Quote of the Day -- Feb.19, 2009

A government big enough to give you everything you want is also a government big enough to take everything you’ve got.
~Gerald Ford, Address to a joint session of Congress (12 August 1974)

Time Travel

Warning: You may wish not to read this post unless armed with a pair of safety goggles.

Wow. I've lost nearly 60 hours out of my life.

I will tell you: there is nothing quite like a strong bout of stomach-related ills to make time pass quickly.

OK. Maybe "quickly" is the wrong word, because as you are sitting on the floor of the bathroom, holding a cold washcloth to your face and neck, all while... well, you get the idea. While all that is going on, the time passes very very slowly.

No, while that is happening you are fervently praying for a quick death.

But looking back from the other side of illness? Wow. Where did the time go? I had so many blog posts I wanted to make. So much I wanted to do.

And I am not the only one to so suffer. This may actually be a blog-spread stomach virus. Everyone I know has had it, and most of us are bloggers (or at least connected by e-mail). I know two of my close friends in SLC have suffered through the same 60 hours I did. Other bloggers have had it staggered on-and-off around the past week or so.

Sheesh.

Now you know why I recommended the safety goggles. I may be over it, but who knows what contaminants are floating your way via the internet.

Good luck to you and yours.

Keep your head up, and out of --in the words of the Immortal Bill Cosby-- the place that was never meant for your face.

Quote of the Day

"An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life."
~Robert Heinlein, "Beyond this Horizon"

I do not tend to agree with many of the Dean's socialist positions. On this one, however, he is spot on.

Thoughts?

Nuptial Nuttiness

I must start out this entry with an admission: I am a Wal-Mart shopaholic.

The store that everyone loves to hate (at least, everyone says they love to hate) is a guilty pleasure. I have to admit, I like those $5 DVD feature films. I like the cheap t-shirts. I even like the $10 watches.

And really, don't we all like throwing on the hole-filled sweatpants, baggy t-shirt, and flip-flops (yes, in January) to sneak in a shopping trip at 11:30 p.m.?

Please say yes; I can't be the only one.

But a couple in Utah have gone a little too far . . . .

Now, I once spent a great deal of time in Utah. I still consider Utah my home away from home. Too many school memories there, after all, to simply cast away.

But come on, Utah. You need to disavow this couple RIGHT NOW or you very well may be entitled to the name: White Trash Capitol of America.

This story gives "white trash" a whole new name. I am sorry, but it's true.

ST. GEORGE, Utah (AP) — To save money, a Wal-Mart assistant married his sweetheart at his workplace, standing up next to the barbecue accessories in the garden center of the store.

It was the first Wal-Mart wedding for 5th District Judge Eric Ludlow, who administered the vows Saturday at the Bloomington store in St. George.

Wal-Mart auto department employee Greg Scott Ford exchanged vows with Corissa Otto, whom he met two Valentine Days ago.

The marriage makes for a family of nine — she had six children, he had two, and together they have one more.

Many thanks to my buddy JR for this story.

---UPDATE---
O.K. After reading a bit more of the story, I guess I have to dial it back a bit. It seems they truly are victims of the economy.

But still . . . is a visit to the Justice of the Peace more expensive than this?

Different strokes, I suppose, is the best answer.

Crisis? Really?

All we have heard since November 2008 is the worsening state of the country's economy. All we have heard for the past two weeks is how the passage of the stimulus spendulous package was critical for the survival of the country, essential to stem the coming catastrophe, and likely the only thing to keep Satan's gateway from Hell from opening and allowing a demonic possession of the entire Earth. Something akin to Gozer crawling out of a New York refrigerator and ultimately causing a marshmallow explosion of epic proportions.

O.K. Maybe the last was a bit of hyperbole.

Maybe.

But now what are we hearing?

From Reuters today:

President Barack Obama's aides warned Americans on Sunday not to expect instant miracles from the $787 billion economic stimulus bill he will sign this week, but said it would help eventually.

I'm sorry, Mr. President, but did you not just spend two weeks telling us that our utter destruction was emminent if this bill did not pass? Telling us of the catastrophe that was certain, unless the bill was passed and boost economic growth?

Now you and your staff is telling us that the catastrophe has not, in fact, been averted? That the economic crisis is still getting worse even though the bill passed?

