NaNoWriMo Update: Across the Finish Line

Well, another year, another novel. Yep, that's right. I am done. As of yesterday afternoon I crossed 50,000 words and kept right on sailing. After verifying my word count I wound up with 52,843 total words. Like I mentioned yesterday, it is largely crap; if I were to edit it down, I doubt I would have half as many words. But it is done.

I will be honest: I didn't think I had it in me, not this year.

Now I know I do. Or did. Thank you all for your thoughts and well-wishes you sent my way over the past month, my friends and readers. Thanks for all your words of support. I felt them keenly and they helped immensely. I could not have done it without you.

Most importantly, I could not have done it without the support of my LW and the Horde. They tolerated my long hours staring into space interrupted by frantic typing and breathy mutterings. I am sure at times they were certain I was hearing the " a low, dull, quick sound --much such a sound as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton," especially when I would "pace...the floor to and fro with heavy strides, as if excited to fury...."*

They no doubt fancied me mad.

I am mad no longer. At least, not like I was, and no more mad than usual.

I am myself again, gentle readers...and ready for a long nap this weekend. Let us all get there in safety and sanity, eh? God bless you all.

----------------------------------------
*The Tell-Tale Heart, with apologies to Edgar Allan Poe.

NaNoWriMo Update: Home Stretch

This is it. The light at the end of the tunnel is blinding. The finish line looms large. The fat lady is doing her "mi-mi-mi"-style warm-ups.

The end of the month is here.

And with it, the end of NaNoWriMo 2011.

Thank Heavens.

This year was tough. Illness, financial concerns, stress at work, and Horde-related stuff all conspired against me. I think my LW gave in a couple weeks ago. Myself? I've been using every spare minute at home, work, and church jotting down thoughts and then transferring to digital media when I had the chance.

I am almost there. I mean it: as of this moment, I am 615 words away from 50K.

This one surely will not win any awards. I do not think it will ever see the light of day again. It is crap, filled with utter crap. It has every spare mental jot and written tittle that I could muster this past 28 days.

It may be bad, but it is done. Almost. "Will be done" is more accurate, I suppose. In the process, I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned that I have forgotten an awful lot about creative writing in the past eleven months. I have learned that Law School killed more of my imagination and creativity than I supposed, not to mention the actual practice of law and client-relations. I have also learned a lot about my own motivations, my own psyche, and my resilience. I have learned a lot about the weakness of the flesh, too, and how physical ailments can have such a drastic influence on the abilities and functions of one's mental -- and yes -- spiritual self.

In less than 36 hours, it will all be over. I will have won out.

And then I can rest easy for eleven months.

It's NaNoWriMo Time Again!

Well, it is that time again, the time when my pencil sharpener earns its worth and I run through fountain pen ink like water. I have a stack of paper at my office desk and pocket notebooks proliferate my suit, jeans, and pajamas.

What time is it boys and girls? It's NaNoWriMo time again!

What is NaNoWriMo, you ask?

National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30. ... The ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

This will be my seventh year; I have won each of the last three years. And I have been dreading this day since December 1, 2010.

No, seriously. I dread November like the coming plague. But this year it is even worse than usual. I have no ideas for plot, character, or even genre. I am hoping some kind of inspiration strikes in the next 10 hours, because if not.... Well, let us just say that it will be an EXTREMELY long month.

Wish me luck. I will most likely be quite absent for a while, but then I suppose you are all quite used to that. I will try and keep you up to date on my progress, but I cannot guarantee anything at this point. After all, every ounce of writing, typing, or creative output has to be focused on THE NOVEL.

[SIGH]

Want to join me? Head on over to www.nanowrimo.org and register.

Clean as a Whistle

I am not sure why a whistle is the paragon of cleanliness, considering that it is a tool into which you are forcefully expelling saliva and germs, not to mention microscopic orts of food, but regardless, apparently this blog is just that.

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site

The site is little more than an advertisement and enticement to an online dating site. However, I still love a good "test" or "rating" as is clear if you have spent any time looking through my archived posts.

