials, said Sakhi Mir.

"Coming down the stairs, he fell down and exploded. Two civilian women and a man were wounded,'' Mir said.

Wikipedia--Yeah, I know, gimme a break. I know that Wikipedia isn't the fount of all wisdom and knowledge, let alone accuracy, but it works for my purposes here--Wikipedia has this to say about slapstick comedy:

the performance of slapstick comedy--based on exquisite timing and unerring calculation of execution, character reaction, and audience laughter--is considered among the more difficult tasks facing a live performer.

What makes this story even funnier? (and yes, we ARE allowed to laugh at the story--Wikipedia tells us: "The style is common to those genres of entertainment in which the audience is supposed to understand the very hyperbolic nature of such violence to exceed the boundaries of common sense and thus license non-cruel laughter." [Emphasis added.]
What makes it even funnier is the additional information the article provides:

It was the second such incident in two days, with another man killing himself and three others on Tuesday when his bomb-filled waistcoat exploded as he was putting it on....

Talk about a Technicolor Dreamcoat!

Now if there were only some way to thank these gentlemen for the hard work they put into making us all laugh. They had it all: unerring calculation of execution, tremendous character reaction--all of it.

Oh wait...I remember! They don't need any payment from us, their appreciative public.

They're getting virgins!