My guess? My guess is that the Republicans who voted against this bill are being set up for the fall. I will predict that if when this economic boost fails, Mr. President and the Democrats will point fingers and say, "It would have worked if it had been bigger, with more money involved, but the eee-vil Republicans would not let us pass anything bigger and better." (Aside: That's right, I said "Eee-vil. As in the froo-its of the De-veel." Gotta love the Axe Murderer.)

So back to the seemingly still-looming economic Armageddon. I'm going to guess that the Prez, in all reality, does NOT believe it will have much of an effect: something on the scale of a speed-bump in front of a runaway tractor-trailer rig in a steep mountain canyon.

Why do I say this? Take a look at this:

After pushing Congress for weeks to hurry up and pass the massive $787 billion stimulus bill, President Obama promptly took off for a three-day holiday getaway.
. . . .
The president plans to spend the Presidents' Day weekend in the Windy City, and is not expected to sign the bill until Tuesday, when he travels to Denver to discuss his economic plan.

I'm sorry, WHAT?!?

HERE'S the story in full if you're interested.

Remember how frantic the Prez and the Dems were to pass this bill last week? The orgiastic furor almost violated the laws of physics. 1,071 pages of text went largely unread because of the looming catastrophe.

And as soon as it's passed, he flits off to Chicago.

Excuse me, Mr. President. This is your job now, y'know?

Oh wait; I forgot. Out of approximately 144 working days in the Senate, he was absent a tremendous percentage of the time. I believe that at one time, the estimate was 80% missed votes.

"So?" I hear you say? So.... He's just working the hours he's used to working, apparently.

You see, it seems the Commander in Chief has not yet figured out that this is a working federal position, not a federally-funded vacation. In office less than a full month and he has already taken a holiday. Man. I remember back when President Bush II took work home to his ranch and actually worked on vacation. Remember the outrage and screaming that took place? I think the echo can still be heard in some corners of Crawford.

But here? "Awww.... Look at the cute couple there. Oh! Isn't that...?"

Yep. That's the Prez and Mrs. Fashion-plate, Michelle Onassis Obama carrying that stylish doggie bag. (Aside: Wait! "Doggie bag"? Did I miss the adoption of the First Canine? Did I actually miss that story? [Yawn] Oh yes, that's right. I DON'T CARE! )

As much as I detest Nancy Pelosi, at least she had the dignity to finish her work (albeit overly-rushed) before she headed off on her vacation. Maybe her tickets were non-refundable.

Or else she did not have her own 747 at her beck and call.

Oh wait! I have it now.... As a sitting President, he must get President's Day off!
Somehow I have missed reading that part of Article II.

Back to the USSR!

Show me round your snow peaked
mountains way down south
Take me to your daddy's farm
Let me hear your balalaika's ringing out
Come and keep your comrade warm.
I'm back in the U.S.S.R. U.S.S.A. boy
You don't know how lucky you are boys

Welcome to the United Socialist States of America, Comrades!

Where's my tinfoil hat?

Well, the spending bill passed the Senate. Now the House and Senate have to compromise our future our Constitution our country on a bill to present to the President.

I wonder how much more that will cost us? And what will it cost our children?

One of my colleagues e-mailed me and opined: "The Democrats are going to be in a world of hurt in two years."

My response: "Are they? Are there enough people that care about this to make a difference in two years? And what will the country even look like in two years? Will we even have free elections any longer?"

Yes, probably hyperbole. But is it really? What will history really say about this period of time? Or will it say anything at all, because the "victors" will not want the rabble to know the truth, that -- once -- we were free? How many of our freedoms and our liberties will we still have?

And tell me this: How can so many stupid people be leading our government?

Or an even better question: How can we keep electing these same stupid people to positions of leadership in our government?

And because we do, do we deserve what we get?

That's a scary thought. Think about all of the stories in the Scriptures, where a people "get what they deserve." It usually does not end well, does it? Especially in the Book of Mormon, everyt time the people are as prideful and stiffnecked as we Americans seem to have become. Do we really need to be humbled this way? Honestly?

Are we intelligent adults, we voters? Or are we sheep?

Actually . . . maybe you should not answer that. I am scared to know the answer. The Gadiantons are no longer at the door. They're already inside and sitting at the dinner table, folks.