According to this site, "No bad words were found."

Well, what do you know? I'm Family Friendly.

NaNoWriMo 2010

Yes.

It is that time of year again.

Just when I was starting to get in the blog-writing mode again, here comes NaNoWriMo. Like a Universal conspiracy, here comes NaNoWriMo to torpedo my blog again.

I am really starting to dread November and hate it when it is here.

And it is here.

"Why do it?" I hear you ask.

Because. Because of the feeling you get when you finish. I have heard it described as a massive bowel movement following a month of painful constipation. (Actually, I have only heard it described that way from my own two lips.)

You are welcome for that imagery. And at no extra charge, either.

As painful as it is, there is still a feeling of pride and accomplishment when 12:01 December 1 rolls around and you look and see a document with 50,000+ words that did not exist 30 days ago.

I think it may be as close as I come in this lifetime to actually going through labor and giving birth.

At least, I hope it is as close as I come.

Which Die Am I?

Wow. I am not sure what to make of this.


You are a d20: You are a ruthless warrior. Thinking is for idiots and nerds. Doing things is what gets things done. You are the type who stabs now, and then asks questions later. Much later. And it usually involves a priest. For you, the best defense is a good offense, and the best offense usually involves burning the whole place to the ground -- at least twice. You are a whirlwind of destruction, composed of rash decisions and reckless actions. Put briefly, you are a danger to yourself and others. Good thing nobody ever listens to you.

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

We Did It!

At 10:30 p.m. Monday it was official!

Myself, my LW, and three of the Horde all reached our NaNoWriMo goals. Between us there were over 136,000 words of fiction written in our little home over the past 30 days. That's over 4,500 words per day.

That is a lot of writing, typing, and creative energy.

There was some real garbage put out (at least on my part) but there was some really brilliant writing put out too (that would be my LW and the Hordelings).

There were dwarves, elves, and dragons. There were some detectives, some spaceships, and a little time travel thrown in. There was teenage angst and middle-aged regret. There was even some introspection done. There was definitely pain: mental, emotional, and physical. If I am not mistaken, there was also a visit from Yoda and a few other Star Wars characters.

Congratulations to my family! I am so proud of all of you!

...and somewhat relieved that November is over for another 11 months.

Literary U-Turn

Well, it happened.

I hate my characters and my novel.

I hate them enough that I am dropping it like a hot potato.

That's right. I am now 16,000 words in. I have been stalled for several days because I just cannot stand the people in my head, and I woke up this morning with a new book flooding into my brain.

The characters in my first attempt are SO bad that I was better able to channel dialogue for one of my wife's characters than dialogue and actions for three characters who have been nurtured in my head for months. Oh, yeah... all I know about my wife's character is his name and approximate age.

So. I am going from a dark, gritty fantasy novel to what I picture as an urban fantasy, alternate-modern novel with a lighter comedic edge. And I have 10 days.

For those with a public-school education, that comes out to be 5,000 words per day.

Can I do it? I think so.

Will I? I hope so.

NaNoWriMo 2009

I'm scared of Hallowe'en this year.

Not because my office building may be haunted by two or more spirits.

Not because my neighborhood is populated by zombies, ghouls, and at least one vampire.

It's because on the day after Hallowe'en, or All Saints' Day, IT begins.

NaNoWriMo 2009.

National Novel Writing Month.

I did it last year.

It's taken me nearly a full year to recover my will and desire to really, REALLY write again.

And now this. Self-imposed slavish speculative scribbling.

I still have nightmares from last year.

But as I sit here, I'm again sharpening my pencils and filling my pens with fresh ink.

As I travel from home to the office, from the office to court, and back again, my mind races over plots, characters, dialogue, and, oh yeah.... "plot."

50,000 words staring me in the face and I do not yet have a story.

I have nine days.

And no story.

It is going to be painful. I know that.

And yet...bring it on.

