Constructive Thoughts: Loneliness

It has been four years since my father passed away. About six months before that happened, I began suffering from what I now know to be depression. It has waxed and waned during that time, never getting to a point I would call “crippling.”

Until three years ago. At that time I went through a period of unbelievable stress and trials, both personally and professionally, as I started up my own small law firm. At about the same time, I began suffering from some medical issues that, among other things, enhanced my depression and affected my thinking processes, making it take longer--and be more physically exhausting--to make decisions. Coincidentally, a close friend of mine bought out his senior partner about 20 months ago and he learned nothing from my plight: he burned out his adrenal system and has been going through a living hell.

The depression has been growing steadily worse. Some days it is nearly crippling, to the point where it is difficult to get out of bed, shower, get to the office--everything that is temporally important in life.

Constructive Thoughts: Songs of the Heart

Be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;~Ephesians 5:18-20

Today’s post came as many often do, due to a random occurrence or experience while trekking through the city.  

As I was heading from the office to the neighboring convenience store, I happened to look up and over at the crosswalk. There, standing and waiting to cross, was a cowgirl. Yep, decked out in fringe jacket, boots, and hat: she had the complete outfit. 

And she was dancing. 

Line dancing. 

By herself. No music was apparent; no headphones to be seen. 

The music was in her head and in her heart. 

 I love seeing that. It just makes me happy. I remember years ago, before law school, the LW and I went on a quick vacation to San Francisco, just to get away. One afternoon after we had walked the wharf and were trying to find lunch we came across a man on a random corner who (the locals said) was a regular there. He was dancing; I mean, he was really getting down. The only music he had was in his own head–in his own heart–and he was singing to it as he was dancing. 

Sadly, there were those that crossed the street to pass by. Others gave him a wide berth and looked askance at him as they hurried past. My LW and I just stood and watched, and smiled. I remember wishing I’d had some change in my pocket to drop into the hat at his feet, because I wanted to pay him for the little bit of happiness and joy he’d brought into my own day, if even for a brief minute or two. 

I love music and often carry a song in my heart and head; I have done this since I was a child. Unfortunately, I am not a dancer–I never have been and never will be. That avenue of expressing my inner song is closed to me. But I have been known to belt out a song or two while walking to the Courthouse. 

The spiritual, mental, and emotional uplift that comes from the music within can be incredible. There is a joy that comes when you express yourself in such a way. It is similar, I believe, to the joy an artist gets from sketching, painting, or taking photographs, for example. One could definitely make an argument that it is a form of worship--it certainly can bring one closer to God; the Lord has said, “My soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads.” ~Doctrine and Covenants 25:12. It purges negativity and negative thoughts from the heart and mind. I could go on and on.

 In short, having a song in one’s heart? To use the words of the immortal Ferris Bueller, “It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.” I truly do. 

You’d be surprised at what it can do for you.

Constructive Thoughts: Hope

My apologies for the delays in posting. I believe that I have been suffering from a form of depression for the past several months. It has steadily getting worse and I have been finding myself with seemingly less to say and less desire to say it. I am working on breaking through, however. Slowly but surely.

That brings me to these thoughts I have been having lately.

We are living in a world where, perhaps more than at any other time, we face daily uncertainty and unrest in every area of our lives. We have brothers and sisters who wake each day filled with despair over finances, employment, their lives, or the lives of loved ones. To these, life seems truly hopeless. The adversary’s influence is rampant and seems unstoppable.

Remember, however, that God is a God of Hope.

True hope is not to be found in the policies or philosophies of Man, no matter how well-meaning they appear. True hope comes, not as the world giveth, but as He giveth: it comes from the doctrines of the Gospel, such as faith in the Lord and obedience to the Commandments.

What better place to find hope than in the House of the Lord? Temple attendance brings many blessings; one such is the glimpse we have of the Eternities that brings us Peace and bolsters our faith and hope. This gift of hope is a sacred gift which is ours for the taking. Through obedience, faith, and temple service, may each of us remember the source of true hope and strive to receive this into our lives.

Constructive Thoughts: Gratitude

I really dislike Thanksgiving.

Oh, please do not get me wrong: My dislike stems from some childhood issues with the actual day itself. I love the turkey (dry) and all the fixings. I love the idea of Thanksgiving. And I realize the importance of that idea. In fact, I was fairly slapped across the face this weekend after moaning and complaining about my 'illnesses' and my various temporal plights for the past week.

In my studies over the weekend, I came across a little gem about gratitude from President Ezra Taft Benson that really struck home to me.

The Prophet Joseph Smith is reported to have said that one of the greatest sins for which the Latter-day Saints would be guilty would be ingratitude. I presume most of us have not thought of that as a serious sin. There’s a great tendency for us in our prayers to ask for additional blessings. Sometimes I feel we need to devote more of our prayers to expressions of gratitude and thanksgiving for blessings already received....

We need to be more grateful. It’s one of the marks of strong character, to have a feeling of thanksgiving and gratitude for blessings that are ours. We need more of that spirit in our homes, in our daily associations, in church, everywhere. It’s so easy to cultivate the spirit of appreciation....

I hope we can be happy where we are, be grateful for our blessings—now, here—accept the challenge that is ours and make the most of it, and not be envious of others....

Whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth. It is in the depths, not at the pinnacle of success, where men and women learn the lessons that help to make them strong. The hour of a man’s success is his greatest danger. It sometimes takes reverses to develop us into strong, courageous characters.

When reverses come, we need the Church and the gospel all the more. I’m satisfied that it’s possible for men and women who have testimonies of the divinity of this work to meet any possible reversal and still keep their spirit sweet and their faith strong....

Yes, with the help of our Heavenly Father and His blessings, we can meet every reversal that can possibly come. And every reversal can be turned to our benefit and blessing and will make us stronger, more courageous, more godlike.
God help us to be grateful for our blessings and never to be guilty of the sin of ingratitude.

Ezra Taft Benson, "All This and the Gospel Too," New Era, Nov. 1991, 4

And then I was reminded by the Psalmist,

Psalm 34
1 I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
2 My soul shall make her boast in the Lord: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad.
3 O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together.
4 I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
5 They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed.
6 This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.
8 O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.
9 O fear the Lord, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him.
10 The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing.
11 Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
12 What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good?
13 Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.
14 Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.
15 The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry.
16 The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.
17 The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.
18 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.
20 He keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken.
21 Evil shall slay the wicked: and they that hate the righteous shall be desolate.
22 The Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.

All this is to say, simply, in the hubbub of the coming week, amid the turkey, the cranberries, the football games, and the ridiculous midnight sales, remember that we--every single one of us--has a heck of a lot for which we need to be grateful.

Constructive Thoughts: A Realization

Long-time readers will know that I have a habit of being negative. I am negative about my office, my job, my career, the people that fill the town around me, politics, and so forth.

Today I came to a realization. I had an epiphany.

I am fine.

Sure, my health is a mess and the pain from the past week has resulted in some pretty weird and frightening dreams/hallucinations/phantasmagories. Nothing much has changed in my employment or career and it does not appear likely that anything will.

But still, I am fine.

In fact, I'm better than fine.

Wealth would be great. Fame? Meh, I find that I do not desire it much any more. There is a whole pile of worldly stuff that I once thought (and probably will again) would make my life "better." Perfect health would be a dream beyond a dream.

But you know what?

I already have everything I need or want.

I live in an average-sized house in a clean neighborhood. My yard may be somewhat unkempt and the rabbit cages may need a bit of cleaning. My neighbor's grass may be greener and their rose-bushes more prize-winning. But you know what?

In that house lives a loving wife and beautiful children who clamber over one another to hug and greet me when I stagger in from a long day.

And despite the Horde's clamor -- or maybe, in part, because of it -- my home is a peaceful, quiet refuge from the world.

That house has heat in the winter and cool air in the summer. There is a sound roof, which keeps off the rain and snow. There is sufficient to eat and all within are clothed.

I may not have everything the world says I need or want. I will likely never attain that status.

In truth, however.... I find that I have it all.

And for it all, I am eternally grateful.

Constructive Thoughts: Dad, Part 2

I wish today to celebrate with my family and friends the life of my father: our brother, granddad, and friend. I tried desperately to find a quotation from Dad’s favorite author, Louis L’Amour, but nothing seemed to fit–everything was filled with flying lead and oats. So I went to one of his other favorite authors, Victor Hugo, who wrote that “There are times that no matter the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees.” The past few weeks have been full of those times for me and my family. On behalf of my mother and all of our family let me again express our gratitude for the love you had for our father and for the outpouring of love and respect we have seen.

Father’s Day was difficult for me, my brothers, and my mother this year. But what better time to be able to remember what Dad meant to us? What a fitting time to celebrate his life and memory? And what a great time to consider the fact that he has gone ahead to prepare the way for us, and the fact that we will see him again? That our separation will be, in the grand scheme of things, only a little while. How wonderful is the thought that my children can embrace him once again, that we can sit at his feet and listen to his stories? That we can be together, forever, as a famliy?