Because I do not know how to say "Baaaaaa" in Russian, I'll simply say, "до свидания."

Heroes

I met a real hero today.

That's a word that has lost its meaning. It is so over-used these days; everyone from sports stars to pop stars are called "heroes."

Hero: n. [L. heros; Gr. a demigod.]

1. A man of distinguished valor, intrepidity or enterprise in danger; as a hero in arms.

2. A great, illustrious or extraordinary person; as a hero in learning.
~1828 Webster

I am sorry, sports fans, but Michael Jordan and Brett Favre? Not heroes. I do not care what roles they play, what songs they sing, or how many times they have checked themselves into rehab, I cannot think of many -- if any -- pop culture "icons" (for lack of a better word) that deserve the moniker of "hero." Certainly none that I would want the Horde to emulate. (Aside: I mean, no matter how heroic their characters, do you want a son to grow up to be like Christian Bale or Robert Downey, Jr.? Really? Are Miley Cyrus and Lindsay Lohan the daughters you want to have?)

This man, however, was in his mid-fifties, I would say. He was career Army: twenty years of hard work. We are not talking a desk pilot, here. This man served twenty long years, through some of the worst days in our modern history--1961-1981: a lot of crap went down in those two decades.

This man, in his words, had a lot wrong with him. "I've spent most of the last several months in bed; I'm in bad shape," he told me. His wife sat there with tears in his eyes as he talked how much time he spent at the VA Hospital, and how much he owed to her--his second wife. "She's saved my life," he admitted. He went on to explain that he was fully combat disabled.

This means he was not disabled by falling off a ladder in a supply warehouse somewhere stateside. As he told me, "I'm disabled because of combat."

Needless to say, I thanked him profusely for his service. He accepted it gratefully; I told him that I hoped he heard it often. He confessed that he didn't hear it much, but a lot more than he used to hear it.

I almost wept, hearing that. His humility was evident. The kind of humility that his experiences would give a person. A truly scriptural humility. The kind I would expect Captain Moroni to have had. But still, I almost wept -- with sadness, as much as gratitude and amazement.

You have got to be kidding me. Here we have someone who has almost given the last full measure, someone who has protected our Liberty and way of life, and he receives little gratitude? I would like to believe that it is because he does not walk around in his uniform. I rationalized that people just do not know he is a veteran, let alone a combat-injured veteran. I also, sadly, realized that it was more likely the result of political correctness: it just is not fashionable to respect the warrior.

Then, he said something that pushed him up another notch or two in my book: "I don't want a free ride. I'm paying all my creditors back."

He would not even entertain the thought of a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy. He was here to see if a Chapter 13 would work for him, and if he could pay his creditors back at 100%.

Do you know how often I hear that?

Usually it is "How can we screw over these jerks that have taken so much of my money?" or words to that effect. Now, sometimes this attitude is almost warranted, because there are a lot of predators out there, preying on the stupid and uninformed in our society. But it is not always the case; probably not even the majority of the time.

But he was adamant. "I'm paying back everything I owe. I just need a little breathing room; I need the bleeding to stop just a little so that I can get on my feet and start paying them all back, everything to everyone I owe."

Wow. I cannot express what a feeling I had. He had nearly given his all to his country and here he was, not asking for a handout, not asking for "his due," not even really asking for much help. All he wanted was some breathing room so that he could pay everyone back at 100%.

I do not often see heroes. Combat veterans do not normally scream out their records for all to hear and praise, so I do not often get to thank them for their service and sacrifices.

Add on to that someone who does not want to pursue what others would think they were owed, who do not want to take advantage of the system? Strange and uncommon in itself.

Together? A rarity. I feel as if a dragon has just crossed the road in front of me, majestic, stately, and truly unexpected.

Not only do I thank you, sir, I salute you.

These are the heroes I, as a father, want for the Horde's role models.

Not Michael Jordan. Not Miley Cyrus.

But HEROES

Trust Me. I Talk Good.

As anyone who knows me well will tell you, there is little else that raises my hackles like really bad grammar, poor spelling, and inaccurate puncutation. Both of these things send my proofreading brain spinning.

I almost fell off the bus today because of this problem.

There is a new business in town. Apparently, it is one of these outfits that performs commercial, albeit medical-type, scans for early warning of cancer, heart disease, and the like. Obviously, in this economy, they could be considered a luxury expenditure, and have therefore increased their advertising presence accordingly.