Back From Vacation

Yeah. This is what my loyal readers get after my vacation.

A time-wasting test.

But still a fun one!

Which Character, Part II

You Scored as Gimli

Gimli = 83%

Gandalf = 67%
Boromir = 60%
Merry = 60%
Sam = 60%
Eomer = 57%
Frodo = 53%
Legolas = 50%
Aragorn = 47%
Saruman = 43%
Pippin = 43%
Gollum = 40%
Elrond = 30%
Sauron = 30%

Unfortunately this quiz gives you neither a picture of the character nor a description of qualities/personality traits. (I had to go searching for my own picture.) I would sure like to know which qualities I share with Gimli (or what qualities the test's algorythimic creator believes that I share with Gimli).

Oddly enough, Gimli is my favorite character. I will always believe that Peter Jackson performed an injustice by making Gimli the comic relief in the last two films, but there you have it. No-one asked me for my input.

I, for one, am proud to be connected in some small, insignificant, ridiculous way with such a stalwart hero.

"Baruk Khazââd! Khazââd ai-mêênu!"
('Axes of the Dwarves! The Dwarves are upon you!')

Which Character?

Yoda: A venerated sage with vast power and knowledge, you gently guide forces around you while serving as a champion of the light.

Judge me by my size, do you? And well you should not - for my ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us, and binds us. Luminescent beings are we, not this crude matter! You must feel the Force around you, everywhere.

Yoda is a is a character in the Star Wars universe. More Yoda information is available at the Star Wars Databank.

Nope. Not Mighty Mouse!

I am sorry.

But even if it gets me put on a list somewhere, this is dang funny stuff.

Unfortunately, thanks to the state of the Country and the Future, it is probably close to being morbidly humorous (also known as "black humor" but I have to be careful about that term, don't I?).

Add to that the fact that, for many, he IS a Superhero.

Talk about a fantasy.

But I still have a First Amendment right, dagnabbit! So sit back and enjoy:

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Apparently, I need to get out a bit more.

visited 23 states (46%)
Create your own visited map of The United States


visited 10 states (4.44%)
Create your own visited map of The World

Rest in Peace, America

We lost two entertainment icons last week. Farrah and Michael. May they rest in peace.

America may be history as well. But more on that in a moment.

The loss of any human life is, at its most basic, a tragedy. There is some tragedy in how these two lived their lives, but I am not going to belabor that or lessen the impact their deaths have had on their families. Whatever you think of them, they were human beings, plain and simple.

What I will do, however, is excoriate the mainstream media for forcing it down our throats, non-stop. EVERYTHING on cable programming yesterday afternoon was about the death of Michael Jackson. Everything. I think I even saw him on a Beverly Hillbillies re-run, although I may be mistaken on that point.

I had to literally search for something -- anything -- that discussed the outcome of the vote on the biggest tax attack perpetrated upon the American People. I mean, of course, the so-called cap and trade "HR.2454: Title: To create clean energy jobs, achieve energy independence, reduce global warming pollution and transition to a clean energy economy.

Politically-correct Global Warming crap.

Even the local news spent more time trying to link Michael Jackson's life, somehow, however tenuously, to our little town than they did reporting on how our representatives voted on the cap and tax scheme.

You see, the mainstream media and the Washington insiders did not want the American people to focus on this bill. They knew that there was grave danger to the bill if the people really stood up and took notice.

So what did they do?

What do you do when you take a young toddler to get his or her picture taken? What do you do in church when the same child starts to fuss because you've taken something away from him or her?

You distract them.

You use the squeaky duck toy. You jingle your bright, shiny keys in front of them. Anything to get them to forget the camera or the fragile book you want to get away from their grasp.

At first, I believed that South Carolina Governor Sanford's saga was the shiny thing. After all, why make such a big deal over a person -- even though a Governor -- disappearing to hike in the mountains? I think I would do the same thing if I were in public office: just disappear and be by myself. I did not blame him in the least. But remember how the media kept harping and harping on how horrible it was that he would just "disappear"?