And this is possible because nearly a millennium ago, an individual knelt in a garden and prayed to his Father. He was known as the “Carpenter’s son,” yet he was the Son of God. It was there, in that garden, that he took upon himself the sins of all mankind, the sins of all the world, both past, present, and future. It was an event that had been foretold by prophets throughout history.

It was there in that garden that night, as he bled from every pore, that Christ, “The Son of Man . . . descended below . . . all.” [D&C 122:8]
This was “the blood that maketh an atonement for the soul.” [Leviticus 17:11]
“Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.” [John 1:29]
“Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows . . . he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities . . . and with his stripes we are healed.” [Isaiah 53:4-5]
“He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.” [Isaiah 53:3]
“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” [John 3:16]

The agony he suffered in that garden is unfathomable to us, both in intensity and in cause. But the gift that he gave us through that suffering is also marvelous, magnificent. On that night, Jesus shouldered the burdens of all of our transgressions -— my transgressions and your transgressions. I added to his anguish that night, as did each one of us. But he picked up that burden and took it upon himself so that a price would be paid. That price was paid so that I might escape, and so that you might escape, the required punishments that correspond to our sins. The scriptures tell us that the gift is ours if we but believe in him, accept his gift, repent and be baptized, receive the gift of the holy ghost, and to continue faithfully to observe and keep the commandments all the days of our lives. Christ gifted us with salvation from spiritual death, which grants us eternal life with our heavenly father.

Many years ago, a newspaper writer was asked, “What would be the most important news story the world could receive?” Think about how you would answer that question: would it be the development of the atomic bomb? Man walking on the moon? The death of a (fill in the blank) celebrity? The assassination of a president? After some thought the reporter finally answered that the most important story he could report would be that a man that had lived and died had come back to life; and specifically that Jesus Christ was truly resurrected and lives today.

No event in all history compares to the importance of the resurrection of Christ. Because of this gift all mankind will come forth, each in his own order. We will live eternally. We will be resurrected and overcome physical death.

Isn’t this a joyous, glorious message? It means that we will one day be reunited with Dad. I bear you my testimony that this Gospel principle is true; the Atonement is real — Christ has given us gifts that will liberate our spirit and our body from the bonds of death and allow us to live in God’s presence forever.

We are understandably sad. We have lost a loved one. I should restate that; I do not like that phrase. We have not “lost” Dad —- We know exactly where he is. He is with his loving parents, grandparents, and in-laws, his brothers and his close friends that preceded him from this earth. The list goes on and on. To paraphrase David O. McKay, a former President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: “[Our father] closed [his] eyes in peaceful slumber, and awakened with loved ones.” While no one mortal was with him when he passed from this life, the speed with which the event happened, and how he looked afterwards attests to the fact that his last minutes were indeed peaceful; it was indeed as if he was only sleeping when his spirit left this world. His pain and suffering were removed from him.

It has been written that “Death is the liberator of him whom freedom cannot release; the physician of him whom medicine cannot cure; the comforter of him whom time cannot console.” [Charles Caleb Colton] Dad has been liberated. He is happy. He is youthful, and joyful once again, just as he was before the travails of mortal life began to take him away from us. We know where he is and we rejoice in who he is once more.

Yet we are filled with sorrow. Our sorrow is understandable, it is human: it is sorrow for us, not for him. Speaking for myself, as I have elsewhere here, it is a sorrow born of selfishness. In spite of knowing where he is and who he is with, I still want him back as a part of my everyday life. Dad is no longer physically present to talk to, to listen to our stories and concerns. We can no longer hear his stories, get his advice, or see or hear, except in our hearts and minds, his smile and his laugh. We can no longer go to him for advice and we can no longer learn from him skills such as woodworking. I cannot call him during a college football game and complain about a referee’s call or rave about an amazing play. These are the things that I am sorrowful for — the things that I have lost.

When I consider this, and think about the precepts of Christ’s gospel and turn my thoughts from an inward focus to an outward focus, when I consider these things and think about where dad is and who he is with, not to mention the fact that we will see him again in time, then my sorrow is lessened and the pain eases. He has graduated from the test of mortality to an institution of higher learning.

It is a change of attitude that is required. Anyone that knew Dad well knew that attitude was an important concept to him. It was something that he tried with his sons at an early age to instill: “ATTITUDE MAKES THE DIFFERENCE.” He was forever reminding us of this principle. Growing up, one of the most oft-heard phrases in the home was my father telling one us to “CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE!” It was his way of telling us to shape up. Eventually it got to just simply “CHECK IT!” That was one of those times you knew you were in trouble.

In my scriptures I still carry a laminated card that I made on my mission that reads “AMTD” — an acronym that Dad used when even “Check it!” didn’t work. “Attitude makes the difference.” My friends, to all who knew Dad: “Check your attitude.” Do not dwell on the sorrow, do not dwell on the pain. Negative attitudes are of the Adversary. Remember instead a man who very patiently, hour after hour, threw a baseball to his youngest son in the front yard -— a son who was somehow completely incompetent and inept in the handling of a baseball glove. Remember a man who learned to fly a plane, who flew around the world, while sitting with his brother on a log in a meadow in Southern Idaho. Remember a man who never failed to bring home from a business trip some treat for his youngest son, whether it be a Matchbox car or a bag of airline peanuts, even though that son fairly quickly realized that -— more than likely -— most of those treats were sent with him by my mother. Remember a man who always came home. Remember a man who did all he could to find work to support his family, while not allowing his family to suffer or, at least in my case, to even know that the family was struggling. Remember a man who grabbed every task set before him and performed it to the utmost of his ability, whether it was working, woodworking, whether it was supporting the University, or whether it was teaching the Gospel and sharing his testimony of the Lord. Remember a man who labored faithfully in the Temple of the Lord each week, even when his own physical health was declining, who begged to be allowed to serve the Lord, even when he physically could no longer do it. Remember a man who freely shared his testimony of the Savior to anyone that would hear it. Remember a man who walked ready and unafraid to the veil which separates this world from the next.

Most importantly, remember a man that is now free from pain and free forever from the specter of Death. The poet John Donne penned these fitting words, “One short sleep past, we wake eternally, and Death shall be no more: Death, thou shalt die!” Because of our Savior’s gifts to us, our beloved father, brother, granddad, and friend yet lives, in a higher place. Because of our Savior’s gifts, we can be assured of seeing him again one day; we can embrace him as he one day meets us on the other side of mortality.

I want to leave you today with the words of Norman Macleod:

We picture death as coming to destroy; let us rather picture Christ as coming to save.
We think of death as ending; let us rather think of life as beginning, and that more abundantly.
We think of losing; let us think of gaining.
We think of parting, let us think of meeting.
We think of going away; let us think of arriving.
As the voice of Death whispers “You must go from Earth,” let us hear the voice of Christ saying, “You are but coming to me!”

“Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” [John 8:12] “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” [John 14:27]

Dad still lives and we shall see him once again, in a better place. I know this for a fact. May we, each one of us, feel within us the peace that the Savior promised, and may our attitudes reflect joy and peace. This is my prayer for all of us who knew Dad. I leave this with all of you -- whether you knew Dad or not -- along with my testimony of these things, in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Constructive Thoughts: Signs of hate

I came across this piece on the online Los Angeles Times today. When I first opened the link I was greeted by this photo.

I always find it so interesting, so telling, that those who scream the loudest about bigotry, oppression, and hate are usually the ones so filled with prejudice, hatred for freedom of all kinds (except theirs), and who froth so freely at the mouth.

I also found it deliciously ironic that this particular sign appears right behind the spittle-spraying protestor. At least, it would be deliciously ironic if it was not so... so....

Well, let us just say that I doubt this man has love and fellowship on his mind. Not at this moment.

For those who have not yet seen the statement issued Friday from the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

It is disturbing that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is being singled out for speaking up as part of its democratic right in a free election.

Members of the Church in California and millions of others from every faith, ethnicity and political affiliation who voted for Proposition 8 exercised the most sacrosanct and individual rights in the United States — that of free expression and voting.

While those who disagree with our position on Proposition 8 have the right to make their feelings known, it is wrong to target the Church and its sacred places of worship for being part of the democratic process.

Once again, we call on those involved in the debate over same-sex marriage to act in a spirit of mutual respect and civility towards each other. No one on either side of the question should be vilified, harassed or subject to erroneous information.

"A spirit of mutual respect and civility."

Wow. What a concept.

An ever-increasingly novel concept in today's political and social discussions.

And maybe I'm guilty in this post of villifying. If anyone finds my post thus, I apologize. Perhaps I am.

But I join my voice to those of the LDS Church, as well as the Catholic Church, in urging mutual respect and civility.

Constructive Thoughts: The Elders

Dear Elders Fowler and Marsh:

Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of seeing my old missionary apartment again. I apologize for imposing last night and dropping in like I did. Especially as I was dragging four or five friends along for the ride. I will say, to your credit, you acquitted yourselves well: You took the visit in stride, your apartment was clean, you were gracious hosts, and you behaved quite appropriately in front of my non-member friend who accompanied me. When I awoke this morning, my first thoughts were of you two good Elders and my need to thank you.