Well... I am relatively certain that this was not the kind of advertising effect they wanted.

You see, as I was sitting on the bus this morning, my eyes wandered up to the advertising along the space between the window and roof of the bus. Here, right in front of me, was an advertisement for this body-scan outfit. (Aside: Perhaps I am being too charitable in not printing their name. Maybe, just maybe, I need the extra points that charity could get me. Or maybe I am simply weak. Whatever it is, forgive me, because I am going to withhold the name. But I do believe it is a national company; if you see the same kind of advertising, please let me know.)

I quickly read the new advertisement. Then the mental nails scratched down the chalkboard in my brain. I re-read it to make sure I had not misunderstood. Then I read it a third time in utter disbelief. Surely they did not mean....

Here's what I saw (alas, if only I'd had a camera with me)--it was an ad for a lung scan, $299.00 if I remember correctly, and the text was as follows:

Breathe easier.
Get screened.
Their is a good chance it will save your life.

Excuse me? What?!

You're serious? A professional, likely multi-state, medically-related company does not have the sense to proofread their advertising? I do not know whether to hope they had an outside advertising company help them or not. Which is worse: to make this mistake in-house and not catch it? or to hire someone so inept as to make this mistake and then not catch the mistake in the draft?

Plain and simple: would you trust these people too to tell you weather whether you had cancerous cells in you're your lungs?

Really now, would you?

And actually, the second thought I had was even worse: how many people read that advertisement every day and see nothing wrong with it? Truthfully, is that not the actual state of society? of public education? or am I being too cynical?

This entire event has actually caused a slight headache this morning. Sharp pains at the base of my skull.

I'm going to go lie down for awhile, I believe.

Lie, I said. Not lay. Their There is a difference, you know.

Call to Arms

I know there are a lot of people out there that may not like Glenn Beck's style. As you probably know, I am not one of those type.

And before some of you pull out the "ignorant hating racist" card, just stop it.

Regardless of what you think of him, the numbers and facts just don't lie. Take a look at this video and consider what the heck we are doing to this country, and to the world as a whole. (Hint: National bankruptcy may be coming, and it ain't the kind that's going to make my career any better.)

Take a look with an open mind. O-PEN.

These charts are much simpler / less-complex than Al Gore's hocus-pocus. And this is a crisis much more real, much more imminent, and much more critical than the potential hoax of "climate change."

Watch this and then tell me it ain't a conspiracy, somewhere, somehow. I do not know who or how, but I can tell you why: Power. Plain and simple.

Watch and weep. Better yet: watch, wake up, and call a friend or two. Or even your Senator. Wake them up, too.

18 And these Gadianton robbers, who were among the Lamanites, did infest the land, insomuch that the inhabitants thereof began to hide up their treasures in the earth; and they became slippery, because the Lord had cursed the land, that they could not hold them, nor retain them again.
19 And it came to pass that there were sorceries, and witchcrafts, and magics; and the power of the evil one was wrought upon all the face of the land.
~Mormon 1:18-19

Firearms Refresher Course

My buddy in Salt Lake City sent me this little thought-provoking list entitled "Firearms Refresher Course." At first I thought it was going to be an advertisement for either a safety course or a firearms use/training class. You know, something from a Community Education offering or a promotional gimmick for a local gun range. I could not quite decide why he was sending it to me; it was not as if I could head to Utah to take a class. I figured it was some grammatical or typographical error he wanted me to laugh at.

When I opened it up, this quotation leapt off the page at me:

'Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not.'
~ Thomas Jefferson

The entire refresher is below the fold. Enjoy.

Honestly? I hope it makes you think.

FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE

1. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
2. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
3. Colt: The original point and click interface.
4. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
5. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
6. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
7. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
8. If you don't know your rights, you don't have any.
9. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
10. The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights Reserved.
11. What part of 'shall not be infringed' do you not understand?
12. The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.
13. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
14. Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians.
15. Know guns, know peace, know safety. No guns, no peace, no safety.
16. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
17. 9-1-1: Government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.
18. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
19. Criminals love gun control; it makes their jobs safer.
20. If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.
21. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.
22. You have only the rights you are willing to fight for.
23. Enforce the gun control laws we ALREADY have; don't make more.
24. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
25. The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.