The jingling had started.

Then it was revealed he'd actually been in Argentina, not the Appalachian Trail. Even then, I must say, I was still on his side.

The jingling got louder.

Then it was revealed that the married Governor had left his wife at home and traveled to meet up with his Argentinian girlfriend. Whoops. I jumped off his bandwagon at that point. But the media kept harping and harping, louder and louder.

I think at some point I may have seen a big squeaking bunny toy on the lecturn next to Governor Sanford. Honest.

He looked a bit like Harvey, actually.

I don't blame the criticism of the Governor on this issue. After all, your wife should be the most important part of your life. If you're willing to cheat on that, if your wife means as little to you as that, what are your constituents? "Governor" is just a job, after all is said and done. If I was a South Carolinian, I would feel abused and cheated upon. I would want him run out of the Capitol on a rail.

I still believe that he was the intended "shiny thing." It was all a bit too convenient, timing-wise.

But can you tell me any man in America more grateful at the passing of Michael Jackson? Really? OK, granted, it's a pretty tactless thing to say or think.... But Michael's death (and to a much lesser extent Farrah's death) knocked Sanford right off the front page.

Jingle. Jingle. Look at the shiny keys, Little Darlings.

Unfortunately it appears as the deaths of these two human beings has become the latest "shiny thing" held up and jingled in front of the public to distract them from the more important things in life.

Come to think of it, we lost an "infotainment" icon this morning as well. Mr. Billy Mays. You may not know his name (I did not) -- after all, he's just an infomercial frontman -- but you'll remember him as the pitchman for Oxi-Clean and OrangeGlo, the guy with the big beard and loud, annoying voice. Rest in peace, Billy.

But take notice: an awful lot of attention is being paid to his passing. He was the pitchman for cleaning products in infomercials, for crying out loud. No disrespect intended for the newly-departed, but does he really warrant the barrage of coverage his death is getting? What accounts for this press coverage?

In my opinion, it's simple: the American Sheeple need first to be distracted from the passage of the cap-and-trade fiasco. They do not want you to know about the 300-page amendment that was added to the bill at the last minute.

They do not want you to know that, under this bill, if you sell your house, an environmental group is required to come out and "rate" your house, and you will not be allowed to sell your house until you "modernize" your appliances and have a certified "green" home. Liberty? You rest in peace, will you?

Jingle. Jingle. Jingle.

I am willing to bet that the conspiracy-theorists out there are having a field day. Michael and Billy both die under strange and still-unexplained circumstances? Anyone see the Men in Black around their homes?

Jingle. Jingle. Jingle, JINGLE.

I will be willing to bet there is more -- much more -- coming down the pike that will require further distractions.

What will those distractiosn be? It is anybody's guess at this point.

Rest in peace, Farrah, Michael, and Billy. Rest in peace. At least they do not have to worry about all this any longer. Just rest in peace.

And apparently, I may as well say this while I have my First Amendment right to do so: Rest in peace, America.

At least, the Free America I once knew and loved.

Which Fantasy Author Am I?

Took this test: HERE.

Urg. Not pleased with the results. Too late to go into it tonight, though. More thoughts later....

Your result for Which fantasy writer are you?...

China Miéville (b. 1972)

7 High-Brow, 3 Violent, -3 Experimental and -31 Cynical!

Congratulations! You are High-Brow, Violent, Traditional and Romantic! These concepts are defined below.

China Miéville writes in the British fantasy tradition of authors like Mervyn Peake and Michael Moorcock, a tradition which is a little darker than the Tolkien kind, but Miéville is also a great renewer, as he has taken care to challenge, for example, race-related (or, to be exact, species-related) stereotypes in fantasy. His great breakthrough came with the award-winning novel Perdido Street Station (2000), which is set in the sprawling city of New Crobuzon in the secondary world Bas-Lag. Apart from its urban setting, Perdido Street Station also differ from Tolkien-style fantasy by taking place in an era reminiscent of the Victorian age rather than the typical quasi-medieval setting of so-called high fantasy. This means that Miéville has the opportunity to explore his socialist beliefs in a fantasy environment, even if both Perdido Street Station and its two sequels also feature monsters, adventures and such.