While I had friends with me, I am sorry that my wife could not join me on this trip. She has joined me frequently in the past; I am waiting for the day when I can bring my entire family along. That day will have to wait, though. I am only human and can only do so much with these trips at the present time.

It was nice to see my old area and my old apartment again. I have a lot of fond memories for that apartment and that city, as it was my second area on the island. Obviously, as you know, much has changed with the apartment, however, and I have forgotten much about the area. Time was, I could re-walk the streets of that city--each city in which I served--with my eyes closed and never miss a beat. Now? I'm afraid that the passage of time is stealing my memories.

I never thought I would say that.

I thought that my experiences and feelings were indelibly locked in my mind. They're slipping away, however, along with my vocabulary--many of the words and phrases I used on a daily, hourly basis are gone, unreachable through the barrier of time.

Enjoy the time you spend on your mission, in the Lord's service. One thing is clear to me now: you cannot go back to this time, no matter how great your want or need to do so. I remember in my own experience that there were many Elders who returned to the island to try and teach again, or to recapture the happiness and spirit that they felt while on their mission. They all failed; some of them failed miserably. I am not able to visit ofen; it is such a long way to go on such short notice, and for such a short time. Normally, my visits are preceded by a long bout of high stress. While I am there, I can forget all that stress, eat good food, talk and think in a marvelous second language, and immerse myself in my memories. The visits give me a mental and emotional vacation from my real world. I can almost feel the years melting away, the layers of my mind peeling back to return me to places and friends that I have lost.

But it is not the same.

Work hard and keep your focus. That is the best counsel I could possibly give from this far removed, both in space and in time. Work hard and keep your focus. The one is easy if you do the other; they are inextricably linked. I have only one regret about my mission. I can admit this now, although it has taken a very, very long time to be able to express this thought to someone else.

I was given poor advice by a well-meaning older brother who thought he was looking out for his kid brother. Because of the depth of the love and respect I had for him I disregarded the repeated counsel of two mission presidents (one in the Missionary Training Center ("MTC") and one on island) and listened to my brother instead. I can even admit to a bit of hero-worship coming into play in this regard. My brother could do no wrong, and I am afraid that I crowed his advice from the rooftops to all who would listen. I can only pray that I did not lead any other person astray by my transmission of the bad advice. What was this advice? I was told that the mission experience was, first and foremost, for me, for my growth, for my learning. Everything else--conversions, numbers, etc.--was purely secondary.

Wrong. The work is not secondary. Sharing the Gospel is not secondary. Your growth as a missionary, as a person, as a man (or woman, in the case of the Sister Missionaries), as a Child of God: THAT is all secondary. It comes as the work progresses, as you share the love, the spirit, the knowledge that the Gospel brings. Ultimately you enjoy growth and learning that cannot find its equal in any other field of endeavor.

I think this is what my well-meaning brother probably meant. Unfortunately, he did not put it in these terms and I may have wasted a good portion of the short two years alloted to me to preach and teach.

At least, I hope this is what my brother meant. The alternatives are too ugly to consider.

Obey the mission rules and the Commandments. I know this should go without saying, but I watched too many Elders stretch, bend, and yes, even break the rules and (sadly) the Commandments. I broke a few rules of my own, although they were easy to justify. At the time, that is. Looking back, it is not as easy as it once was to rationalize them away. Certainly, these things distract from the service of the Lord, even the little things. Watch yourselves and watch over one another. Do those things that are expected of you and you will be better missionaries and better men for it.

Elders, I hope my letter finds you both well, although I am not sure whether my letter will find you still companions. I have no way of knowing if you even have counterparts in the real world. To me, however, for last night--or a portion of last night--you were both extremely real to me. Elder Marsh: the quiet one with the full head of tall, curly hair, who was from London but had worked Stateside before receiving his mission call. Elder Fowler: the senior companion who did all the talking, yet who managed to talk very little about himself. Thank you for the lessons brought to mind by our brief chance meeting. Thank you for the short piece of your missions that you shared with me, a man twice your age.

Oh yes, Elders, one more thing--a side note, really: enjoy your hair while you have it and your waistlines while you don't have them.

The Gospel is true, Elders. The Book of Mormon is the Word of God, sent to us in this modern dispensation by a loving Heavenly Father as a roadmap to show us the way to return to Him and to live in His presence someday; in His presence with oue families, forever, if we just follow the Commandments we have received. This book was translated by a modern Prophet, who held all the Gospel and Priesthood keys held by Prophets of old. Those keys are held today by another Prophet. What a marvelous thing it is to say: We have a Prophet of the Lord among us, a man such as Moses, Abraham, or Isaiah--a man such as the world knew of old--among us today, sharing the will of God with us, guiding us, teaching us, calling the world to repent and come unto Christ. And most importantly, Jesus is The Christ; He is my Redeemer and Savior, my elder brother.

It is true, Elders.

Believe it and Live it.

I have a testimony of these things, Elders. I share this testimony with you, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Constructive Thoughts: National Humility, Pt. 2

Ever since Junior High, I have been fascinated by the Fibonacci sequence of numbers. I cannot explain what my fascination is, and I am certainly no mathematician, so I cannot pretend to fully understand it. For those of you who may not know, the Fibonacci sequence is a sequence in which each number after the first two numbers is the sum of the previous two numbers. In other words: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, etc.

The sequence is predictable. There is a pattern or sequence in life that is nearly as predictable as the Fibonacci sequence. That is the so-called Pride Cycle.

What is the Pride Cycle you ask?

The Pride Cycle is a pattern in which a civilization rises and falls, based on their adherence to the Lord's words and the level of their pride. It is a sequence that is repeated over and over in the scriptures, as the Lord's way of teaching us about the pitfalls of pride. We are constantly hit over the head with stories representative of the Pride Cycle, I believe, so that we can learn to recognize it in our own lives and in the world around us, so that we can avoid the serious consequences of pride. The steps in the sequence could be stated as follows: (a) Righteousness and prosperity; (b) Pride and wickedness; (c) Destruction and suffering; and (d) Humility and repentance, which then leads back to (a).

In the Book of Mormon, especially, we see this cycle repeated time after time. In almost every instance where the Lord blesses his people with abundance, prosperity, and material wealth, it is not long before they turn away from Him, forgetting Him, until they are brought to a remembrance of God--through destruction or suffering--at which time they are humbled and repent. Pride always leads to destruction, and usually sooner rather than later.

This scares me.

Why? As President Ezra Taft Benson taught, "Pride is the universal sin, the great vice.... Pride is the great stumbling block to Zion." {Ezra Taft Benson, "Beware of Pride," Ensign, May 1989 at 4.} (Aside: This sermon by President Benson is one of the great discourses on pride; although I am going to cite heavily from it, I would strongly recommend reading it for yourselves in its entirety, if you have not done so lately. My latest reading of it brought all of this to mind.)

What else scares me about it? We all know the words of Santayana: "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." Look around you; do you see any evidence that the Pride Cycle is going strong?

First, a definition or two. For the sake of this argument, I am going to focus strictly upon current events in the United States of America. This is by no means meant to insult or leave out my non-American readers. It is simply easier for me at this point to make American-oriented references. For that similar purpose, I am going to use the American people as God's people; again, not because they are any better then people elsewhere, it simply helps in the analysis. In addition--as I have written before--this land is a chosen land. {See this post.)

Step one: Righteousness and prosperity.
Four months ago, I urged a "national pride check" because of how prosperous the country had become. And we, as a people, have been very prosperous. "One of the inevitable side effects that occurs as people apply gospel principles in their lives is that their material circumstances also improve.” {Dean L. Larsen, "Beware Lest Thou Forget the Lord," Ensign, May 1991 at 40.}

While we should not expect that we have a right to material wealth if we follow the commandments, "the lord has made it clear...that when his people are obedient, he desires to bless them with the necessities and the comforts of life so that none should live in want.” Id. Material, worldly wealth, however, can carry with it risks of complacency and may distract us from what is eternally important. It can become so important, sometimes, that our possessions seem to possess us. This concern over material wealth is a matter about which prophets have been concerned throughout history.

Moses, for example, warned the Israelites:

7 For the Lord thy God bringeth thee into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and depths that spring out of valleys and hills;
8 A land of wheat, and barley, and vines, and fig trees, and pomegranates; a land of oil olive, and honey;
9 A land wherein thou shalt eat bread without scarceness, thou shalt not lack any thing in it; a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills thou mayest dig brass.
10 When thou hast eaten and art full, then thou shalt bless the Lord thy God for the good land which he hath given thee.
11 Beware that thou forget not the Lord thy God, in not keeping his commandments, and his judgments, and his statutes, which I command thee this day:
12 Lest when thou hast eaten and art full, and hast built goodly houses, and dwelt therein;
13 And when thy herds and thy flocks multiply, and thy silver and thy gold is multiplied, and all that thou hast is multiplied;
14 Then thine heart be lifted up, and thou forget the Lord thy God, which brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage; {Deuteronomy 8:7-14}

Brigham Young also taught: "The worst fear I have about this people is that they will get rich in this country, forget God and His people, wax fat, and kick themselves out of the Church and go to hell. This people will stand mobbing, robbing, poverty, and all manner of persecution, and be true. But my greater fear...is that they cannot stand wealth.” {Larsen, supra (citation omitted).} The central danger with material wealth, you see, “lay in its obscuring the need for acknowledging the Lord’s hand in these blessings, and in failing to use the abundance to bless others and to accomplish the Lord’s purposes.” {Id.}

Step two: Pride and wickedness. Surely we do not have a problem here, right?