The End of the Tunnel?

It has been awhile, gentle reader. But I think I'm back. or almost, at least.

I was going to entitle this post "Coming Out" but then I figured such a title would generate lots of the wrong sort of traffic.

But what does "The End of the Tunnel" mean? It means I think I can finally see that glimmer of light. The glorious dawn to the dark night of Blogpression.

You see, I was able to write this morning. I was able to write and it seemed to open the floodgates.

You see, ever since the end of NaNoWriMo--that is, ever since 11:30 p.m. on November 30, 2008--I have been unable to write anything of substance. No creative writing. No journal entries. I have even had difficulty completing essential client letters. I do not even want to THINK about the trials that the Sunday School lessons and other Church work have been.

But this morning as I stood in the shower, an entirely new scene for my NaNoWriMo novel presented itself, full-blown and complete, in my head. [Aside-- My LW and I have the same creative oddity: a hot shower in a steam-filled bathroom causes our creative juices to begin flowing. Are we alone in that? Maybe science could provide an answer.... But many was the time in November that I would reach a total impasse with a scene or a little piece of character development. I could be blocked all night long, but within minutes of stepping into a hot shower, BAM! There was the phrase or image I needed. I took to keeping a notepad in the bathroom so that I could write the words down as soon as possible. And yes, I do apologize for the image of me, in the shower, writing.]

It came fast and forceful, like a sledgehammer. I could actually SEE the characters interacting and hear their voices again. There were even smells in the scene. I quickly finished my ablutions and grabbed my notebook and started scribbling.

The mental floodgates were opening.

That scene led to another. Phrase by phrase, image by image, I quickly filled three pages of my notebook.

I did not want to stop.

Let me repeat that: I did not want to stop. After a month and a half, I actually wanted to write. On top of that, I was actually receiving words from my muse.

I am working on some other, future posts, delving a bit deeper into the reasons behind my blockage. I have been analyzing myself for the past few days and I think that is part of what helped thaw the icejam. Do not get me wrong: there are still some mighty big chunks of frozen imagery in my brain, and they're banging around with the randomly floating wooden words, crushing most of them and only occasionally letting a log through here and there. But it is breaking down.

And it feels good.

I think I may be back.

Punctuation!?

My battle with Blogpression continues, but it seems to be getting a little bit better.

For now, take a gander at this:

You Are An Exclamation Point

You are a bundle of... well, something. You're often a bundle of joy, passion, or drama. You're loud, brash, and outgoing. If you think it, you say it. Definitely not the quiet type, you really don't keep a lot to yourself. You're lively and inspiring. People love to be around your energy. (But they do secretly worry that you'll spill their secrets without even realizing it.) You excel in: Public speaking You get along best with: the Dash

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

I am not so sure how well this pegged me. I guess I will have to rely on my LW to let me know. I will let you know when I find out more, I suppose.

Sanity Checklist

I knew that I could at least rely upon my good buddy in Salt Lake to help get my sanity back on the right track. He performed that role on my mission and continues to do so today.

I am sure these were taken from an office e-mail somewhere, but I had never seen them before. They're a step in the right direction for me, though. Props to you, J.--and thanks, Brother.

In fact, I think I will choose one or two of these to do today!

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice !
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
5. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For: marijuana'
6. Finish all your sentences with '...in accordance with the prophecy.'
7. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
8. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
9. Specify--repeatedly--that your drive-through order is 'to go.'
10. Sing along at the opera.
11. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
12. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
13. When the money comes out the atm, scream, 'I won! I won!'
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling 'run for your lives! They're loose!'
15. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'

Blogpression

I apologize for the lengthy hiatus I have taken. I have a good reason.

Alright -- perhaps not a GOOD reason, but a reason.

I have "blogpression."

I realize that I may catch flak from those of you who have suffered true clinical depression. Well, flak away; I believe that I am currently in the midst of a form of depression.

It isn't writer's block: I've been there before and this ain't it. It also isn't burn-out; I was pretty burned out after NaNoWriMo, but this? This is something different.

I am not sure what it is. Perhaps I am still feeling a little post-election let-down. Maybe it's the cold outside? A rare form of influenza? Whatever it is, I just cannot seem to get up the "oomph" to post a blog entry. I still have some ideas, but they just are not popping up as frequently as they used to do.