Setting his book in a rather dictatorical society and occasionally spinning his sories around resistance against an oppressive government means that Miéville's books sometimes contain rather horrible violence, made all the scarier because it's often conducted legally by a ruling government. This also makes the boks rather romantic; although the struggle is difficult, the struggle continues and whether you are a socialist like Miéville or not, it's easy to sympathize with the message that the world can be changed for the better. It should also be pointed out that although Miéville is often inventive and has a love for spicing up his prose with archaic words, his books are, narratively speaking, traditional adventure stories. Actually, Miéville has made a point of taking genres such as the pirate story and the Western story and retelling them in a fantasy environment.

Still, Miéville has brought fantasy to new literary heights and can be said to represent hope for the genre's future.

You are also a lot like Michael Moorcock.

If you want something more gentle, try Susan Cooper.

If you'd like a challenge, try your exact opposite, Orson Scott Card.

Your score

This is how to interpret your score: Your attitudes have been measured on four different scales, called 1) High-Brow vs. Low-Brow, 2) Violent vs. Peaceful, 3) Experimental vs. Traditional and 4) Cynical vs. Romantic. Imagine that when you were born, you were in a state of innocence, a tabula rasa who would have scored zero on each scale. Since then, a number of circumstances (including genetical, cultural and environmental factors) have pushed you towards either end of these scales. If you're at 45 or -45 you would be almost entirely cynical, low-brow or whatever. The closer to zero you are, the less extreme your attitude. However, you should always be more of either (eg more romantic than cynical). Please note that even though High-Brow, Violent, Experimental and Cynical have positive numbers (1 through 45) and their opposites negative numbers (-1 through -45), this doesn't mean that either quality is better. All attitudes have their positive and negative sides, as explained below.

High-Brow vs. Low-Brow

You received 7 points, making you more High-Brow than Low-Brow. Being high-browed in this context refers to being more fascinated with the sort of art that critics and scholars tend to favour, rather than the best-selling kind. At their best, high-brows are cultured, able to appreciate the finer nuances of literature and not content with simplifications. At their worst they are, well, snobs.

Violent vs. Peaceful

You received 3 points, making you more Violent than Peaceful. Please note that violent in this context does not mean that you, personally, are prone to violence. This scale is a measurement of a) if you are tolerant to violence in fiction and b) whether you see violence as a means that can be used to achieve a good end. If you are, and you do, then you are violent as defined here. At their best, violent people are the heroes who don't hesitate to stop the villain threatening innocents by means of a good kick. At their worst, they are the villains themselves.

Experimental vs. Traditional

You received -3 points, making you more Traditional than Experimental. Your position on this scale indicates if you're more likely to seek out the new and unexpected or if you are more comfortable with the familiar, especially in regards to culture. Note that traditional as defined here does not equal conservative, in the political sense. At their best, traditional people don't change winning concepts, favouring storytelling over empty poses. At their worst, they are somewhat narrow-minded.

Cynical vs. Romantic

You received -31 points, making you more Romantic than Cynical. Your position on this scale indicates if you are more likely to be wary, suspicious and skeptical to people around you and the world at large, or if you are more likely to believe in grand schemes, happy endings and the basic goodness of humankind. It is by far the most vaguely defined scale, which is why you'll find the sentence "you are also a lot like x" above. If you feel that your position on this scale is wrong, then you are probably more like author x. At their best, romantic people are optimistic, willing to work for a good cause and inspiring to their peers. At their worst, they are easily fooled and too easily lead.

Author picture by the talented artist "Molosovsky". Visit http://www.flickr.com/people/25360041@N06/ for more!

Take Which fantasy writer are you? at HelloQuizzy

Make Your Own Album Cover

The LW and I have started up our own bands! In fact, we've already got our first albums planned out!