Wrong.

Some of the earmarks of pride, as President Benson set them forth:

• Enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen (called the central feature of pride)
• Essentially competitive: our will against God's
• Desires, appetites, passions go unbridled
• Inability to accept the authority of God; Human perceptions against God's great knowledge; Inability to change one's opinions to agree with God's
• Fear of men's judgments rather than of God's judgments
• Faultfinding
• Gossiping
• Backbiting
• Murmuring
• Living beyond our means
• Envying
• Coveting
• Withholding gratitude and praise
• Unforgiving
• Jealous
• Disobedience
• Selfishness
• Contention
• Easily offended
• Grudge-holding
• Not easily corrected

Whew. I will leave it to you as to where we stand as far as these things are concerned.

Step three: Destruction and suffering. Here's where I really began to get scared when I started looking at this topic. President Benson said, "God will have a humble people. Either we can choose to be humble or we can be compelled to be humble." {Benson, supra.} I am afraid that we, by and large, are going to be compelled to be humble, rather than choosing humility for ourselves.

Look around.

Where is our perceived power now? Where is our economic power? Are we still prosperous? In the Book of Mormon the Lord used droughts and famines to bring humility to his people. (See, e.g., Helaman 11:3-7; 12:3.) Sound familiar? Droughts, flooding, food shortages, fuel shortages, high prices, low dollar value, etc. Do I really need to go on?

Have we missed the teachings of Moses and forgotten the Lord?

Pride is a stumbling block for Zion, according to a Prophet of the Lord.

Are we stumbling? Or have we already stumbled and are wallowing in the mud?
Step four: Humility and repentance, which lead back to righteousness and prosperity. I do not think it is too late for us to choose to be humble. We may not avoid all of the destruction and suffering that we have sown through our pride, but we may not reap as much as we otherwise might have.

How do we choose humility? How could I put it better than a Prophet? We can choose to humble ourselves by:

• conquering enmity
• receiving counsel and chastisement
• forgiving those who have offended us
• rendering selfless service
• preaching the word that can humble others
• getting to the temple more frequently
• confessing and forsaking our sins and being born of God
• loving God, submitting our will to His, and putting Him first in our lives

Four months ago, I said that I thought that we needed a pride check, individually and nationally. I said that our consequences are coming.

I think they are here. Just look at the headlines of the day.

The consequences are here, my friends.

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." Are we condemned to repeat it? No. There is a way to break the Pride Cycle.

We need to find humility and repent, individually and nationally. Heck, Globally, even. We need to get ourselves back to righteousness and prosperity will follow. Then we need to find a way to cut out the other two steps for good. We need to remain humble, even in our prosperity. We need to continually repent in order to stay righteous. That is how we break the Pride Cycle.

That's where I long to be.

What about you?

Constructive Thoughts: Hurricane Gustav

The news is reporting that Gustav has passed New Orleans and is losing steam as it heads inland.

Thank heavens.

My heart goes out to those who perished in the storm, and to their loved ones. At the same time, I am so glad it was not any worse.

Thanks to the guys over at Spirit of the Law for their wake-up call.

"These are good people," the Spiriters say.

I concur, and will certainly will keep the people in my thoughts and prayers.

And I think it is important that we receive this fine reminder: there are good souls in Louisiana, just as there are elsewhere. I have a self-proclaimed "Christian" co-worker who believes (and will be quick to tell you) that Katrina was sent as a message to New Orleans and was a "cleansing" of the land, because of course, "everyone" in New Orleans is part of "a decadent lifestyle" and deserves what they get.

Yeah. No joke.

Soon after my mission began, I was in an area where a few un-thinking 19-year-olds thought it was funny to broadcast the comment that we just needed one good typhoon to serve as a mass baptism and let God sort them out. Those broadcast obscenities soon reached the Mission President's ears. I still remember the scathing talk all of the missionaries in my area received at the next Zone Conference.

"Ouch," doesn't begin to describe the feeling. A band-aid wouldn't cover the resulting wound--it was stiches- and staple-worthy.

I am sure that there will be those who say the same things about the victims of Gustav.

Let us remember, as we open our collective mouths to do so, that there are good, fine souls down there, be they members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Evangelicals, Baptists, or any other denomination or belief. Just because there is prevalent decadence does not mean that everyone is tainted. I say "we" need to remember: I am speaking to myself as well. I confess that I must work on this as well at times.

Remember: We are all Children of God.

There are very few, if any, persons that I can think of on this earth that truly "deserve" to die.

Please: remember the humanity behind the news reports.

And as you open your mouth to decry the people and their debauchery, see if you can remember at least one of the following two passages:

• JUDGE not, that ye be not judged. {Matt. 7:1}



• And the second [commandment] is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. {Mark 12:31}

Choose one--choose both, if you are willing--and liken the scripture unto you, unto us.

Let the spirit of the scriptures--let the Spirit of Christ--engender a bit of compassion in our hearts.

And may God Bless those upon whom Gustav has had an effect.

Constructive Thoughts: Snapshots of Eternity

Looking at something like this, it's easy to feel what the Psalmist felt.

Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea....Come, behold the works of the Lord....Be still, and know that I am God....
(Psalms 46: 2,8,10)

Or this:

All things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator.
(Alma 30:44)

Looking at something like this, how can you question it?

He is an artist.

Constructive Thoughts: Religious Freedom

In 1779, Thomas Jefferson drafted the Virginia Act for Establishing Religious Freedom. This document is one of only three accomplishments he directed to be placed in his epitaph. Within this Act are the words: "No man... shall be enforced, restrained, molested, or burthened in his body or goods, nor... otherwise suffer on account of his religious opinions or belief...." I can imagine similar words being spoken nearly two millenia earlier.

It was at the beginning of the last century preceeding the birth of Christ. A king has heard the message brought by servants of God (Ammon, Aaron, and their brethren). He has heard the message and has been converted. He has had a mighty change of heart and has received the image of the Lord in his countenance. (See Alma 5:12-14.)

How great was this change of heart?

1 BEHOLD, now it came to pass that the king of the Lamanites sent a proclamation among all his people, that they should not lay their hands on Ammon, or Aaron, or Omner, or Himni, nor either of their brethren who should go forth preaching the word of God, in whatsoever place they should be, in any part of their land.
2 Yea, he sent a decree among them, that they should not lay their hands on them to bind them, or to cast them into prison; neither should they spit upon them, nor smite them, nor cast them out of their synagogues, nor scourge them; neither should they cast stones at them, but that they should have free access to their houses, and also their temples, and their sanctuaries.
3 And thus they might go forth and preach the word according to their desires, for the king had been converted unto the Lord, and all his household; therefore he sent his proclamation throughout the land unto his people, that the word of God might have no obstruction, but that it might go forth throughout all the land, that his people might be convinced concerning the wicked traditions of their fathers, and that they might be convinced that they were all brethren, and that they ought not to murder, nor to plunder, nor to steal, nor to commit adultery, nor to commit any manner of wickedness.
--Alma 23:1-3

I can hear Jefferson's words--or something extraordinarily similar--echoing forth from the king.

Because the king was not only willing to allow these missionaries to preach in his country, he was an active proponent of religious freedom. This proclamation protected the missionaries in their work and travels. More importantly, the atmosphere in which the missionaries taught propelled their work, advanced it to the point that their work seemed to have no bounds.

4 And now it came to pass that when the king had sent forth this proclamation, that Aaron and his brethren went forth from city to city, and from one house of worship to another, establishing churches, and consecrating priests and teachers throughout the land among the Lamanites, to preach and to teach the word of God among them; and thus they began to have great success.
5 And thousands were brought to the knowledge of the Lord, yea, thousands were brought to believe in the traditions of the Nephites; and they were taught the records and prophecies which were handed down even to the present time.
6 And as sure as the Lord liveth, so sure as many as believed, or as many as were brought to the knowledge of the truth, through the preaching of Ammon and his brethren, according to the spirit of revelation and of prophecy, and the power of God working miracles in them—yea, I say unto you, as the Lord liveth, as many of the Lamanites as believed in their preaching, and were converted unto the Lord, never did fall away.
7 For they became a righteous people; they did lay down the weapons of their rebellion, that they did not fight against God any more, neither against any of their brethren.
8 Now, these are they who were converted unto the Lord:
9 The people of the Lamanites who were in the land of Ishmael;
10 And also of the people of the Lamanites who were in the land of Middoni;
11 And also of the people of the Lamanites who were in the city of Nephi;
12 And also of the people of the Lamanites who were in the land of Shilom, and who were in the land of Shemlon, and in the city of Lemuel, and in the city of Shimnilom.
--Alma 23:4-12

Thousands upon thousands were converted. The majority of the citizens of seven lands and cities were converted. Churches were established. Priests and teachers were consecrated.