Is this common with bloggers? Does it always happen at some point? The constant gasping for mental breath?

I want to blog; I want to share my thoughts with you. I really do. I just cannot seem to actually get the words down in pixels, though. Not even a post about religion. Not even something humorous, pithy, or sarcastic. There's always something else that I can do instead. The mere thought of blogging is as daunting as preparing for a marathon. And all of this is really bothering me.

And it's not just writing; I don't believe I have visited my "daily read" blogs more than maybe twice since Christmas Eve. Again, it's not a lack of interest -- just a lack of... something else.

Please. PLEASE, gentle readers. If you have any thoughts or suggestions -- or even just words of empathy -- please let me know.

Yes, I know this sounds like a shameless plug to get some responses. I don't mean it to be. I just need some of you in the blogosphere to give me some hope that this will pass and that this blog won't just turn into a stagnant pool of muck.

Please?

Merry Christmas!

I just wanted to take a moment from my hectic day (yes, I am at the office, even though the courts are closed today) and wish all of you, my friends, a Merry Christmas. May you get the gifts you want, give the gifts your friends and family need, and may you carry with you the spirit of Christ. After all, it is because of Him that we celebrate at this time of year.

May His love -- He who is to be called "Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." -- May His love fill your heart and mind, and may you receive all the blessings you need and deserve.

I will see you on the other side.

(Where did I put the Scotch Tape?)

Global What?!?

Walking from the bus stop to the office today I had the thought: "Boy, I would take some of that California weather right now." Then I hear from a co-worker that her family in Los Angeles is walking around in parkas. I guess that 40 degrees, to them, is cold right now.

I cannot even wish for Las Vegas weather.

My friends in Salt Lake City are reporting lows in the low teens and single digits. Blowing drifts, high winds.

We are experiencing much the same around here, including record lows for December.

All that leads me to ask . . . Where the heck is this Global Warming thing?

Sorry, should I have said "conspiracy" rather than "thing"? Or is that too politically incorrect?

Do not get me wrong, I can and will accept that climate change happens.

But I cannot and will not accept that climate change happens primarily because of mankind.

You see, there's this big nuclear reactor up in the sky that has just a little bit to do with temperature, weather patterns, etc.

Compared to that, we humans are akin to parasites living off the flaky skin and dandruff of our host creature.

Case in point: When was the last time that any three so-called meteorologists actually managed to call a seven- or ten-day forecast accurately? Honestly? And then you expect me to believe that they can predict weather patterns and climate change out for one hundred years?

Really? Do you think I am that stupid and/or gullible?

I ain't buyin' your bridge in New York, or the big green lady in the harbor.

Are we really such a self-important bunch of creatures to believe that we can really have such a massive effect on a living entity so much larger than us? This is not to say we do not have an effect, but come on, really? We are going to destroy the world? We are really that self-centered, that egotistical?

Oh wait, we have to consider Al Gore. Maybe he is.

I know I am not. I am still humbled when I look up at the multitude of stars at night. I am still humbled standing at the edge of a canyon, looking down at the majesty of God's Creation. I am still humbled when I look at my hands and consider just how complex a mechanism the hand truly is. I am still humbled when I watch a storm's fury: waves tearing homes from the earth, winds destroying anything a human can erect, snow and fire snuffing out life easier than a birthday candle.

Stand against that power, O Man!, and weep. Stand against that power, and die. The chaotic life cycle and natural rhythms of the Earth are much more than we little men could ever hope to create, not to mention the effects of the Sun.

I may not be as humble as I should be, but I am still humble enough to recognize the power of God's Hand, and the ineffectiveness of Man's will against that power. I do not choose to offend God by attributing to mankind a power that we do not have. I do not choose to worship at the Gore's altar or bow to the preachings of the Warming Religion.

I choose to worship a true God and a religion of real hope, love, and truth.

Do not tell me we are rapidly destroying the Earth. Do not tell me we're all going to roast to death in a oven of our own creation.

My toes are still frozen from my commute.

Now where's my hot chocolate?