Well, really, I got tagged earlier this week with a fun little random game: Make Your Own Album Cover. I spent an hour or so playing around with this little game and was pleasantly entertained by the results.

O.K. Who am I kidding? I was actually giggling at some of the results. My LW even got into the act. I've posted the best couple album covers below, as well as the instructions so that you can play along.

1. Group name: Go to Wikipedia and click on the random article button (or click here instead). The name of the article, whatever it may be, is the name of your musical group.
2. Album name: Go to www.quotationspage.com and click on "Random Quotes" (or click here instead). Scroll down to the last quotation on the page. The last four or five words of the quotation forms your album name (alright, I did play loose with this one and take the last two words once).
3. Album artwork: Go to Flickr and click on the "last seven days" link (or click here instead). The third picture on the page -- regardless of what it is -- is your album artwork.

Now that you have your three main pieces, put it all together with some form of graphic editing program. I went cheap-o and used Corel Photo House.

These first two are mine. The third is my LW's.




Yeah, yeah.... I said it was cheap software.... So sue me!

Now get out there and form your own bands!

Punctuation!?

My battle with Blogpression continues, but it seems to be getting a little bit better.

For now, take a gander at this:

You Are An Exclamation Point

You are a bundle of... well, something. You're often a bundle of joy, passion, or drama. You're loud, brash, and outgoing. If you think it, you say it. Definitely not the quiet type, you really don't keep a lot to yourself. You're lively and inspiring. People love to be around your energy. (But they do secretly worry that you'll spill their secrets without even realizing it.) You excel in: Public speaking You get along best with: the Dash

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

I am not so sure how well this pegged me. I guess I will have to rely on my LW to let me know. I will let you know when I find out more, I suppose.

Sanity Checklist

I knew that I could at least rely upon my good buddy in Salt Lake to help get my sanity back on the right track. He performed that role on my mission and continues to do so today.

I am sure these were taken from an office e-mail somewhere, but I had never seen them before. They're a step in the right direction for me, though. Props to you, J.--and thanks, Brother.

In fact, I think I will choose one or two of these to do today!

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice !
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
5. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For: marijuana'
6. Finish all your sentences with '...in accordance with the prophecy.'
7. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
8. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
9. Specify--repeatedly--that your drive-through order is 'to go.'
10. Sing along at the opera.
11. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
12. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
13. When the money comes out the atm, scream, 'I won! I won!'
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling 'run for your lives! They're loose!'
15. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'

NaNoWriMo 2008 - Update (final)

VICTORY!

Hey, I did it. I reserve the right to shout it from the housetops if I want to.

That's right. 50,000 words in 30 days. Well, technically 50,646 was the official count. Yep. I wrote a novel.

Of course, I am not done with it, but I have a heck of a good start on it. (Now I just need to keep the dedication to stay with it and finish it up.)

My LW also finished up; of course, she beat me by about 30 hours. It was the first win for both of us. I just want to tell you -- I am prouder of her than I am of me. She did an amazing job. Not only did she finish up, but she also kept me on task and pulled me toward the finish line several times.

-------------------------------
Interesting stats: I kept track of my word count every day and I will tell you, if you ever want to do this yourself . . . do not wind up with seven days of zero words. What happens if you do miss seven days? You wind up writing 28,742 words in the last nine days of the competition.

That's right. Here's my word count day-by-day, starting on November 22, 2008:

• 4,143
• 2,516
• 5,145
• 785
• 1,519
• 3,626
• 6,380
• 1,422
• 3,206

And let me tell you, the 5,145- and 6,380-word count days? They were painful. Very painful. They certainly made the 1,667 word-per-day suggestion seem reasonable.

Curse life and those missing seven days.

But it is over now for another year.

And tomorrow? Tomorrow I start thinking about the story for the next year. 335 days to come up with a story. That, and I will be back to blogging. Ok, my family will also see a happy me again.

But tonight I am icing down my hands.

See you then.