Religious freedom is an essential part of a country's Liberty. Webster's 1828 Dictionary states that "The body is at liberty, when not confined; the will or mind is at liberty, when not checked or controlled. A man enjoys liberty, when no physical force operates to restrain his actions or volitions." We could then add one more part to that definition, saying the soul is at liberty by obedience to the law of Christ, and "One who enjoys such liberty is, in the words of Jesus, ‘free indeed.' He is possessed of perfect liberty." (Marion G. Romney, "The Perfect Law of Liberty," Ensign, Nov. 1981 at 43 (quoting John 8:36).) The best way to obtain liberty for the soul is in an atmosphere of religious freedom. It is not the only way, as the growing conversion rates in Communist China will attest, but the works of the Lord take on greater power where the people enjoy freedom of religion.

Where are we today?

Elder M. Russell Ballard, in a talk sixteen years ago, opined that we live in "a time when citizens are forbidden to pray in public meetings; when people claim that 'you can’t legislate morality,' as if any law ever passed did not have at its heart some notion of right and wrong; when churches are called intruders when they speak out against public policy that is contrary to the commandments of God; when many people reject the correcting influence of churches if it infringes on daily living; when religion is accepted as a social organization but not as an integral part of national culture; when people bristle if representatives of churches speak in any forum except from the pulpit." {M. Russell Ballard, "Religion in a Free Society," Ensign, Oct. 1992 at 64.}

When he first gave this talk there were many who raised an eyebrow when he suggested that we now have, in all actuality, an American, state-sponsored religion: amorality. He pointed to the fact that freedom in America largely comes from the ideas and laws of man, rather than the laws of God. He points out that "Many people adhere to this concept of morality with religious zeal and fervor, and courts and legislatures tend to support it." {Id.}

He also uses the examples or pornography, drugs, illicit sex, gambling, and all forms of wickedness that are defended by invocation of constitutional privilege when, at the same time, the same constitutional privileges are denied to people of faith.

These privileges are denied out of fear: fear of lawsuits, fear of ridicule, fear of persecution.

We commonly read in an accused wrongdoer's newspaper biography about his history as a Boy Scout, a missionary, a former Sunday School teacher, active church member, or former bishop or minister.

But seldom, if ever, do we read about the wrongdoer's athiesm or the fact that he either belongs to no religious denomination or has not been an active member of his church for decades?

Religion is under attack.

It's sad that such a statement can be made in this, the shining beacon of Freedom to the world.

Religion is under attack on all sides. Witness the current Presidential race: several candidates have had their religious views questioned and broadcast to the world. Their views--whether you believe the same as they do--have been held up to scrutiny and derision. If you doubt this, take a look at this. If you still doubt, well... I'm afraid I cannot help you there.

The fact that these candidates are active in their religion and hold strong religious beliefs has been cited as criteria under which they should be disqualified from holding national office. All this despite the fact that Article VI of the Constitution of the United States guarantees that "No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States." But apparently there's an entire segment of the American population that cannot look forward with any hope that they would be taken seriously as a candidate for public office.

Rather than shrinking from this fight, people of faith need to stand up and be counted. They have a responsibility to ensure our God-gifted religious freedom is not taken away from us by Man. They should ignore the fear, cast aside the ridicule, and open their mouths.

They should.

We should.

We who should enjoy Religious Freedom, should uphold our right to Religious Freedom, and should spread the concept of Religious Freedom to the world.

For ourselves. For our brothers and sisters. For God. For Liberty.

**UPDATE**
I found something interesting watching the Olympic coverage tonight. Whatever you may think of him, President George W. Bush made an interesting comment. He said that he went to Church in Beijing, and spoke several times with President Hu Jin Tao. He said that he told President Hu, "Religion won't hurt you" and pressed, "Why don't you register the underground churches?"

Then there was this very deep comment: "Once religion takes hold in a society, there's no stopping it."

Amen, Mr. President.

Amen.

Constructive Thoughts: Fatherhood, Pt. 2

I think I am a hero to my boys today.

I cannot quite get them to articulate it, but I'm getting the feeling of increased adoration.

You see, I took them camping this weekend. Just the Boys. None of those icky girl-folk around. Just Men, both aging and pre-pubescent.

I am still suffering for it, but it was definitely worth it to see the sparkle in their eyes.

I was doing some more thinking last week about my father. There will be some regrets when he passes, unfortunately. Hopefully not as many as there could have been, because I am trying to rectify some of the lost time. There are some things, however, that time has effectively stolen from me.

I will look back and see times when I was too "busy" or too "proud" (or too "bored") to do things with my father. I will also look back and see a few times when he was too "busy" to do something. Not many, but a few.

Camping is one of those things.

I never got to do a lot of real tent-camping with my father. Most of what I learned about tent-camping was as a Boy Scout. The sad thing is that my father has a lot he could have shared with me. He underwent rigorous survival training when he was in the Service. He grew up around some of the best Scouts I've ever known in my Grandfather and uncles.

I have never really benefitted from any of that knowledge.

You'll remember as I wrote last week that the one time he went to Scout Camp with me I was embarrassed by how he lectured us all on the finer points of something-or-other. Yeah, as I said, not one of my prouder moments.

Anyway, as I was sitting and thinking all these wonderfully depressing thoughts last week, I remembered a Church magazine article I read just before I graduated from high school. It may have been the Ensign or the New Era, I cannot remember exactly. I wish I could remember the author. What I remember is the image: the author said something to the effect of "picture a man and his sons as they walk to their tents, sharing feelings and memories." I remember the gist of it, because I remember being a senior in high school and thinking: That's something I've never experienced with Father.

Even "Fathers and Sons" outings were missed, as they were always held "too far away." I've never been to one. Not one.

Don't get me wrong: I clearly own a good portion of the blame, maybe even most of the blame. When I was younger, I was an ungrateful snot at times. I lacked the vision I have now and didn't realize what I would miss when he was gone. I am not proud of any of it and I will reap the whirlwind some day.

All that being said, I decided last week that I was going to surprise my boys. I used that surprise as leverage to buy their good attitudes and behavior for their poor mother all week long. When Friday's lunchtime rolled around, there was some doubt as to whether my oldest son would be joining us. Let's just say he wasn't honoring his mother or siblings to the level that I would expect him to do.

I overruled his mother, however, and raced home from the office to throw the bare necessities into the van. The small tent went in. Duffel bags for the boys. A few books for bedtime reading for Dad. The Coleman lantern and a couple flashlights. The food I took was already prepared and wouldn't take much time to get ready to eat.

That was it.

My LW and the rest of the Horde were jealous, but it was Just The Boys. I loaded them up and we headed to a nearby park that allows camping along some backwoods jogging trails.

And my boys got to experience what I never did. Walking at sunset from the restrooms the quarter-mile or so back to our tents, all of us with our arms around each other. We talked about the sunset, the burgeoning dark and slowly-appearing stars. As we sat in the small tent on the slowly leaking queen-size mattress we spoke of the day's experiences and ended with a prayer to our Heavenly Father.

Of course, Dad couldn't sleep: I tried to do some writing, but from the lantern-light my youngest inferred that it was now playtime. Reading was out for the same reason. So there I lay, playing a stupid game on my cell-phone in the dark, listening to my boys snoring. Laying in an over-crowded tent on an unseasonably warm summer night with my boys' random limbs draped over my legs, back, and head. There was no breeze to relieve and all the day's heat was trapped in the tent. I was miserable.

But I was happy.

And so were they.

In the August 2008 Ensign President Thomas S. Monson prays, "May we live so that when that final summons is heard, we may have no serious regrets, no unfinished business...." As I read the Ensign on Sunday that line jumped out at me. Good, timely counsel from the Prophet.

Ours wasn't a long camping trip. We weren't even that far from home. We did some walking, but otherwise just killed some time sitting and talking. It wasn't anything fancy.

I am afraid that I will have some regrets. But after this weekend, I am hoping there will be fewer regrets than there could have been.

It wasn't a long camping trip. But it was a good one, a special one.

Just the kind I wish I could share with my Father.

Just once more.

Constructive Thoughts: Dad

I've had a difficult weekend.

I learned my father has cancer.

He has been fighting benign bladder tumors for several years, but they've not been serious.

Now he has cancer. Prostate cancer.

They're not going to operate, because the physicians figure it would only buy fifteen years, and my father is old enough that they don't expect he has fifteen years anyway.

That's a nice bedside manner, eh?

It has not metastasized, so that's a bit of good news.

As good as it can be, I suppose. Needless to say, it's been tough to concentrate on anything else this weekend. Watching him hold my six-month-old in his arms just minutes after reassuring me of his mortality was nearly more than I could take. The question popped into my mind: would she ever know him, remember him?