UPDATE:
Apparently I am not alone. Just saw this little piece--

CNN Meteorologist Chad Myers had never bought into the notion that man can alter the climate.... Myers, an American Meteorological Society certified meteorologist, explained on CNN’s Dec. 18 “Lou Dobbs Tonight” that the whole idea is arrogant and mankind was in danger of dying from other natural events more so than global warming.

“You know, to think that we could affect weather all that much is pretty arrogant,” Myers said. “Mother Nature is so big, the world is so big, the oceans are so big – I think we’re going to die from a lack of fresh water or we’re going to die from ocean acidification before we die from global warming, for sure.”

Wow. I feel validated. And he is not alone either; the article says that a second CNN meteorologist has taken issue with the whole global warming conspiracy religion theory.

And I am still waiting for my hot chocolate.

Why we do it

OK. I'll admit that there are a lot of things wrong with the practice of law. There are also a lot of things wrong with representing consumers in Bankruptcy practice.

(smirk)Bet you're all surprised to hear me say that.(/smirk)

No, really. It is the absolute truth!

But I got a note from my buddy in Salt Lake this morning that made me shake my head. In a good way. All I could say as I shared it with some of the other employees of the firm was, "THIS is why we do it, day in and day out."

I will not go into the full story, but suffice it to say he had a client who was about to lose her house, sending herself and her three children out onto the streets two weeks before Christmas. The only thing that would save her was to receive a discharge from her Chapter 13 case.

She had gone through the wringer in 2007 and 2008; divorced, sole support of the family, left with HIS debts to pay off, children with serious chronic illnesses -- illnesses that affected her ability to work regular full-time hours, facing shut-off of gas and other utilities. She had received periodic help from family members in Mexico, who sent her what little they could scrape together to help her survive. She, admittedly and arguably, violated a court order by sending her tax refund this year back to her family members in Mexico who were now, themselves, in serious financial trouble.

The one high note? She scraped together everything she could so that she could receive her United States Citizenship. That, more than anything, convinced my buddy to really, really go to the mat for her. (That's what HE says. Actually, I believe that the thought of a homeless woman and her children at Christmas was what really affected his decision. The Citizenship efforts just pushed it over the edge.)

But this poor woman caught a little break: she was eligible to receive housing assistance, but the catch? She was only eligible if her Chapter 13 bankruptcy was completed.

The only way to complete the case was to keep making payments for a few more months (with money she no longer had) and to pay in her 2007 tax refunds (with money she no longer had). The only way out was to either convert her case to a Chapter 7 case (which would cost time and money she did not have) or to attempt what is called a "hardship discharge."

Simply put, this can be granted when certain conditions are met -- notably that the Debtor can no longer continue in the case because of circumstances beyond her control BUT that she is in all other respects eligible for a discharge. It is an extreme solution and, therefore, not attempted or granted very often.

But my buddy attempted it. He admits that he was not too optimistic, but he attempted it. There was little in the way of opposition to the motion; the Judge and Trustee, however, shared one concern: The use of the 2007 tax refunds in blatant violation of a prior court order.

My buddy says that he stood right up there, took several deep breaths while looking the judge in the eyes, and admitted to the Court that yes, while there was a violated order, there were good (read: humane) reasons for the violation and that in all other respects, she qualified for a hardship discharge. And then he sat down.

The Trustee's attorney then stood and essentially agreed with him, that taken as a whole, this woman deserved to get the help she had requested.

The judge looked at them both and asked, "You mean, you want me to re-write the bankruptcy code to make it 'fair'?" My buddy just smiled at the judge and the Trustee's attorney back-pedaled. The judge smiled back and said, "Well, I've done it before; Motion granted."

My buddy tells me it felt like he had been kicked in the chest; he could hardly breathe. He says that prior to the hearing his client had asked what the magic words were; he told her "Motion granted. If we hear that, we're good." He says he heard her gasp when the judge ruled. By the time they reached the hallway, his client was sobbing in joy, grabbed him in a bear hug, and thanked him for the Christmas present. She called his office afterwards to thank him again.

The joy that woman felt? I have seen it a few times in my own clients. I know exactly what my buddy was feeling.

It is the feeling you get when an elderly woman thanks you for saving her house from foreclosure saying, "This was the first house my husband and I lived in. It's where he died, and where I want to go to sleep for the last time. You saved it for me."

It is the feeling you get when a client drops to his knees in your office and repeats "God bless you. Jesus bless you." Over and over.