I don't know how even to begin putting into words my memories of the stories of and experiences with my father.

Some of my fondest memories of Dad center around the little black-and-white television that stood in Mother and Dad's bedroom for so long, perched precariously upon the little, rickety television stand. The tear-streaked, red, laughing face that always appeared following Barbra Streisand and Ryan O'Neal's race through the streets of San Francisco. Michael Douglas and bulbous-nosed Karl Malden racing through the Streets of San Francisco. There was F.B.I. and Hawaii Five-O. And of course, M*A*S*H*. Nothing (other than What's Up Doc?) would make Dad roar with laughter like Hawkeye's antics or Frank Burns' buffoonery. I didn't always understand the joke, or what was going on in the show, but just to see that twinkle in Dad's eyes was something special.

Dad would get that same twinkle in his eye when he had the opportunity to tease. He loved to tell stories in front of my grandmother about her and my grandfather. I'll never forget how he would tease my siblings' dates and spouses. It was never mean or hurtful; he always knew how far to go and how to do it with love. Dad could also take it well as he could dish it out.

There were the years and years of University of Utah football--Dad's alma mater--that just seemed to end in misery, with Dad frustrated, yelling, and pounding his open hand on the bedspread, and the inevitable gloating telephone call from his brother after every BYU win.(Aside: Of course, now when I do the same thing watching the Utes or the Utah Jazz, it has somehow become "just a game" and I'm told to settle down and just enjoy.) Dad eventually got his fair share of gloating telephone calls in . . . but Dad's brother wasn't nearly as good a sport about getting the calls as he was about making them! Then there were the late nights at the local college watching basketball, while eating smuggled-in popcorn and sodas out of Mother's big white purse--that Dad inevitably ended up carrying into the building.

Dad would also be the one to carry the purse into movies--it was a giant purse, usually filled with home-popped popcorn in supermarket produce sacks and illicit canned sodas. The movies? They were movies such as the interminable Gandhi, Chariots of Fire, and King David experiences. Dad was always trying to broaden my horizons like that--we never seemed to go to the good "fun" movies that I wanted to see, or do the "fun" things that I wanted to do. Instead, it was hours and hours of boredom while we went around on odd jobs while he was unemployed. I can still remember the heat and the boredom--I was never allowed to take a book or any toys, except for a large, plastic, yellow model of a Honda Civic. There were also the (seeming) hours of travel to visit family, or to after-hours business meetings. Traveling to and from anywhere seemed like forever when reading in the car was forbidden.

But Dad made up for those times by introducing me to the dean of science fiction, Robert Heinlein, and to Martin Caidin, and to David Morrell--authors whose names my classmates seldom, if ever, recognized. It was Dad to whom I could turn to discuss books, although it will forever baffle me how his taste in books could be so broad, from Burroughs to Heinlein, from Clancy to L'Amour, but he could never stomach for a moment anything fantasy-related. "Why should I read about something that never happened and never could happen?" he would ask me. "It's just fantasy." The argument would frustrate me and I would simply let it die. Someday I hope to find a fantasy novel that he will read and enjoy . . . Someday.

Dad was forever trying to bring my head out of the clouds. Somehow, it was always he who would assist me with my math homework. He would get so livid at my inability to retain the quadratic formula or simple mathematic definitions, while being able to recite trivia ad nauseam. Sometimes I wonder whether, subconsciously, I did it on purpose, just to harass him. Years later, when I first read David Copperfield, I felt that I could relate in some small way to the terror and anguish young David felt when reciting his lessons (or attempting to) to his step-father. While Dad was never that harsh or brutal, the circumstances were similar--I could never keep the figures in my mind, but would soon find myself thinking about the crack in the wall, or the book I was reading, or anything but my homework. Dad would just get more and more upset. He would pound the table and drill me until I cried, but somehow the numbers would slip away; the more he pounded, the faster the numbers would fly. Inevitably, there would come a point where the futility was apparent and one (or both) of us would flee the table to find sanctuary elsewhere.

I know Dad tried so hard because he loved me. I can see that now; with the benefit of time and the aid of fatherhood, I can see many things more clearly, and I'm grateful for the patience that he showed in trying to teach me. I am grateful for the love he showed in trying to teach me, and for the quiet pride--and the sometimes not-so-quiet pride--he would show at my accomplishments: the first time I ever directed the music in Priesthood Meeting; the first time I ever water-skied; the first time I trailered the boat by myself; the first time I ever backed the trailer down the ramp, or parked the van and trailer; high school, college, and law school graduations; the look--and tears--in his eyes as I boarded the plane for my mission.

However, the feelings of pride are not one-sided. Dad likely does not know the pride I have for him, and the esteem in which I hold him. For example: the years as a Gospel Doctrine teacher, the dedication, knowledge, and spirit he could bring to bear on a given Sunday; the feeling of seeing him lead the congregation in song for many years; the dedication to the service, and the endurance that the many hours of long flights and lonely vigils that flying involved; the firm, quiet testimony he would sometimes stand and bear; hearing my voice blend with his on Sunday, singing hymns; the strength and knowledge in his hands as he would perform some simple chore or repair; and the love with which he has always looked at Mother.

As time goes by, I regret more and more the years I have wasted when I could have been learning from Dad. All those years, complaining about yard work, or helping Dad with the car, plumbing, or other odd jobs; I could have learned so much. Instead, I did as little work as possible--always excusing it with schoolwork, or reading, or any available excuse. When I did help, it was grudgingly, never thinking for a moment that any of what I was being asked to do, or what I could have done, would ever benefit me in my life in any way. Putting it in print even now embarrasses me beyond belief. I remember Dad spending his time to come to summer camp with the Scout troop one year. I am mortified now to think of how embarrassed I was to have my Dad there, lecturing to my buddies and taking them to task. Or at family reunions when I was too concerned about my own activities and pleasure to listen to and learn from Dad the stories of my heritage. Or the plethora of times I was too annoyed to listen to the lectures and the lessons he was trying to teach me.

I see now that I spent too long blinded by my youth to recognize the storehouse of knowledge that is Dad. If I was ever to tell him that I consider him such, he would pass it off as vain praise, but to me it is a statement of truth. Dad worked so hard with me as a Scout to learn knot-tying; to this day, I have to struggle to remember a simple square knot--anything more complex is beyond my abilities. He struggled to get me to achieve my Citizenship merit badges; how much that knowledge could have helped me in school classes if I had bothered to learn it! (Aside: "Learn it" rather than "know it long enough to pass off the merit badge.") There is so much I could have learned from him as a child that would have enriched my life and helped me to grow. Instead, I was too "busy" and just didn't care--there would always be another time, after all. In retrospect, I wonder just how much my inattention and my uncaring attitude hurt Dad. I know that it did, and hope that I can make up for that injury someday, somehow.

As I look back, I am amazed at how Dad's work troubles never seemed to impact the family, at least not that I ever saw. He was able to separate his professional and family lives, and not let the stress of daily life interfere with his time with his wife and children. He was always able to provide a wonderful Christmas or birthday for us, and he always had a little something--usually a Matchbox car (in the old cardboard box) and a packet of airline peanuts--tucked away in his suitcase every time he came home from a trip. Those little gifts always made me feel so special, showing me that he had he had thought about me and missed me while he was away.

More recently, it has been a joy to grow closer to Dad as an adult friend. The rapport I feel and the snippets of telephone conversations we have back and forth while watching Everybody Loves Raymond or a particularly gritty NBA game ("Where was the foul?!") are priceless and important to me. So is being able to discuss the gospel with one another and to be taught by his example, or having someone there to whom I can turn for advice. Most importantly, as one who was not able to fully experience the joys of vital and vigorous grandparents, it is touching beyond words to see the expressions of love and the level of devotion that Dad shows my children. In some ways, I am able to imagine what it would have been like for me to have the opportunity to truly know my grandparents, and can vicariously enjoy the thrills, joys, and love that my children feel for their grandfather.

I can only hope that, one day, I can be as good a grandfather as he has been to the Horde. I only hope that I can be as good a father-in-law to my children's future spouses as he has been to his. I can only hope that I can be as good a father to my children as he has been to his.

I'm going to jealously guard every moment I have with him. Hoard every snippet of family lore I can gather. Glean every bit of life-knowledge from him that I can. Ask for his advice while I can get it.

Make him proud of me.

And love him while I can.

I love you, Dad.

Constructive Thoughts: Liberty, Pt. 2

When last we discussed this topic, I asked two questions:
(1) Has this nation dwindled since the days of our ancestors?
(2) In how many of these beliefs is America still solid?
Let's look at some possible answers.

Today we face challenges we have scarcely known in the past. We have come through wars, both civil and international, with victory and found peace. Now we are a people of contention, with strident and accusatory voices heard in argument across the nation.... Our spiritual power is sapped by a floodtide of pornography, by a debilitating epidemic of the use of narcotics and drugs that destroy both body and mind.
We are forgetting God, whose commandments we have put aside and obey not. In all too many ways we have substituted human sophistry for the wisdom of the Almighty.
(Gordon B. Hinckley, "America Must Look to God," Address at Provo, Utah’s "America’s Freedom Festival" (June 26, 1988), in The Spirit of America 29, 32-35 (Bookcraft 1998).

Is there any question, any argument what each of us has to face in our daily lives?

Is there any doubt that this nation--at least many of the population--have dwindled?

Is the promise God gave our forebears still in force?

Consider these additional words from Gordon B. Hinckley:

Can we expect peace and prosperity, harmony and goodwill while turning our backs on the source of our strength?
....
An acknowledgment of the Almighty and a return to the teachings of God will do more than all else to keep our ship of state on a steady course as she sails into the third century of nationhood. Here is the answer to the conflicts that beset us. Here is the answer to the evils of pornography, abortion, drugs, and the squandering of our resources on evil pursuits.... Here is the answer to tawdry politics that place selfish interest above the common good.... [T]he strength and prosperity of the nation will not be found in her resources or her industries unless also her pulpits are aflame with righteousness and her people bow in reverence before the Creator and Ruler of the universe.
....
Let the pulpits of all churches ring with righteousness. Let people everywhere bow in reverence before the Almighty, who is our one true strength. Let us look inward and adjust our priorities and standards. Let us look outward in the spirit of the Golden Rule. If we will do so in significant numbers across the land something marvelous will begin to happen.Id.

Is our prosperity suffering as a result of our dwindling? We have been promised this consequence and I believe it is happening all around us. The evidence is everywhere and is incontrovertible. Even more frightening in today's environment is this idea, from the 29th chapter of the Book of Mosiah in the Book of Mormon:

26 Now it is not common that the voice of the people desireth anything contrary to that which is right; but it is common for the lesser part of the people to desire that which is not right; therefore this shall ye observe and make it your law——to do your business by the voice of the people.

27 And if the time comes that the voice of the people doth choose iniquity, then is the time that the judgments of God will come upon you; yea, then is the time he will visit you with great destruction even as he has hitherto visited this land.

Now, I do not think we are quite at the point wehre the greater part of the people choose iniquity--at least, not actively choosing iniquity. Passively, however, may be another story altogether. There are a growing number of the citizenry who are content to sit back and be given everything at the trough. They are content to be told what to think, what to feel, what to believe. There are those who do not actively work to preserve their freedoms. The problem with this attitude, this attitude that is ever-increasing in prevalence among us, is this: "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We did not pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same." (Ronald Reagan)
Freedom is delicate, fragile, and is not a static thing. Maintaining our freedoms, preserving Liberty, requires us to be active, not passive. Back to the sermon that the Book of Mormon prophet, Lehi, was giving to his family, in 2 Nephi 1:

13 O that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep, yea, even from the sleep of hell, and shake off the awful cchains by which ye are bound, which are the chains which bind the children of men, that they are carried away captive down to the eternal dgulf of misery and woe.
14 Awake! and arise from the dust, and hear the words of a trembling parent, whose limbs ye must soon lay down in the cold and silent grave, from whence no traveler can return; a few more days and I go the way of all the earth.
. . . .
21 And now that my soul might have joy in you, and that my heart might leave this world with gladness because of you, that I might not be brought down with grief and sorrow to the grave, arise from the dust, my sons, and be men, and be determined in one mind and in one heart, united in all things, that ye may not come down into captivity;
. . . .
23 Awake, my sons; put on the armor of righteousness. Shake off the chains with which ye are bound, and come forth out of obscurity, and arise from the dust.

Notice that these are all active solutions; we are urged to awake, awake, awake, arise, awake, put on the armor, shake off the chains, come forth, arise. These are not passive solutions, they will not happen by themselves or with mere lip service. They require activity, substantial activity, on our part to be completed.

So, first, what does it mean to "shake off the chains"? It means to put away sin. And how do we accomplish this?

"Shaking off restrictive chains requires action. They cannot be wished away. A declaration will never break chains. It requires commitment, self-discipline, and work.... These chains cannot be broken by those who live in lust and self-deceit. They can only be broken by people who are willing to change...to give up some behavior or habits that [may] have been very important to us in the past." (Marvin J. Ashton, "Shake Off the Chains with Which Ye Are Bound," Ensign, Nov. 1986 at 13.)

Second, what does it mean to "arise from the dust and be men"? Consider this statement from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: "A man is but a beast as he lives from day to day, eating and drinking, breathing and sleeping. It is only when he raises himself, and concerns himself with the immortal spirit within him, that he becomes in [very] truth a man." (The White Company)

Third: how does putting on the "armor of righteousness" help us "shake off the chains"? Remember that it takes commitment, self-discipline, and work to shake off the chains? Consider a suit of mail armor; it can weigh between twenty and thirty pounds, and that is only the chest, arms, and back. Well-tempered steel plate weighs upwards of forty-five pounds. There are a lot of straps and rivets to fasten; it takes a considerable effort to put on armor. If we are focused on THAT effort, where will there be room, time, energy, etc., to spend on sin?

These "chains which bind the children of men"--are we talking here just about physical chains? Physical liberty? No.
Are we talking about mental liberty? In part.
Are we talking about free will or free agency? In part, but not completely. "Free agency, as precious as it is, is not of itself the perfect liberty we seek." (Marion G. Romney, "The Perfect Law of Liberty," Ensign, Nov. 1981 at 43.)
Are we also, when we speak of the ideal of Liberty, talking about spiritual liberty? Of course. Remember Webster's definition of Liberty? Freedom from restraint, in a general sense, and applicable to the body, or to the will or mind--and we added 'the spirit' to the mix.

Think of all the chains--physical, mental, emotional, spiritual--that plague our everyday lives. Think about the bad habits, think about the choices we have made that restrict our physical, emotional, and spiritual growth, mobility, and happiness. Think about the passive choices we have made, the things we have allowed to happen to us and around us that bind us just as soundly as our proactive choices. "These [bad] habits...have impeded our progress, may have made us forget who we are, may have destroyed our self-image, may have put our family life in jeopardy, and may have hindered our ability to serve our fellow beings and our God.... These chains weigh heavily on troubled hearts and souls. They relegate us to lives of no purpose or light." (Ashton, supra.)

Is it any wonder that we are urged to throw off these chains?

Is it any wonder that a people so shackled, so wrapped about with chains, could so easily lose their spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical liberty?

Is it any wonder that we, as a country--that our Prosperity is suffering?

We must each raise ourselves. We must concern ourselves with the immortal spirit within each of us. We must awake, arise, shake ourselves, and put on the armor of righteousness.

Interestingly, Webster's definition of "armor" includes the following comment: "In English statutes, [the term] armor is used for the whole apparatus of war; including offensive as well as defensive arms." Thus the counsel we have been given: "Wear the helmet of salvation, pick up the sword of truth, use the shield of faith, and accept the full protective coverings of the Lord." (Carlos E. Asay, "Be Men!" Ensign, May 1992 at 40.) All of these things make up the armor of righteousness, bout our defenses against the adversary and the offensive tools we wield against his forces. Consider the admonitions we receive from Paul concerning the "armour of light," the "armour of righteousness," and the "armour of God." Joseph Smith discussed the "whole armor" in modern revelation.

In this battle for Liberty, the whole armor is important; we must have and use all of the defensive and offensive tools and protections that we have at our disposal. "Righteous living is a shield, a protector, an insulation, a strength, a power...." (Ashton, supra.) Consider this thought: "A Democracy requires men and women to be agents unto themselves to defend their freedom. When a democracy collapses, it is because the individuals and families are dropping their arms." (Charles Didier, "Liberty," New Era, Jul. 1986 at 4.)

Liberty. Freedom. Precious, sacred gifts given to us by our God.

"Freedom...obtained...by obedience to the law of Christ--is freedom of the sould, the highest form of liberty. And the most glorious thing about it is that it is within the reach of every one of us, regardless of what people about us, or even nations, do. All we have to do is learn the law of Christ and obey it. To learn it and obey it is the primary purpose of every soul's mortal life."

How sacred a gift is freedom? We obtain freedom when we learn and obey the law of Christ, which is our primary purpose in mortality." (Romney, supra.)

That's big time, folks.

Don't forget, though.... Once we learn it and find Liberty, we must keep it, we must keep from dwindling, we must keep away from the chains. We must help others learn it, find it, keep it, keep from dwindling and keep away from the chains. "Our most important need as defenders of liberty is to know what true liberty is, to teach it, to profess it, and to testify of it." (Didier, supra.)

You know, I'm reminded of the words of the Lord to Moses: PROCLAIM LIBERTY THROUGHOUT ALL THE LAND UNTO ALL THE INHABITANTS THEREOF. Many around us know of no way to escape their bonds. Many may not know they are enslaved. Again, I'm talking about Liberty on all levels: physical, mental, spiritual.