It is the feeling you get when a client calls you after a hearing and says she is grateful for your help "against a corrupt society." Who assures you that you are helping people whose lives hang in the balance, and that while the services you provide are often taken for granted, she does not take you for granted.

It does not happen very often, not in Bankruptcy, not in Litigation, not even in Criminal law. Not as often as it should, in my opinion, but them I admit to a certain bias.

It does not happen very often, but it does happen, and you begin to understand a little of King Benjamin's admonition from the Book of Mormon: "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." Mosiah 2:17.

Due to the nature of the Practice, it does not happen often, but when it does?

It makes a lot of the other crap seem almost worth it.

The Kiss

All I can say is that I want to know what is involved in this guy's technique:

BEIJING (Reuters) – A young woman in southern China has partially lost her hearing after her boyfriend ruptured her eardrum during an excessively passionate kiss, local media reported Monday.

The 20-something girl from Zhuhai, in southern Guangdong province, went to hospital completely deaf in her left ear, the China Daily said, citing a report in a local newspaper.

"The kiss reduced pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear," the paper quoted a doctor surnamed Li from the hospital as saying.

WHAT?!?!?

The woman's hearing would likely return to normal after about two months, Li said.

"While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution," the paper said.

Courtesy of Yahoo! news

I am sorry, but does anyone else have severe ear-pain right about now? Owwww....

Maybe my LW and I have been married too long, but I just cannot imagine the amount of "passion" required to suck someone's eardrum out with a kiss. I am no Don Juan, but I can imagine passion. This, however is just...wow. I mean, there's passion and then there is passion.

Now that I think about it, the story did not specifically say he kissed her on the mouth; maybe he kissed her on the ear? I could see that.

No, wait...it said it "reduced pressure in the mouth" so there goes that theory.


I wonder.... could this be considered a sports-related injury? I mean, I have heard it said that sex could be considered a sport, after all.

Now, before I get criticized for "assuming" and just jumping to conclusions, I want a show of hands from everyone who thinks this act of otic terrorism was just a chaste kiss.

Anyone? Anyone?

That's what I thought. I am off now to go find an ice pack for my ear.

Sympathy pains, wouldn't you know?

NaNoWriMo 2008 - Update (final)

VICTORY!

Hey, I did it. I reserve the right to shout it from the housetops if I want to.

That's right. 50,000 words in 30 days. Well, technically 50,646 was the official count. Yep. I wrote a novel.

Of course, I am not done with it, but I have a heck of a good start on it. (Now I just need to keep the dedication to stay with it and finish it up.)

My LW also finished up; of course, she beat me by about 30 hours. It was the first win for both of us. I just want to tell you -- I am prouder of her than I am of me. She did an amazing job. Not only did she finish up, but she also kept me on task and pulled me toward the finish line several times.

-------------------------------
Interesting stats: I kept track of my word count every day and I will tell you, if you ever want to do this yourself . . . do not wind up with seven days of zero words. What happens if you do miss seven days? You wind up writing 28,742 words in the last nine days of the competition.

That's right. Here's my word count day-by-day, starting on November 22, 2008:

• 4,143
• 2,516
• 5,145
• 785
• 1,519
• 3,626
• 6,380
• 1,422
• 3,206

And let me tell you, the 5,145- and 6,380-word count days? They were painful. Very painful. They certainly made the 1,667 word-per-day suggestion seem reasonable.

Curse life and those missing seven days.

But it is over now for another year.

And tomorrow? Tomorrow I start thinking about the story for the next year. 335 days to come up with a story. That, and I will be back to blogging. Ok, my family will also see a happy me again.

But tonight I am icing down my hands.

See you then.

NaNoWriMo 2008 - Update 5

O.K. So, after my whine-fest yesterday? Yeah. I pounded out a 5,145-word-day yesterday.

I am a bit wiped-out this morning (I am seeing contrails on moving objects -- but that just makes walking to Court that much more exciting, right?), but I figure this will help cut down the amount of writing I have to do on Thanksgiving. My family may actually want to see me that day, after all.

Thanks for all the positive karma flowing my way. I am going to need it, but I am on the downward slope.

Wheeeeeeee!!!!
(ooooo! Look at all the pretty colors!)
See you all soon.