The adversary, however, cannot hold someone if they use the keys they have been given. And is it not our duty--those of us who hold our Freedom and Liberty dear, those of us who know of the keys and how to use them to be free--is it not OUR duty to proclaim liberty--Liberty--throughout all the land--and all the world--to all the inhabitants thereof?

By the rude bridge that arched the flood,
Their flag to April’s breeze unfurled,
Here once the embattled farmers stood,
And fired the shot heard round the world.

The foe long since in silence slept;
Alike the conqueror silent sleeps;
And Time the ruined bridge has swept
Down the dark stream that seaward creeps.

On this green bank, by this soft stream,
We set to-day a votive stone;
That memory may their deeds redeem,
When, like our sires, our sons are gone.

Spirit, that made those heroes dare
To die, and leave their children free,
Bid Time and Nature gently spare
The shaft we raise to them and thee.
(Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Concord Hymn")

I have stood on that bridge, watched the dark stream pass. I have witnessed the rise of an April mist, which drifted and covered that green bank. While I did so, my mind turned to the sacredness of the spot, one of the birthplaces of freedom in the world, a Fount of Liberty, if you will.

This poem stands as a memorial to those farmers--the Minutemen--who took up arms in defense of their freedoms.

We have a chance to be modern-day Minutemen, to allow others to hear once again that shot heard 'round the world. We also have a chance to share with them the blessed sound--the Gospel. Both lead to freedom.

Both lead to liberty.

To Liberty.

Constructive Thoughts: Liberty

I must warn you up front: as those of you who know me well understand, this is a topic near and dear to me. This will likely be a long post--and will probably take up two posts. Buckle up.

Liberty: "Since the beginning of the world, many have talked, written, suffered, cried, and died for liberty. Artists paint it, sculptors sculpt it, philosophers describe it, dictators and tyrants suppress it, and prophets teach it." (Charles Didier, "Liberty," New Era, Jul. 1986 at 4.) But what is liberty?

The 1828 edition of Webster's Dictionary defines liberty as: "Freedom from restraint, in a general sense, and applicable to the body, or to the will or mind. The body is at liberty, when not confined; the will or mind is at liberty, when not checked or controlled. A man enjoys liberty, when no physical force operates to restrain his actions or volitions." We could add to that definition, saying the soul is at liberty by obedience to the law of Christ, and "One who enjoys such liberty is, in the words of Jesus, ‘free indeed.' He is possessed of perfect liberty." (Marion G. Romney, "The Perfect Law of Liberty," Ensign, Nov. 1981 at 43 (quoting John 8:36).)

In the Book of Second Nephi in the Book of Mormon, the Prophet Lehi and his family have arrived in a new land, a promised land, which modern revelation teaches us is the Americas. As the book begins, Nephi has taught the colonists, and exhorted them, using the words of the Prophet Isaiah, which scriptures they have brought with them in their records. Lehi, their patriarch and living prophet, speaks to the group regarding their behavior, the land, and the promises God has made to them. Lehi is nearing the end of his days and takes this opportunity to teach and counsel his family. He tells them that "we have obtained a land of promise, a land which is choice above all other lands; a land which the Lord God hath covenanted with me should be a land for the inheritance of my seed. Yea, the Lord hath covenanted this land unto me, and to my children forever, and also all those who should be led out of other countries by the hand of the Lord." (2 Nephi 1:5)

Aside: That passage has always reminded me of the words of the poet Emma Lazurus: "Give me your tired, your poor, / Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free . . . ."

Father Lehi adds further emphasis to this point, saying: "Wherefore, I, Lehi, prophesy according to the workings of the Spirit which is in me, that there shall none come into this land save they shall be brought by the hand of the Lord." (2 Nephi 1:6) Truly a promised land; there must surely be a requirement, a stewardship, imposed upon inhabitants of a promised land.

True in this case: the requirement which must be met to prosper in this promised land is a message of great importance. Lehi restates the requirement five times in this chapter alone. It is a message of great importance not only to Lehi's family, but also a message of great importance to our day concerning our righteousness and our prosperity in the land. What is this requirement? Let's take a look at several verses in 2 Nephi:

10 But behold, when the time cometh that they shall dwindle in unbelief, after they have received so great blessings from the hand of the Lord—having a knowledge of the creation of the earth, and all men, knowing the great and marvelous works of the Lord from the creation of the world; having power given them to do all things by faith; having all the commandments from the beginning, and having been brought by his infinite goodness into this precious land of promise—behold, I say, if the day shall come that they will reject the Holy One of Israel, the true Messiah, their Redeemer and their God, behold, the judgments of him that is just shall rest upon them.

Then go back a few verses to verse 7:

7 Wherefore, this land is consecrated unto him whom he shall bring. And if it so be that they shall serve him according to the commandments which he hath given, it shall be a land of liberty unto them; wherefore, they shall never be brought down into captivity; if so, it shall be because of iniquity; for if iniquity shall abound cursed shall be the land for their sakes, but unto the righteous it shall be blessed forever.
. . . .
9 Wherefore, I, Lehi, have obtained a promise, that inasmuch as those whom the Lord God shall bring out of the land of Jerusalem shall keep his commandments, they shall prosper upon the face of this land; and they shall be kept from all other nations, that they may possess this land unto themselves. And if it so be that they shall keep his commandments they shall be blessed upon the face of this land, and there shall be none to molest them, nor to take away the land of their inheritance; and they shall dwell safely forever.

Then jumping ahead to verse 20: "And he hath said that: Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land; but inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall be cut off from my presence." And finally to verse 31:

31 Wherefore, because thou hast been faithful thy seed shall be blessed with his seed, that they dwell in prosperity long upon the face of this land; and nothing, save it shall be iniquity among them, shall harm or disturb their prosperity upon the face of this land forever.

Careful study of these Book of Mormon verses reveal many other Book of Mormon references to this covenant with those in this promised land. This concept appears to be one of those prophetic utterances that was preserved in the hearts and writings of the people from generation to generation. The Psalmist, for example, said it this way: "Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD." (Psalms 33:12.)

Modern revelation tells us that "There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated— And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated." (D&C 130:20-21) In other words, where we have received a promise from God, all we need is to obey His commandments concerning that promise in order to receive a fulfillment of that promise.

What was required of Lehi's family? To keep the commandments.

What was the promised reward? They shall be blessed upon the land, never be brought unto captivity, they would prosper in the land, etc.

And all that was required was to keep His commandments. Put another way, only iniquity would destroy their prosperity.

In yet other words, iniquity destroys liberty.

How important is this idea, that libery, prosperity, and observance of the Lord's commandments are all interrelated? Consider the following quotations: (all emphases in the originals).

• "Of all the . . . habits which lead to political prosperity, religion and morality are indispensable supports. . . . Let us with caution indulge the supposition that morality can be maintained without religion. . . . it is substantially true that virtue or morality is a necessary spring of popular government. . . . Who . . . can look with indifference upon attempts to shake the foundation of the fabric?" --George Washington


• "Neither the wisest constitution nor the wisest laws will secure the liberty and happiness of a people whose manners are universally corrupt." --Samuel Adams


• "Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." --John Adams


• "I agree to this Constitution . . . and I believe, further, that this is likely to be well administered for a course of years, and can only end in despotism, as other forms have done before it, when the people shall become so corrupted as to need despotic government, being incapable of any other." --Benjamin Franklin


• "Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious they have more need of masters." --Benjamin Franklin


• "Statesmen . . . may plan and speculate for liberty, but it is Religion and Morality alone, which can establish the Principles upon which Freedom can securely stand. The only foundation of a free Constitution is pure Virtue, and if this cannot be inspired into our People in a greater Measure, than they have it now, they may change their Rulers and the forms of Government, but they will not obtain a lasting liberty." --John Adams

These are just a few quotes of many; the Founding Fathers understood this requirement. Massachusetts Governor and 2008 Presidential candidate Mitt Romney put the thought to voice in this way: "Freedom opens the windows of the soul so that man can discover his most profound beliefs and commune with God. Freedom and religion endure together, or perish alone."

All of these thoughts share the same idea: "Freedom is not an absolute concept, but is a kind of balance between two extremes. One extreme is the lawlessness and disorder of anarchy, which is the total absence or suspension of government the other extreme is the absence of liberty resulting from complete control of the people by the government. This balance, called freedom, can exist only as long as the people involved, by their own inward motivation, act righteously enough for it to continue." (Jerome Horowitz, The Elders of Israel and the Constitution at 27 (2d ed. 1970) (emphasis added).)

Of course, freedom is not the only promise from God found in these passages. There is another promise, a more dire promise. In verse 10 we are told that those that dwindle in unbelief and reject the true Messiah shall have the judgments of God rest upon him. Look again at the "areas of dwindling" listed in that verse. Those who dwindle lose their belief in the following: the creation by God of the earth and all men; the scriptural record of the 'great and marvelous works of the Lord'; the possibility and ability to do things by faith; the Commandments; the infinite goodness of the Lord; and finally, the Messiah.

Has this nation dwindled since the days of our ancestors?

In how many of these beliefs is America still solid?

Think about that; I'll be back with more soon.